2. white rose 》jeongmi

LXXXVI

"i know it was selfish. it was cruel for me to hide everything from all of you, jeong-ah. but i couldn't help it, it grew on me and then i didn't know what to do anymore after realizing the mess i have made.

"it dawned on me when jimin asked me that question i've been avoiding for too long. and i realized how selfish i was for wishing that i wouldn't have to choose between the two of you. i didn't know wha--"

after listening to her, i finally had the courage to stop her, pulling her inside my arms once again, caressing her back as i hush her from crying.

"it's okay, mina." i whispered, "i understand."

before coming here, i already heard some things from jimin. mina's contract in the university only lasts for a year, and then she's going back to japan for good after this term. and she will have auditions in the next months in berklee and london. and if she got accepted, she's finally going to have her break in ballet, and then finally escape her mother's cage. and that would only be possible with the help of that other person.

i get it. he was her sweet escape. and i was left alone like a sacrifice for her dreams and freedom. i understand all of that, and i forgive her for doing so.

"it's okay to choose your dreams over something else. and it's also not your fault for having to love two people at the same time, mina." i laughed. "now stop crying before i stop you from flying back to japan."

she chuckled, wiping off her drenched eyes and cheeks as she breaks off from my embrace.

"so this is really goodbye?" her voice cracked.

as much as i didn't want this to be our last goodbyes, i have to accept the fact that some things are meant to end one day. and right here, right at this moment, ours just ended.

"i hope not."//