Everywhere

Yağmur Yağıyor

SELIN POV

The sun came up and went down every day marking the passing of time in my newly found paradise. My days were filled now with warmness, with laughs, with excitement. Demir and Aslı had come into my life like fireworks in the night sky. I loved them so, so much that sometimes it scared me the intensity of what I felt for them. I had never in my life imagined that I would live what I was living with them now. My way of living and my priorities were now taking a different shape, molding to include them... and sometimes it just terrified me, it scared me how much I needed them in my life now.

Aslı was riding her bike around us, her laughs filled the space and warmed my heart. My eyes couldn't stop following her, wanting to make sure she was okay, my soul rejoiced in her happiness but at the same time feared the possibility of her fall. By now I knew I could and would do whatever it took to make sure she would always be okay, to make sure she would always be happy, I would give up my own life only for her to neve be sad, to always feel loved and protected.

It had been something completely new for me, I had never felt the kind of love I felt for Aslı, it was indescribable with words, and lately I found myself wondering if what I was feeling was actually how a mother felt for her child... The thought was so frightening... I just had never though this kind of love could be so... dependent... I needed her safety and I needed her happiness, as much as I needed air to breath.

"I feel like I'm watching a new version of Aslı" – Merve's voice startled me– "She used to be so withdrawn, sometimes so fearful of everything around, I never imagined I could see her happily riding her bike with friends in the park"

Merve was sitting with me on a picnic blanket. We had decided to come together to the park with the children while Vedat and Demir worked on some urgent legal stuff in Artemim. Aslı and I had been riding our bikes around until some new friends of hers joined us, I eventually left her with them and came to sit down with Merve with my eyes never parting from Aslı, wanting to make sure she was driving safely while still having fun.

"Demir has mentioned it too..." – I was really curious about what Merve was saying. I had known Aslı was shy and fearful of strangers, I had seeing her being less friendly with her pears in the dancing lessons and it had also taken me a while to win her over, but I had never actually given it too much thought.

"Evet... it was like she didn't want people to come close to her, you know?" – Merve was thoughtful, like trying to search for the right words – "Eylül left us when Aslı was three years old, she was too young to properly remember her now, but old enough to actually remember what having a mother felt like... maalesef she was also old enough to remember what losing a mother was like"

Her words dug a whole in my chest and my eyes searched for Aslı in the distance trying to get some reassurance from her smiley face.

"Three years old... She's soon to be 7 now, it hasn't been long at all" – I said it more to myself than to Merve.

"When Demir showed up at our door with a crying baby girl in his arms... his eyes were so lost so desperate that day Selin, I thought we would never get him back" – She sighed and gave a kiss to Umut in his head – "We knew it was coming, still finding out she had passed away... it broke our hearts" – The ache in my chest wouldn't let me pronounce any word at all – "Teşekkürler Selin, gerçekten"

"Neden?" – I whispered

"Demir and Aslı are coming back to life since you came into their lives, and I can't be more thankful to you" – Her smile was sincere – "I know they will bring into your own just as much brightness"

"They already do" – I said it without a doubt, without any hesitation.

My eyes remained on Aslı while she played with her friends. Her laughs and smiles making my soul lighter after what Merve had told me.