It's a Love Story ~carl grimes book~

Chapter 13

What has this world become?

     You haven't left the infirmary since Ron's death, and Carl's eye incident. You're too afraid to leave his side, after everything that's happened. You didn't want to face the damage that was done outside these four walls. You want to be here when he wakes up, so you can comfort him if he needs it. You haven't slept in almost four days. Rick has also barely left Carl's side

"When do you think he's gonna wake up?" he asked

"Maybe tomorrow?" you giggled

"Yeah" he chuckled "Maybe tomorrow" he mumbled "Y/n"

"Hm?" you hummed closing your eyes

"You wanna know something?" he asked

"What?" you said opening your eyes and making eye contact with him

"Carl, he uh-" he paused "He loves you"

"I know he does"

"Did you really love Ron?" he asked. All you could do was pause and ask yourself that question. Did you really love him?

"Of course I did" you said

"But, you didn't cry when he died, you barely even reacted" he said

"Rick, I don't cry anymore. In fact, all I really feel anymore, is anger, and hatred. Yes, I love people, and I get upset when I lose them, but something I've learned, is you can only take five minutes to mourn. Then you have to keep moving forward.  You can't get hung up on people that you'll never see again. That's just how it works now. Five minutes, and move on" you said, staring straight at Carl

"If you can only take five minutes, then why have you been holding his hand for the past four days, not sleeping for the past four days, not even eating, y/n?"

"Because he's not dead yet" you whispered 

"Here" Rick said handing you Carl's sheriffs hat "He'd want you to have this, even if he ain't dead" You just looked at him and he placed the hat on your head and it fell onto your forehead 

"I think it's a little big" you giggled

"Yeah, Carl's got a big head" he said

"It was yours before it was his"

"How did you know?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows

"I knew you were a cop, Rick. My dad, he was a sheriff too, before he died. You carry yourself the same way he did, you're authoritative the same way he was, you talk the same way he did. You do everything the way he did. You remind me a lot of my dad, and I admire you for that"

"How old were you?" he asked

"When he died?" you asked, Rick nodded "Eight"

"How?" he asked "If you don't mind" he added

"He died on the job. He was working on a drug bust. It didn't end well for the dealers or the sheriffs. They shot at each other and only one police man made it out. He was my dad's partner"

"I had to kill my partner" he said

"Why?"

"He'd gone psycho. He had an affair with my wife, Carl's mom. Judith is his, I think. I wish she wasn't, but there's no way to confirm it. He was tryin to kill me, and I couldn't let that happen, so I ended it for him"

"Wow" was all you could say

"Listen, I'm gonna go home, take a shower, and relax a little bit. You should too. You're welcome to stay with us, if you want. I'm sure Judith misses you too"