They Call Her Baby

12

Lonely

Bea

After Kyelle left out of the bathroom for the second time I looked at all the scares in the mirror. I felt tears coming down because all I could see was every negative word I've ever been called. I could feel myself being pushed and pulled by the jokes or being hurt by some girl dumping me and telling everyone at school about my situation. It was like every bad situation that I thought I outgrew and dug deep down was right in front of my face. I quickly dried my eyes and put on the clothes she gave me. After sitting on the other side of her bed, Kyelle jumped up, took a shower, got dressed, and ran down stairs with her car keys.

I received a text a few minutes later that she was going to get food, but all I wanted to do was sleep and cry, so I got under the covers and pulled myself into a ball. I hate being called baby, but right now I feel like one. The only person at school who has not hurt me just did. I just want someone to treat me right and I thought that would be Kyelle, but after this I don't know. I just never expected her to hurt me. She was the one to always protect me and now she's choking me out and cutting me. I know she did it thinking I was her step-brother who did unmentionable things to her, but all I want to do is love her. And the worst part to me is that I can't let her see how much she's hurt me and I can't turn down the extent of my love for her.

I started crying thinking of how I looked in the mirror, I mean I know everything will heal, but the act of doing this and the memory is not going to just fade away. But everything's fine, I have to act like everything's fine once again.

I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up to Kye staring at me with two to-go plates and a drink in her hands.

"Ummm...the forks and stuff are inside the to-go box and I got you tea... umm if you aren't hungry I can just put it in the fridge, but you need to eat or drink something." She gave me this look of concern, so I took the food from her and ate.

I'm not even hungry right now and it's a shame because she got me my favorites. I honestly, just want to stay in bed and just cry my life away. I know this may seem over dramatic, but Kye was the only person in my life to not hurt me and then she does this. I have to go to school with all these scars on me like people weren't already talking about me and trying to pull me down. I don't think I can deal with this. I hate feeling like this, just so vulnerable and incomplete.

I didn't realize I was in fetal position crying my eyes out until I felt myself being pulled onto Kye's lap with one arm around me and the other massaging my scalp to calm me down. I want to crawl in a hole and die. I mean, no water, no food, starvation.

"Bea, Bea, Beatrice, holdup umm... please, please drink something." I looked up at Kyelle and everything was shaking, I was shaking all over and crying so hard that I could barely breathe. I could slowly feel panic setting in as I felt my lungs deflate.

"Shit, Baby, fuck, I know you hate being called that, but please drink this and just breathe...just focus on breathing for me please." Kyelle was crying as she passed me the rest of my tea. I was shaking so violently that I could barely hold the cup. I was scared, I was out of control and scared because of it. Kyelle put her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. The pressure stopped me from shaking and when I did she quickly poured some tea in my mouth.

"I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I promise I'll make it all better. I promise I will not let anyone even myself hurt you." She massaged my scalp which was sending me to sleep, so she put me under the covers and was leaving away before I grabbed her arm.

"I love you and I need you right now, please don't leave me." I felt the tears about to fall, but Kyelle just went to the other side of the bed and pulled me into her warm body as I drifted off to sleep.

Kye

I woke up at around 2 am and looked down to see Bea still wrapped in my arms. I looked at her arm and saw that the scars were healing, but they were still very visible. I don't think I'll ever to be able to forgive myself for hurting her like I did. Like how can you hurt someone that you are supposed to love? And not only did I hurt her, but I broke her. I had never seen her so vulnerable and broken before. Bea is always happy and confident and I just wrecked that for her. And then she says that she loves me? How can she love someone that has hurt her like I did?

I took the cover away from me and just looked at her body. I wanted to kiss every scar until it healed completely. I knew that it wasn't possible and that she was still hurting no matter how much of a brave face she put on. I covered her back up and just stared at my ceiling.

Why would I do something like this to Bea when I love her so much? Maybe I don't love her as much as I thought or just not enough?

I turned my head to see Bea looking straight through my soul.

"Can you stop thinking so hard? I can feel the heat radiating off of your body. Your brain isn't use to you over thinking this much."

I was a little offended because I do think sometimes, but she was right.

"Go back to sleep so I can go back to sleep Kye. Close your eyes."

She slapped her hand on top of my eyes and before I could take her hand off I was out like a light. The next thing I know the sun is out and Bea is ...