Queen 2 Logan's story

3. Hoochie mama, Baby Mama

~Andrea~

 Shit was getting crazy. I can't believe Logan threatened to take me to court for our daughter. This nigga really had some damn nerves. If he had a real fucking job, I would have put his ass on child support. Then he had the nerve to have that wench drop off my daughter. I was furious. I had just gotten Elara down for her nap while I was waiting on my John to slide through.

I had a vast blanket covering her crib just in case she was to wake up—that and the Johns get freaked when there's a baby in the room. I remember this one time, Elara had to only be two or three months old and Logan came barging in my room while I had one of my Johns in here. Things didn't end so well. Logan went ballistic and started beating on homeboy. This made me think he actually cared about me. Well, that was until he started getting on my case about fucking niggas while his daughter was in the same room.

Y'all can judge me if you want to, but I still got to make money at the end of the day. Yea, Logan did provide for his daughter. Besides pampers and wipes, everything he buys her stay at his crib. That's what I was mostly mad about. Before Queen ever came into the picture, I was supposed to be living there with him. I stopped taking my birth control just to make sure I got pregnant by him. As further insurance, I was only sucking dick so when paternity came into question, there would be no doubt in my mind that Logan was the father. I have been head over heels for Logan since we were in middle school. I know that seems hard to believe but it's the truth.

Logan never paid me any mind in school. While all the other boys in our class waited on me hand and foot because I was the only girl in class with the body of a woman. Logan basically kept to himself, besides the small circle of friends he had. It used to bother me. I could have been with any one of my choosing, except the one person I wanted.

I tried talking to him once, and he just straight ignored me in front of everybody. It was then I had to make him pay. If he wasn't gonna choose to be with me, I was gonna make him suffer. I didn't want to be the pregnant girl in middle school, so I waited until we were in high school. We both went to Simon Gratz before Mastery Charter bought it.

I caught him on the way to lunch and fucked him in one of the stairways. It was over after that. While he ignored me in school we would meet up every day at my house and have sex. Yes, I was a bitch on a mission. If this nigga wasn't gonna love me, he was gonna deal with me for the rest of his life. Not gonna lie, I did think having his baby would change his mind. It just made things so much worse.

After I told him I was pregnant, he stopped coming over and showing up to school. The only time I would see him was when I had a doctor's appointment. He would never say anything to me. Always just so focused on what the doctors were saying and asking them questions. That's when my hate for him grew even more. No matter what I did, he never wanted me, unless I was popping my pussy in his face. If I couldn't be happy, he wouldn't be either.

After Elara was born, I started to take the hate I felt for him out on her. I love my daughter, I just couldn't stand her—how much she favored him, that every time I look at her, I'm reminded of the boy who only thought I was good enough to fuck. The crazy part is, I have a conscious, and I understand I was the one to pull Elara into all this and that she was innocent. It wasn't her fault he didn't want to be with me. I just couldn't stop myself from treating her the way I did. After all, her only purpose of being here was to make him fall for me. Yet, she failed.

If Elara couldn't make her father want to be with us, it was up to me. I'd be damned if I let Logan slip through my fingers, not after all the sacrifices I made just to have him. I put in the work and the time. Now, it was time for me to get what I was owed.

All I wanted to do was be with the man I love, to build a family and to get out of my mama's house. Was that too much to ask? Hell, even if Logan doesn't love me, I would be content with him just being with me because of Elara. That wasn't even an option. Logan was a good man, but he was being a good man to the wrong woman. He was sitting Queen on a pedestal and that bitch was soo gonna get knocked the fuck off her high horse.

Was it so bad that all I wanted to do was build a family that stayed a family? To have all my kids look alike and have the same two parents? I was trying to have something a lot of people don't—give my daughter a sense of family. I wanted to do it right. I gave Logan my all and in return, he gave his all to Queen. I guess having hopes and dreams makes me a bad person, or at least that's what it feels like.