Our Little Secret

31-Heart On The Line

*Leahs pov*

"F-fuck! Don't ever leave me again Leah...shit!" Jen says after I finish eating her out. I come back to her face and kiss her. "I don't ever want to lose you..." I whisper.

"Leah! Leah, get up its 2 pm." Angelo says. Then I wake up. "What the hell?.." I say and rub my eyes. "Jesus how late did you stay up last night??" He asks and throws a pillow at me. "I-I couldn't sleep." I sit up.

"Well you're lucky it's Saturday." He chuckles. "We're you ok last night? I didn't get home until like 2 hours ago. "Yeah I was fine." I say and stand up. Then I sit back down on the edge of the bed and everything that happened last night plays through my head. "Fuck.." I sigh. "What's wrong?" Angelo asks. "I-just have a headache." I say and force a smile, then I get up and do my morning routine.

I spend the day with Angelo, we go out to eat, then we run some errands. I'm really trying to occupy myself today so I can keep my mind off of Jennifer. I can't even think about how she's feeling right now. I mean I'm upset about it too. But I know it's way harder on her, I'm the one who told her we can't be what we are....or what we were...

I honestly wish we could've worked out, not as lovers, but just as friends. She's such a great friend. Although, deep down inside me, I do wish we could've had a relationship, like girlfriends. Maybe if we weren't married and we weren't moms, we could've grown together as a couple, I would've loved that...

But it's done, over with. No matter how much pain it causes both of us, it's better this way.

Me and Angelo are on our way to get Sofia from Yasmin's house. "What's going through your mind babydoll?" Angelo asks and puts his hand on my thigh. "Oh, nothing, just tired." I shrug. But that's a whole damn lie.

Jennifer confessed her love to me. I knew we had feelings...but not that deeply. I felt like a bitch when she was literally pouring her heart out to me, but I knew I couldn't give in. Even though it was so hard, she just gets me so weak, she's honestly irresistible. From her head to her toes, every little thing about her.....is just perfect..

Fuck, here I am thinking about her again. Ugh, and I have to see her on Monday. I guess we're just gonna avoid eachother.
Which is gonna suck, we basically only had eachother. She'd talk to me about all her problems, things she's never even told her mom. But now it's like she has no one, and I don't want her to be lonely..

-
*jens pov*

"Mama, I'm worried about you.." Emme says as I'm giving her a bath. "Why baby?" I ask. "You look sad." She pouts. "I'm not, you know why?" I tilt my head. "Why?" She says with interest. "Because you make me happy." I say softly and she smiles big. "C'mon, let's get you dry." I say and lift her out of the tub.

I get her dry and put her in pajamas, then I put Max and Emme to bed. I go downstairs and Alex is asleep on the couch. So I go outside and sit by the pool so I can get all in my feels about Leah, which isn't the best idea, but it was bound to happen. So here I am, crying over her.

Like if I actually meant something to her, she would've at least tried to make us work. I mean, I would actually fucking leave Alex, no question. Yeah, he's a good guy, but our spark just isn't there anymore....but, he is the father of my kids..and there's no way Leah would leave Angelo.

It's just...I finally find someone. I've been pushing through with Alex trying to make things work between us, but once Leah came into my life, I stopped trying with him, and just couldn't get her off my mind.

And when I fall for someone, I really fall. It's not like I could just hold my feelings in. So I didn't, and luckily, after a few try's, she let me in, and showed me her feelings too.

But now it's all bullshit. I can't believe she thought we could just have our little "fling" and she would be able to walk away like it never happened. Fuck, this hurts so bad, to have your heartbroken. I never thought I'd truly feel this pain since all my relationships were just fooling around. But of course, Leah's different. I can't even explain how I feel about her, I never will be able to because there's just so many feelings for her that I have, and they're constantly growing. More and more.

But what I said to Emme earlier was true. My coconuts make me so happy, I'd be nowhere without them. God, I love them both so much, they really do make everything better, and I'm so thankful for both of them. I know it's hard when they see me like this, they just don't know what to do. Especially Emme, she's always looking out for me, she's witnessed a lot of me and Alex's fights since she's so clingy to me. And as a mother, that makes me feel so bad, no kid should ever have to go through that. She's just a little girl and she doesn't understand.

But I'm trying my best...I really am. But, I don't think this pain is ever going to go away. Not unless I actually get Leah back. It's stupid that I actually try with her since she obviously doesn't want to make an effort. But that's what happens when I really love someone, I constantly put my heart on the line, and that's why I always get hurt.