Everywhere

Realizations

DEMIR POV

It was horrible. I took the hand drawing and made a paper ball of it throwing it to the floor with the many others. It was unproductive day part 7, since last Wednesday I hadn't been able to come with any good idea, normally I had no problems with developing designs but my creative lock had extended too much already, this was beyond exasperating.

I laid down on my desk chair, staring at the roof. My mind drifted to her without permission and I wondered how she was doing. She hadn't called me, and I hadn't called her either, she wasn't alone anymore and the knowledge itself made me clench my teeth. I had gone the next day early in the morning, I wanted to see if she needed help, but I was surprised by a black motorcycle outside her house. My mind was turned into a mess, I had the feeling the owner of that bike was the guy from the other time, 'Ibo bey'. With my fisted hands I went up to her door and I was about to knock, but at the last second, I thought it better and turned around. I almost came back a second time, but after one step I forcibly dragged my legs back to my house. 

Still she stayed in my mind for the rest of the day (and night). Actually, I would find myself thinking about her most of the time, I'd picture her in that red dress, I would remember the feel of my hand on her waist and the warm of her hands on my chest when we danced,  I would dream about the way I almost kissed her that Sunday night...however all thoughts and all dreams always ended up with that black bike outside her door.... so I refused to call her.

She was not even my partner anymore, Vedat had said she was coming on today, Tuesday, to sign the papers to make official the end of or partnership. That thought sank in my mind while I stared at the ceiling: she was not going to come back. It was for the better, that is what I have been telling myself, why then did I felt so uneasy about it? I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose; I could feel a headache starting.

"Merhaba Demir bey" - My eyes opened in a flash - "are we ready to work?, I've been drawing some sketches that I want to show you, I was just telling Ayda you were going to really like the idea I came up for the big restaurant overlooking the Bosphorus" - I was staring at her like if I was seeing a ghost. Selin walked in rambling all the way to the couch I had in the office, she was using crutches. When she sat down, she looked at me with a huge smile, I had not said a word not even moved from my desk, I was completely bewildered. Didn't Vedat said she was over with us?

"Yaaa Azmiye çok teşekkürler, sen çok tatlısın" - She said now looking at the door.

"Anything for my Selincim" - Since my eyes refused to leave her, it was not until Azmiye got to the couch with her laptop suitcase and a tea on her hand, that I actually registered her. Selin sent her flying kisses and Azmiye disappeared from my view, my eyes were stuck at her, still completely lost on the fact that she was here. She drank a sip from her tea before her gaze found me again.

"Ne?" - She took another sip.

"Ben- Sen- .... What are you doing here" - I finally willed my body to stand up.

"Çalışıyorum ben and you are only looking at me Demir bey, we're losing time now" - She didn't even bother to look at me this time, she was turning on her computer and opening a file she took from the computer suitcase. Her words made me smile, which I hid looking to the floor. I squared my shoulders and walked towards her to sit down beside her.

"Well it was about time don't you think, I've been working alone for days now" - I put back my stern voice.

"Evet, evet, so much you haven't come up with a single idea... I talked to Ayda... hanim"

I looked at her with my evil and eye and she smiled at me before drinking one more sip of her tea.

-Well maybe if you had been here, we could have had something by now
-Awww Demir, does that mean you missed me?
-Demir bey!
-But that's what I said!
-Hayır, you did not
-Yes, I did!