𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑

Chapter 24

do you guys think this is gonna be a happy ending or nah? I wanna know the opinions cuz I already know the answer.

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM
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continuing from last chapter......

Mattia had left the house after the argument. He needed time to cool off and then he was planning on going back and apologizing to Kairi. Mattia had said some things that he regretted; he didn't mean to fight with Kairi, knowing how fragile the smaller boy was. Mattia walked around the block, planning his apology and when he got back to his house he slowly walked up the stairs. When he got to his room, he walked in, ready to apologize, but Kairi wasn't in the bedroom. Mattia heard whimpering sounds coming from the bathroom so he slowly approached the door.

M: Kairi? I-I'm home. Can we talk?

Mattia didn't hear any response, just more whimpering and crying so he slowly pushed the door open. Instantly feeling his stomach flip over when he saw Kairi sitting on the floor and red everywhere. Mattia instantly dropped down beside Kairi who was staring at his lacerated arms.

No, no. Kairi why? Why would you do this to yourself.

M: Oh Kairi, I'm so sorry.

K: I-I

M: Shhhh Kai, it's ok. I'm sorry, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. I love you Kairi, we're gonna be ok.

Kairi looked up at Mattia, tears still pouring out of his eyes.

K: I'm s-sorry Mattia, I didn't m-mean to.

M: I know baby. It's ok.

Mattia grabbed several towels from under the sink and wrapped Kairi's bleeding arms tightly. Kairi winced but allowed Mattia to help him. Mattia was concerned as Kairi looked rather pale. He scooped Kairi up bridal style and carried him gently to the bed. Kairi looked up at him tearfully.

M: I'm gonna go clean the bathroom ok baby? Call me if you need me ok?

Kairi nodded weakly and Mattia kissed his forehead before going back into the bathroom.

Mattia sighed as he looked around the bathroom, there was a pair of bloody scissors in the sink, and there was scarlett blood everywhere. The sink, and floor were slick with Kairi's blood and Mattia felt himself tearing up.

I never should have left him alone, I knew about his mental illness and I promised to protect him from it. This is all my fault

Mattia felt hot tears on his cheeks as he grabbed the cleaning supplies from under the sink and started to slowly clean Kairi's blood off of the floor. After almost ten minutes, Mattia washed the last of the blood out of the sink and as he was putting the cleaning supplies away he heard Kairi call out, his voice fearful.

K: Mattia!

Mattia dropped everything and ran back into his room, finding Kairi sitting on the edge of the bed, his arms still wrapped in towels that were now stained red. Kairi was shaking and hyperventilating again.

K: Mattia I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I-I know you think I'm stupid and weak, and I'm sorry. Mattia I need you, please don't leave me.

Mattia sat down on the bed and gently pulled Kairi into his lap so that Mattia was cradling the smaller boy.

M: Listen to me Kairi. I am never going to leave you ever again. Everything that I said when we were fighting. I didn't mean it, I love you Kairi. I love you so much and I will never leave you. Ever. Ok? I'm still waiting for the day when I get to watch you walk down the aisle at our wedding. Right baby? Remember our dream wedding, I'm going to marry you Kairi, remember that.

Kairi shook, his breathing still short and fast as Mattia rubbed small circles on his back and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

M: Deep breaths baby, deep breaths you can do this.

Kairi started to slowly calm down and relax into Mattia's grasp and when he was finally calmer Mattia gently spoke up.

M: Kai, I have to clean your arms.

Kairi didn't respond so Mattia gently sat him up and grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom. He gently unwrapped Kairi's arms that had finally stopped bleeding. Mattia tried to hold back a gasp as he saw the full extent of what Kairi had done to himself. The insides of Kairi's forearms were completely covered in angry red scratches, some deeper than others. His soft skin was puffy and swollen with purple bruises forming around each scratch. Mattia frowned as he thought about all of the scratches becoming scars on his beautiful boyfriend's skin. Mattia took a cleaning wipe and started to slowly dab away the dried blood off of Kairi's arms. Kairi hissed in pain and pulled his arm away.

M: I'm sorry Kai. I have to clean it.

Kairi nodded and blinked the tears out of his eyes as Mattia continued to clean and then wrap his arms in gauze. When he was done, Mattia kissed each of Kairi's hands.

M: you're ok Kairi.

K: I'm sorry Mattia.

M: I know baby. You don't have to apologize, I'm just happy that you're ok. C'mere.

Mattia put the first aid kit on the floor and pulled Kairi into his arms. When they were both comfortable on the bed, Mattia started rubbing small, comforting circles on Kairi's stomach and not more than ten minutes later, Kairi was snoring softly.

Mattia gently lifted Kairi off of him and laid him in the bed. Mattia went back to the bathroom and quickly finished wiping the last of the blood away and put away the cleaning supplies. He leaned on the counter and sighed. Mattia didn't even realize that he started crying until he felt the tears rolling off of his chin.

Why? Why did I leave him alone. I'm so stupid. I knew there was a pair of scissors, I drove him to do that, I should've been here, I shouldn't have left. Fuck. This is my fault.

Mattia knew that Kairi had been struggling since his mother had died and Mattia did his best to help Kairi but it was honestly exhausting for Mattia to constantly try and keep Kairi happy.

But I'll keep trying every day of my life, because I love him.......

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kinda toxic no?

wow, i honestly completely forgot that i wrote all of this.