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⠠⠄⡐⠠⠁⠄✰☽⡐⠁⠠⡐⠄⠄
I slowly open my bedroom door trying my best not to wake anyone. I had sat down on the curb in front of the house for an hour before I could bring myself to enter. It was now almost midnight and the house was still.
Quickly kicking off my shoes I curl up under my covers letting the stinging pain in my chest take over.
Quiet sobs escaped making painful waves hit my chest. I brought my pillow in between my arms burring my face in it to muffle my cries.
I was so sick of crying it felt as if it was the only thing I knew how to do. I missed the feeling of contentment I got after my day. All I had now was an empty, cold room in which the only thing that truly belonged to me could easily be packed away in a small school bag.
The creaking of my wooden door made me put my hand over my mouth completely silencing my sobs. I knew who it was seeing his shadow hit my thin curtains. I remained still in hopes that he'd go away but my lungs filling back up causing me to gasp for air.
He walks closer to me laying his hand on my shoulder. "Lana...," he whispers slightly pulling my shoulder. I keep my face buried in my pillow not wanting him to see me like this once again.
"Are you ok?" Finn lifts my sweat-drenched hair clinging to my cheeks trying to get me to look at him.
After a minute of silence and my shaking, hysterical body I turn slowly to look at him. My lips quivered as I struggled to speak from the knot in my throat.
"Pl-please. Just leave-e me alone." I stutter shutting my burning eyes. Grabbing my pillow once again I clutch it in my arms tightly curling back into a ball.
Finn pulls my blanket over my exposed shoulder before walking out of the room and gently shutting the door.
I feel myself unravel as the clicking of the door is heard in the eerie silence of the dark room.
My fingernails dug into my palms as I released all the anger and sadness I was storing. My pillow soon became drenched as I shove my face into it aggressively only catching my breath every few seconds.
Even if I did have feelings for Sadie I couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't right. And Finn. I couldn't hurt Finn. He has done so much for me and we were both so close now I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his happiness. We both have endured so much loss, one of us deserved to be happy.
Either way, there was no happy ending for me. It was useless to even think about what could be if I let myself accept what might be true. I would only hurt myself and I couldn't take any more disappointment.
I just wanted something good for a change. Was that so much to ask for? One small shred of hope. Something to hold onto.
My sobs had died down leaving me with silent tears. My eyes burned so much I couldn't keep them open for longer than a second. My heart was pounding so hard that I laid my hand over it feeling the racing beats.
