Chapt.24

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Landon's P.O.V

*A Month Later*

"I am sorry Mr. McClain, but we did all we could. She is gone. I am sorry for your lost." The doctor spoke solemnly before leaving the room, the nurses following behind. I laid down beside my wife. My lover. My best friend. My life. My everything. I held her lifeless body in my arms, wishing and craving for her warmth, touch, her giggle, her kisses, the way her eyes twinkled when I would say 'I love you', the way her nose crinkled when she disliked something, and they way she mumbled in her sleep. I cried into her neck, wishing I could have one more second with her to tell her everything I love about her.

Mrs. Anderson bawling and leaning into her husband's arms, her brother silently crying, but trying to be strong for his fiance, the love of his life, and then there is me. Alone. I have cried all my tears, all is left is the pain in my chest, the burning sensation everytime I think of her. I stood emotionless and unmoving while reading the words that will haunt me forever.

Lily Jane McClain 1996-2014. Loving wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

I sprung up out of bed, with sweat dripping down my face. Gasping for air. I laid back down and ran my hand through my hair. I turned and there she was. Sleeping peacefully in our bed. I sighed and pulled her closer.

"Mhm baby what's wrong." She whispered cuddling into me. I evened out my breathing and kissed her head

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about. Go to sleep my love." She nodded and fell into a deep sleep.

It was just a dream. She is here with me. I repeated to myself over and over again, before I finally fell asleep.

I awoke up to an empty bed. Panic rushed through my veins. I ran into the bathroom, nothing. I ran down the steps and there she stood, in only my t-shirt cooking dinner. I sighed and ran up to her pulling her into me,

"Whoa there big boy, your crushing me." She giggled, I shook my head not letting her go. I needed to feel her.

"Landon honey." She whispered and rubbed my back, I pulled away and kissed her forehead.

"Don't." I grumbled and grabbed a cup of coffee, I refuse to talk about my feelings. I am focused on her and only her.

"We need to talk about this." She spook exasperated, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Not now. I have to go to work. I Love You." I pecked her forehead and went to go change. I changed into my work clothes, I have been working with a construction company for the past month. I got in my pick up truck and drove to work.

Lily's P.O.V

I watched my husband leave for work, while I stood annoyed and worried. He will not let me help him. He is watching me like a hawk, like I was glass. I adore him for that, but I want our lives to go back to normal. I am not in remission, I will always have my cancer, but I am doing as good as I can be. I shook my head, deciding to go visit my parents. I dressed in ripped skinny jeans, a flannel shirt and boots. I tried to style my short pixie cut, and put some mascara on. I went to the barn and grabbed Lightning. Landon, Pa, Travis, and the whole town built onto the little cottage with my piano in it. They built me a barn for Lightning. Of course we would need a bigger house for when we have children, but for now it is perfect. I rode Lightning to my childhood house. I went into the kitchen and found my mama cooking.

"Hey babydoll." My mama smiled and kissed my cheek. I smiled and hugged her.

"Hi mama. I need to talk to you." I spoke and sighed. We sat down on the couch with tea and I sighed.

"It is Landon. I need your advice." I spoke taking a sip of tea. I looked up at her and smiled

"He can't get over that day. I know it scared him and I don't know how to help him. He woulnt let me help him. He has taken the best care of me, but he hasn't been my husband. I know this weird to talk to you about, but I need him to love me, touch me like I am not glass. " I cried, I need his touch, I craved it.

"It is not weird sweetie. Tell him how you feel. And if he needs more time then tell him that is okay. It will all work out." She smiled and kissed my hand.

"Thanks mom. I am going to make him a special dinner." I kissed her cheek, before riding off with Lightning. I decided to take a longer trail. I breathed in the mountain air, enjoying the wind through my hair, this ride made me feel alive. I decided to make steak, baked potatoes, and salad. I dressed in a black dress. I put on lipstick and was satisfied with my look. I heard the door slam and my name being called. I walked down the steps and smiled at Landon.

"Hi baby I made your favorite dinner."I smiled and pecked his lips, he quirked an eyebrow.

"My favorite dinner and your all dressed up. What is the special occasion." He spoke seriously, I stared at him and shook my head.

"It is our own month anniversary."I spoke trying not to show the tears forming in my eyes.

"I know sweetheart. Here." He handed me a jewerly box. I slapped his chest and opened it. It was a beautiful charm bracelet.

"You can add charms to it. I love you "I smiled and kissed his cheek

"Thank you."I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, while I made his plate

"How was work." I asked, I grabbed him a beer and put his plate infront of him

"Work. I would rather be here with you" I smiled and we ate in silence. The silence was killing me.

"I am tired of this." I sighed and dropped my fork. It made a terrible noise making him look up

"What's wrong." He asked slowly, with worry in his eyes.

"I am tired of us not being us. "I shook my head and got up from the table and went upstairs to our room. I sighed this is not how I wanted this evening to go. I turned around when I heard a knock. I had set up our bedroom with candles, he looked around

"What is this."He questioned, I sighed and took up from the bed.

"Take off you clothes." I spoke with as much courage as I could.

"Lily its" He started, I shook my head and walked up to him

"Be my husband. Get undress, get into bed, and hold me. I don't know what your mad about or scared of because you wouln't talk to me. But, I am scared too Landon, I-I cant, if you woulnt. If we are going to ever have a chance at life together I need you, please" I cupped his cheek. He grabbed my wrist in his hand

"You died in my arms. You died in my arms and then you left instructions that I wasn't aloud to save your life, You want to know what I am scared of. I am scared of everything Lily. I am scared to move, to breath, to touch you. I can't loose you. I wouln't survive. And that is your fault. You made me love you, you made me let you in, and then you freakin died in my arms. " He screamed. Tears streamed down my face. I cupped his face between my hands not saying a word. I kissed him and he pulled me in for a hug and held me. That night we held each other. We forgot that I had cancer and that we were back to the way we were.

Thank you for reading !

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