SOLDIER ─ marvel

I. The Man In The Mirror

Chapter One
Bucky

I wince as I accidentally cut into my skin, setting the razor down and grabbing onto a towel to stop the bleeding. I'm almost halfway done with shaving my beard, and I've come to the conclusion that shaving is painful and difficult no matter what decade you live in.

Shuri gave me this very technical and advanced razor that took me about forty minutes to understand. I've been trying to keep quiet as I've conquered this frivolous task because I don't want to wake Lena up. She's still recovering from dealing with Analiese Remington nearly two weeks ago. Her bruises and injection marks are gone and the slice on her leg is barely visible, but she's still been really tired and goes through periods of dizziness and nausea. Shuri says it's normal, but it still has me concerned.

I finish off the rest of my beard with no more injuries, deciding that overall this was a success. Now it's time for the hair. I've cut my hair before, but only blunt cuts when my hair gets a bit too long. My hair has reached past my shoulders and I have no idea how to get it to the length I want without it looking like a three year old did it.

I begin cutting it anyways, hoping for the best. After all, most of this haircut will be simple, that is until I get to my ears. I cut away at my hair and try not to think about the last half of the haircut, trying to be as quiet as possible.

But Lena has extremely advanced hearing, so no amount of caution will ever truly work. I'm not surprised when Lena appears at the bathroom doorway once my hair has been cut just above my shoulders.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." I tell her.

She shakes her head, leaning against the doorway as she crosses her arms. "You didn't...I couldn't sleep. I had another dream."

Ever since dealing Remington, Lena has been having nightmares. She has nightmares pretty often, about Thanos, HYDRA, and all manner of horrors from our past, but the nightmares she's been plagued by are the days of her training; the things that had been done to her, the things she was forced to do, and of course, Julian.

She glances down at all the hair on the floor and then back up to me, giving me a curious smile. "Why the sudden need for a trim?"

"Not just a trim, I'm cutting it all off."

Lena walks forward and wraps her arms around my waist from behind, kissing my bare back. She then leans her head right between my shoulder blades, murmuring to me; "I hope you aren't just doing this because I said I like you with short hair."

I let out a low chuckle, setting the scissors down and placing my hands over hers, looking at my reflection in the mirror, letting out a sigh. "Khari told me when we got back from Greece that I need to look in the mirror and learn to love who I see. But I can't even see myself under all this hair."

Lena lets go of me and reaches toward the sink to grab the scissors, my mother's wedding ring on her finger, sparkling from the reflection of the mirror. I smile every time I see it, just like I smile whenever I see Lena.

"Ramonda cut my hair for me and she talked me through it as she did it. Want me to help?"

I nod, letting her guide me over towards the edge of the bathtub and sit me down. I watch her run her fingers through my hair with one hand and hold the scissors in the other, her voice above a whisper as she directs me to stay still.

I watch her as she gathers sections of my hair and begins cutting it. Her eyebrows are knitted in concentration, her hands steady and unwavering. Her calm demeanor is certainly comforting, her voice is even more so as she asks; "Do you want to start looking for a house?"

"A house to live in?"

"Yeah," She replies with a small smile, the scissors gliding past my ears as my hair length lessens even more. "Alex and Khari got a house when they got engaged, and now that we are I think we should too. Wouldn't you like a place all to ourselves?"

I feel a grin spread on my lips, shutting my eyes as she cuts the strands of hair closest to my face. "I would love a house for you and me...maybe a kid or two as well."

I don't have to have my eyes open to know that Lena is smiling. "Perhaps Khari can help us when he and Alex get back from their honeymoon. He found their house very quickly. I definitely want to live close to the city, not too close to the border and not in Jabariland."

"I agree. Once we find a house we like I'll make one of the rooms into a dance studio, so you can dance whenever you'd like."

I peak my eyes open to find Lena smiling to herself, her cheeks rosy from blushing. "We'll have to work out some way to shop for furniture and decorations. You can't exactly come with me to Ikea or Hobby Lobby."

"I'm sure whatever you want I'll like."

"We have to have at least two bookshelves in the house, one for books and one for records. I want to start collecting records like my parents used to. Oh and I want a record player, which is a given. Actually maybe we should get a third bookshelf for movies we buy."

I let out a soft chuckle. "You've given this some thought."

Lena's hand brushes over my forehead to wipe away access hair before she resumes cutting, the sniping sound of the scissors returning as she replies; "Of course I have. I've planned what my future home would look like ever since I was little. It's always been something that got me excited, the idea of having my own house. It's even more exciting knowing that I get to share it with you."

I'd kiss her if she hadn't ordered me to stay still, but thankfully I don't have to for much longer. A moment or two later Lena steps back to admire her work, a smile spreading across her face, one filled with pride. She sets the scissors down on the sink and gestures for me to get up and look.

I make my way towards the mirror and let out a laugh. She did a really good job, way better than I could have done. My hair is neatly cut and styled like it was back in my own time, back during the war. I certainly look like I did back then, but I'm nowhere near the same man. I know that I'm not ready to love the man I see in the mirror, but I've taken the first step today and that's what counts.

"You look very handsome, Sergeant Barnes." Lena says, bringing her arms up and linking them around my neck.

I wrap my arms around her waist and lean my head down to touch hers, a teasing edge to my voice as I ask; "More handsome than Rock Hudson?"

"By a long shot, but I think James Dean just beats you by a hair."

I raise an eyebrow her way. "Is that so?"

She nods, trying to keep herself from laughing. I glance towards the bedroom and let out a laugh, placing my lips on hers and picking her up. She kisses me back and runs her fingers through my now short hair, caressing the strands gently as I pull back from her, locking my hands under her legs.

"I'll just have to change your mind." I tell her.

"I'm ready to be persuaded." She replies back, placing her lips back onto mine as I lead us back towards the bedroom, leaving the scissors and chopped off hair behind.