Everywhere

Kal

DEMIR POV

Selin was leaving.

Her eyes were regarding me, the sadness in them mirroring the one that was filling in mine. The house and maybe the city too became silent as the sound of my heart beatings took over, my ears beating with it while I regarded at Selin.

I didn't want her to go, I didn't want to go to sleep without her scent, without her warmness, I didn't want to wake up without the feel of her body in my arms, I didn't want to open my eyes every morning and not find her.

She had stayed only for a couple of nights, and I realized I was not ready to let her go. Will I ever be? In just a few days, she had taken the walls of this house and built a home, only in a couple of hours, she had grabbed our lonely hearts and built a family with them.

"Demir?" – Her whisper reached me and with it, sounds around me returned. Her sadness was visible and it stabbed me. She had seen the disappointment and ache in me, and now she was aching with me because of it.

I took the two steps that separated us and took her in my arms. Holding me to her, holding my soul to hers, my life to hers. She embraced me and I buried my head in her neck breathing her sweet scent in. She and Aslı were my everything now, they were where I wanted to be, they were where my happiness laid on.

I felt her fingers caressing the back of my neck, she was tender, and she was loving. She was here with us, here with me, and even if she were not to remain, she would not be letting us go...

For tonight, I knew she needed to go. She had her own fears to figure out, her own insecurities and I was going to hold her hand while she faced them. I didn't want her to leave, but if she needed to, I was going to love her while she did so, if she stayed if she leaved, I was going to respect her decisions and walk besides her.

I loosened my arms to look at her, smiling towards her. Evet I wanted her to stay, Evet I wanted to share my 24/7 with her, but there were things that needed time, and patience. And for her, I would wait the rest of my life. I had promised her I would walk with her, at her pace, and that was what I was going to be doing, even if letting her go broke my heart.

She stared at my smile for a while before giving me back her own while we were still holding each other in our arms.

"Baba, don't be sad" – Selin and I tensed as we heard Aslı's voice, our heads turning to find her, but our arms still not leaving each other. She was standing right besides us with a sweet smile on her face – "Selin abla won't leave yet, we will watch a movie first"

Selin and I stared at each other for a second before kneeling towards her. My daughter's innocence was so beautiful it gave warm ness to this moment, we took her in our arms at the same time, the way we would always do, and kissed her cheeks as her soft giggles filled the house. 

....

The lights were off now, I was staring at Selin as the screen light casted different shapes in her face. Aslı had fallen asleep in between us, her head on Selin's lap and her feet on mine. The scene had a sense of déjà vu since we had already done something like this before.

At that time, I had lived running away from her, scared of all the feelings that were threatening to tear down every wall inside me, scared of everything she provoked only when her eyes met mine... Still, I had looked at her through out the film, losing myself in her beauty, losing myself in her scent, wondering every second of it, if there would ever be a time were my emptiness and loneliness could be filled with a light like the one her eyes irradiated.

We were watching the very same movie now, but this time as I stared at her there was no more emptiness, and there was no more loneliness in my soul. She was there in every corner, in every heartbeat.