𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑

Chapter 12

The next morning...

Kairi woke up with his arms still wrapped around Mattia's waist, their legs tangled under the blanket. Mattia was snoring softly and Kairi's head rose and fell with the motion of Mattia's chest. Kairi sighed shakily as the previous day's events came crashing back into his mind. Mattia woke up when he felt Kairi shift around and he wrapped his arms around his small boyfriend.

M: Good morning belllissimo. How do you feel?

K: numb.

M: Are you hungry?

K: Not really.

M: I think you should still eat something.

K: I guess so

M: You stay here, I'll bring you some breakfast ok? I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.

Mattia got up and left the room, his warmth leaving with him. Leaving Kairi feeling cold, numb, and alone in the bed.

4 days later...

The next few days were a whirlwind for Kairi. Everyone that he interacted with bombarded him with apologies and statements about how great his mother was. Kairi didn't cry in front of anyone anymore because he was tired of receiving looks of pity from everyone and he felt like he needed to be strong. But every night, in the safety of Mattia's embrace, Kairi broke down and cried until he fell asleep. Mattia wasn't sure if that was a healthy way for Kairi to handle his grief but he just held Kairi and tried to help the best that he could. Mattia's parents were great but Kairi felt smothered when he only wanted to be alone with his grief. Mattia and Kairi had not been to school at all that week and Rita's funeral was tomorrow. Mattia's mom had offered to plan the funeral and Kairi gladly accepted the offer because he didn't want to think about putting his mother's body into the ground. Kairi was doing his best but he often found himself just staring at the framed picture of his mother, thinking about her musical laughter; something that he would never hear again. Ultimately, he just needed time.

The day before the funeral Kairi was sitting on Mattia's bed while Mattia was at his desk on his computer.

K: Mattia?

M: Yeah babe?

K: Would it be bad if I didn't go tomorrow?

Mattia stood up and then sat down on the bed beside Kairi.

M: You don't have to go Kai, but you're going to regret it if you don't.

Kairi sighed.

K: I know, you're right. I'm just not ready.

Mattia leaned down and kissed Kairi's cheek.

M: I'll be by your side the entire time, you can do this.

The day of the funeral...

Kairi woke up to the sun streaming through Mattia's window. Mattia was already awake and messing around on his phone. Kairi frowned when he remembered that today was the day of his mother's funeral. Kairi started to shake slightly and his breathing got fast. Mattia recognized the fact that Kairi was sliding into a panic attack so he quickly gathered Kairi into his arms, planting small kisses on the top of his head.

K: I-I'm sorry

M: Don't apologize Kairi you're not doing anything wrong.

K: I'm just not ready to say goodbye.