Mofo Crazy Love

Nicolas

Life is easy, you born and then you die. 

I just wished I had lived a little bit longer. I was really enjoying life. 

Dad's roadtrips. 

Mom. 

Playing videogames with Michael. 

Laughing with Katherine and doing stuff together. 

My friends. 

I can't say I am not ready for this moment. I knew it was coming, I dreamed with this. It was a bad dream that now is coming true. I guess that I decided to do something to late. 

Just when I started doing quimio this happens, it was too late and I'll be sick till I die. 

I choose badly and now a lot of people will suffer because of me. I am sorry in advance for making everybody suffer for my dead. 

I know I am about to be an angel. 

Cancer is a bitch so when you got cancer you really go to heaven. 

I just had to wait. 

Dad talked with me first, he wasn't like I told you so, he just started to hug me and cry and I never saw him crying before. He said that he is going to miss me and I said that it was a good life and I thanked him for it. I hugged him while he was tearing apart. 

At the bottom he knew this was the only way. 

Mom cried a lot, and she hold me calling me baby. I started crying because she deserves more than losing me like that. 

I am going to miss her, dirty dancing, doing her pancakes in the morning. imitating Katherine, chasing me around the house, taking care of me. Being the best mom ever. 

Michael entered I thanked him for everything, even for playing with the heart of my sister. I told him that I was going to miss him , miss playing with him and teaching him how to date. But I am going to miss him more for teaching me that life has more circles , triangles and squares about love.

Katherine entered and i was holding up for her. I needed to say goodbye to her and she would need it. 

She entered crying, she didn't ask why I didn't tell her, I  guess she decided that our short time wouldnt be used for that and that would be a trauma for a lifetime. 

-Katherine

-Nicolas, you got to be strong. 

-I have been strong for a long time, I don't have any strength left. I know you will be angry but the decisition was mine. And mom and dad respected it, so you would have to respect it too. Mom loves us, and she will need you to be strong and love her more. She will need to you to stop fighting and open your eyes, Katherine stop living in books, those are just printed lies, live the life ahead of you as I did. Living with you was the best medicine I could have asked for, you are a very good sister, I love you. I didn't say it enough but just remember that I love you and above the heavens I will continue to love you. I am sorry I didn't tell you about Michael it just sounded like those stories you like too much. Thank you for everything, I am going to miss you. 

She hugged me crying saying that she loves me, and to not worry that everything would be okay. 

I said okay just like in the fault in our stars, John Green one day you will write my story because its just as sad as the things you write. 

You own your life, so you need to live it like it's a good book, like you are dying. 

Carpe Diem. 

Seize the day while you can. 

I hugged her smiling , it's a good way to go. 

I knew my last day would be with my sister, in a hospital boring. But it's not about the places but the people.