Our Love is God

Willow Tree

(viewer discretion advised)

(flashback dream)

Alastors POV:
"P-please," he begged, "Please spare me! I can't take this pain!" I looked at the man's pale face, watching the blood drip off him. "You think you have it bad right now?" I asked him. The only thing I got in response was a sob. His steel grey eyes looked up at me, pleading for me to release him. "Sir, please! I've made mistakes in my life but I don't deserve to die for them," he shouted in a desperate plea. I walked over to a metal table, and grabbed a large knife. I heard an audible gasp as the man looked at the knife. I turned around to face him, and brought it close to his face. I could see him shaking at the sight of it. 

"Mister please... I have kids!" he trembled out. "So, you're not alone. You don't know what real suffering is like," I growled at him, "I hate myself every day for what I did to her. Every day, I wish I hadn't done that. I don't like who I am..." The knife trembled for a split second before I recovered myself. I dragged the blade across his cheek, drawing crimson blood from it. I licked his blood off the knife. "Every day I fight the same thing every day. I don't know where it went wrong with me. After what I did to her, there's nothing good about me anymore." I thought of Mary with her beautiful golden-hazel eyes, her porcelain face, her soft dark brown hair... I felt my eyes well up with tears, but I kept the smile on my face.

 The man looked at me with something like pity in his eyes. That pity infuriated me. I raised the blade, and brought it down upon his steel grey eyes. I didn't cut deep enough to get to his brain though. He had to suffer just as much as me. I ripped up one eye, then the next until the only thing left was blood and shreds of white and grey. He screamed as the blood ran down his face. "Everything that I ever cared about, everyone I ever loved, the one person who loved me..." I stuck the blade in his mouth. "I have NOTHING!" I shouted, slicing out his tongue. He let out a choked gargle as blood filled his mouth. He was unable to swallow, and started to suffocate. "NO-ONE!" I screamed in his face, slicing his side open. "It's all gone," I trembled out. Rage filled me and I stabbed him in the stomach with the knife, twisting it around in him. "Ruined, turned to shit, or dead," I said, pulling the blade out of him and stabbing him in his throat. "I have never been more alone!" I held his chin up with my hand as he took his final breaths and looked into his eye sockets. 

"That's the last thing you'll ever hear," I chuckled, "Your killer crying about his problems. Good thing you'll never tell anyone." The last noise he ever made was a small, squeaky groan. I threw his face down and started sobbing. This had been the first kill after Mary died. I hadn't killed anybody for a year because of my grief.

 I got up, changed, and walked to her grave. She was the only kill that I buried instead of ate. I walked across the fields to that weeping willow tree. "I'm sorry Mary.. I'm really sorry... I regret it every day. The pale light flowed through the hanging branches and dappled the ground with spots of shimmering sunlight. A light breeze came through the air, tousling the leaves into a playful twirl. A flock of black-capped chickadees sang in the tree, adding a light melody to the beauty of the area. My body began to shake as tears flooded my eyes. 

"I wish you hadn't come down there Mary.. I wish you hadn't had to see what I am," I said, my voice breaking. I dropped to my knees, tears dripping off my chin. "I still think about it you know... I still regret it every day. These voices won't leave me alone. They made me do it... They made me kill you. I beat myself up about it every day. I know you wouldn't want me to but I just- I just can't help but.." my talking was interrupted by a sob. I removed my glasses and wiped my eyes. I looked at the ground, my shoulders slumping slightly. "You were the only good thing about me. Before you, I didn't think I could love, or that anyone could love me. Before you, I had no purpose. I had no direction in life other to kill.. But you changed that. You made me forget who I was. You made me forget that I'm a killer. Now that you're gone, all I can do is survive, even though my spirit died with you. You were my soul, Mary. I hope you knew that," I said, sniffling. 

I got up, and walked to the base of the tree. I sat there, and cried for hours. By the time I finally raised my head, night had fallen. I wiped the tears off my cheeks, and put my glasses on. I saw several small dots of blinking lights. Is this a dream? I rubbed my eyes, and looked again. The blinking lights flew through the air gracefully as if pulled by strings. The lightning bugs are out again! One of the beautiful insects slowly glided past my face so closely I could almost see the delicate wings that kept it aloft. A soft smile spread across my face as I remembered how much Mary liked lighting bugs. I could almost see her dancing barefoot between them. Even a year after her death, that woman brings forward so many emotions. I leaned back against the trunk and watches the lightning bugs, relishing in the good memories of our times together. I knew I would never love anybody else the way I loved Mary, but I had the memories. And that was good enough for me.

A/N: Sorry for dying for a short time... There is a major reference to some audio that I found on youtube. See if you can name it! I don't know how, but I got the firefly idea from the song The Kids Aren't Alright from FoB... Don't ask, because I can't answer... Anyways, I'll attempt to update more often. Peace out my little demons!