Anything But Perfection

Prologue

"Why are you leaving me?

He wrote, I do not know how to live.

I do not know either but I am trying.

I do not know how to try.

There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them and let them hurt me instead."

- Jonathan Safran Foer

                                                                           -----

I can do this. How hard can this be?

Really hard.

I closed my eyes tightly, balling my hands into fists. My heart was beating frantically like I had been running and my breathing was hitched. Except, I wasn't running in a Marathon or racing my best friend to the end of the road. I was going to be interviewed by people in expensive suits at the head of a large and rather intimidating company. Simple, right?

I had spent half of my morning practicing my lines, what I was going to say and how I was going to act really sophisticated. But it seemed like none of it was going to work. I had even done my hair up to give it that effect, you know? 

Moving to a new city is always hard -especially for someone who has a hard time coping with changes. Someone like me. I hated changes. Whether it was changing schools when I was younger or changing cities. It was all the same to me. The worst part was that you had to leave your old life behind, your friends and your family; and move to an entirely different, alien city. So naturally, when my mother had suggested I move to a new city, and make something of myself and socialize -which I hardly did -I had hated the idea.

New York is a beautiful city, very much alive whether it is day or night. Even though I had lived there all my life, only to move when I was in high school because my Dad found a better job in Seattle. I wasn't really keen to move but I didn't have a say in it. I wasn't eighteen then. It had been really difficult for me. Leaving my friends behind. But then after my parents got divorced, I packed my bags and moved back to New York because I didn't want to face the reality. Everything had changed.

Everything.

My friends, gone to different colleges and universities. It wasn't the same. So now I was yet again in a new place, about to interact with new people and find a new home.

I had already found one. A cozy apartment with two rooms, a kitchen and a lounge. It was enough for me as I was going to be living alone. I wasn't worried about living alone at all. I liked loneliness. I had always preferred solitude, but every once in a while I was a crazy person, who loved going to parties and hanging out. I hadn't done that in a long while. However, that was going to change now. 

 I observed my surroundings as I walked down the hallway of the building, my black heels clicking against the floor. The interior was well decorated, with nice staff and good people. Except for a really weird guy who had idiotically bumped into me and disappeared without an apology. He had red hair, not the natural kind but the crazy, bright and screaming kind. I wondered what someone like him had been doing at a professional place like this.

Maybe this wouldn't be so hard. I was never really good with interviews but I intended to stay calm and act professional.

The floor was white marble and there were expensive paintings here and there on the walls. The walls were painted a light brown color, which looked really nice even though I hated the color brown. It just gave me a weird feeling, never knew why.