WHITE RABBIT 'ʲᵘⁿᵏʸᵘ

✧ Epilouge.

❪ JUNKYU'S ❫

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Tulala akong nakatitig sa kawalan. Kahit na sobrang ingay ng katabi ko ngayong si Jeongwoo, halos malabo ang mga sinasabi niya. Pakiramdam ko ang blanko ng isip ko ngayon.

Nasa airport na kami, yes, Yoojin's leaving already. At di ko maiwasang maging malungkot at malutang.

When she told me this yesterday, andami kong gustong sabihin sa kanya na hindi ko masabi.

Don't leave me. Wag kang tumuloy. Please, dito ka na lang.

Thoughts like that. Pero anong sinabi ko?

It's fine, magkikita pa naman tayo diba?

A complete opposite of what I felt.

A lie.

Halos di ako makatulog kagabi. Actually, I really didn't slept at all. First time kong umiyak buong gabi. I felt everything breaking into pieces. Kahit na alam kong kami pa din, hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip na paano kung magtagal siya doon ng mas matagal kesa sa inaakala ko?

Paano kung hindi agad maayos yung mga bagay na kailangan niyang ayusin doon? Paano kung di na siya pabalikin ng mga parents niya dito? Paano kami? Paano ako?

Kung pipigilan ko naman siya.. Paano si Yoojin?

Oo, magtatagal kami pero paano yung mga problema niya na hindi maaayos ng dahil sakin? Ng dahil sa nararamdaman ko?

I do love her, so much.

That's why I'm doing this.

"Love!" nabalik ako sa realidad ng marinig ko ang boses ni Yoojin.

I hide my sadness away again and flashed a smile at her. Inabot ko naman sa kanya yung luggage bag niya.

"Tinawag na ba yung flight number ko? 5 minutes na lang."

"Di pa." matamlay kong sagot.

Bigla naman niya akong tinignan, agad ko din namang binalik ang ngiti ko.

"Ya―" naputol ang sasabihin niya sana sakin ng tumunog ang speakers, it's an announcement.

And it's already her flight number.

"Noona, akin na 'yang luggage mo. Flight number na natin 'yon."

"Ah.. Oo nga."

Pagkaabot niya ng luggage kay Hyeongjun ay tumingin ulit siya sa akin. Tinapik naman ni Jeongwoo yung likod ko at sumama kay Hyeongjun.

"Mauna ka na Junie, susunod ako." imik ni Yoojin.

Inabot naman ni Yoojin ang mga kamay ko.

"May sasabihin ka ba? Sabihin mo na." she told me whike smiling.

Nakatingin lang ako sa mga mata niya. And I can't help but to feel emotional. Pero no, ayoko umiyak dito. I cried enough buong gabi. Tama na 'yon.

I let out a chuckle first to avoid having an eye contact with her again.

"Yoojin-ah."

I'm sorry.

"Yes, love?"

Let's meet again pag ayos ka na.. Pag pwede na tayo.

"I'll let you go for now."

❪ YOOJIN'S ❫

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"I'll let you go for now." that's the last thing he said, instead of a 'goodbye' and 'I love you'.

Akala ko magiging masakit at mahirap kapag pinigilan niya ako. Hindi ko alam na mas masakit pa pala kapag hinayaan niya na lang ako ng ganon.

I knew how he truly felt, dahil ganon din ang nararamdaman ko. Pero bakit ganito? Why didn't he told me he's already hurting? And instead, he let me go.

I was wearing white, running and trying to escape from many people. I thought of counting the seconds in my mind. Thinking how fast I should run so that no one could ever follow me.

Just like a White Rabbit.

I ran as far as I can, hanggang sa ma-realize ko na hawak-hawak na pala ako ni Junkyu. I didn't realize that I was already having fun with him. Hindi ko agad naisip na nagsimula na akong dumipende sa kanya.

I was all alone and independent. Pero bigla niya akong sinamahan. I was so irritated back then and even tried to push him away, but he always managed to come back. He was like that all the time.

Nasanay akong bumabalik siya, nasanay akong nandiyan lang siya sa tabi ko parati, nasanay ako sa kanya.

I was always trying to escape. I didn't want to waste any time, any moment. Kaya ginawa ko ang lahat para tumakas at gamitin ang mga natitirang oras ko para sa sarili ko.

And someone actually said he will let go of me.

I should be happy dahil eto naman ang lagi kong ginusto na mangyari diba? Ang mapakawalan. Ang hayaan mabuhay just the way I want.

But out of all people, why does it should be him?

Why does it have to be you, Kim Junkyu?

Why does it have to be someone na pinaka-ayokong mawala sakin?

When I told him to stop acting all good, hindi ito yung ineexpect ko. Because it hurted, way too much.

But I'm sure, he has a reason for doing this.

I already felt him. I already knew that he doesn't want me to leave. I can see it all through his eyes. They were telling me more than anything.

That's why I'll leave, and just like you said, for now.

But I will be back. I promise to be back for you, Junkyu-ssi.

At sa puntong 'yon, I'll make sure..

Forever will not be just a second for the both of us.

The End.

"The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."
―White Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland.

may susunod pa! but not part of the story :)