Before I Go

Chapter 8

Present

     Groaning, I woke up to my parents fighting downstairs. I rubbed my eyes and laid in bed for a moment, wishing I could sleep forever. I wished sleep wasn't temporary because all I wanted was to never wake up again.

     Glancing at the clock, I realized I had to go to to school soon, so I dragged myself out of bed and went to the washroom to get ready. And as I got ready, the entire time I continued to hear my parents fighting. In an endless loop, without any breaks, my parents screamed at each other, trying to break the other, and I grew more and more numb. They'd been fighting for years and I learned to ignore it.

     Once I was ready, I slowly went down the stairs. And as I went down the stairs, I turned to look into the kitchen where my parents were shouting at each other.

     "Just get out!" my mom screamed. "Get out! We don't need you. Go drink on the streets."

     "Who's going to pay the bills you bitch!" my dad shouted back. "Don't act like you don't need me. This is my house!."

     "I hate you!"

     I shuddered as I noticed my mom's words were dripping with agony. As I looked to her and saw tears were streaking down her face, I felt my heart drop. And for a moment, I paused on the stairs to stare at her, wondering if I should jump in. Because it wasn't my mom's fault I was broken, it was my dad's and my mom did want what's best for me, even if she wasn't great at showing it.

      But knowing my dad would turn on me and that he was like talking to a wall that wouldn't budge, I knew it was pointless. This was my parents' war and I didn't want to get hit with the crossfire, so I pulled my eyes away. And despite how much I wanted to step in and save my mom from my dad's miserable self, I knew I had to be selfish and protect myself too.

     So going to the front door, I left the house and never looked back as I headed to school. But despite how hard I tried to numb my parents out, they were on my mind the entire day.

*****

     I sighed as I packed my bag with the textbooks I needed to do my homework. After a long day, I was thankful to go home and take a nap. I was tired of today and I just wanted it to the end.

     Looking to my right, I looked to Shane's locker and sighed once again. I had officially given up on Shane as well because I knew it was pointless. I was done chasing him, tired of begging for forgiveness, so I finally gave up. I realized it was for the best and even if I had to go to the grave without making amends with the person who'd meant the most to me, I realized there was nothing I could do.

     Soon, I finished packing and I shut my locker. Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I walked through the hallways and made my way to leave, but then I heard something crash against a locker. Hesitating, I frowned and growing concerned, I turned into the hallway where the crash came from, and I grew stunned when I saw a classmate pinning Shane against the locker.

     The classmate was Ben, who was also the quarterback of our football team. He was a head taller than Shane, his shoulder so broad he was double my size, and he had his hand gripping the front of Shane's t-shirt as he glared down at him. I felt my heart drop.

     But unlike how I felt, Shane looked calm. He was staring back up at Ben expressionless with not a single ounce of fear in his eyes. He looked so calm and even though I knew Shane didn't need help, I couldn't resist running up to them. I couldn't resist interfering as I thought back to elementary school and remembered the years where Shane needed my help when it came to bullies.