Broken - Reader x Kurt Wagner - an X-men fanfiction

8 Guilt

Kurt quickly caught up with (Y/n) who was walking very quickly back to her room. Kurt thought about the reaction Charles had, making him uneasy. Nothing gets the Professor like that anymore so it must've been something really bad, which made him worry even more. Once they got to her room (Y/n) sat down on her bed and Kurt sat on the floor next to her, using his tail to close the door.

"(Y/n)."

"Yeah?"

"What did you do?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What did you have to do and why did Charles react like that?"

"Oh, Kurt... I can't... I-"

"You can tell me anything, please."

"It's not important."

"If Charles acted like that, I'd say it is."

(Y/n) thought about how to tell Kurt... could she tell him? How would he react? (Y/n) and Kurt had an amazing relationship, they told each other everything and worked through things together. However, rearranging her mind was something she did herself, she didn't tell anyone because she knew that they would disagree and try to talk her out of it. Everyone truly thought that (Y/n) was getting better and with the company and help of her friends she was, but rearranging her subconscious was a step she felt necessary so that others wouldn't worry about her as much and she could have mostly restful nights. There was nothing that anyone could do to match the effect locking away memories had.

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to get mad."

"I promise, mein Engel."

(Y/n) took a deep breath and started to explain.

"What did she do Charles?"

"She completely rearranged her mind, her subconscious is organized with scaffolding and she has certain memories locked away..."

"What did you see the second time?"

"All... all of what she's built crumbling down. She screamed internally and it started... started to kill me... We have to find a way to undo what she's done to herself. If any of that falls we'll have much bigger problems on our hands..."

"How could we undo it? If she did it herself then she's the only one who could fix it... but if she did it herself that means that she thinks she knows it's what she had to do..."

"Hank, we have to try. If that scaffolding falls, it will be much harder to repair."

Charles then left Hank's office. Hank sat back down in his chair thinking about what Charles said and saw. "If she rearranged her own mind to the extent he said then she might be even more powerful than we imagined... it might be worse than Jean..."

"So you completely reorganized your subconscious?"

"Yes... it's what I had to do. Kurt, you help me so much, and just being here is also helpful... But I had to do it."

"Why didn't you tell me about this? When did you do it?"

"I couldn't tell you, you would've tried to get me to not do it, everyone would've... I did this the day after we had our first kiss."

Kurt took a deep breath, he promised not to get mad and he wasn't, he was just confused. "How did you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"How could you rearrange your mind to the extent that you did?"

"I just... did... I truly don't know how. I had an image in my mind of how I wanted to hide away certain memories and keep others. I locked away the memories with my parents and my powers, and restrained the others, leaving only the ones I wanted to roam freely."