How to Survive a Naruto Reincarnation

Step 32: You're not garbage; you're experienced recycling

We sure are lucky to have Baby on our side. He helped us evade ANBU patrols as we stealthily moved through the forest. 

So cool. 

By the way, Brother is unconscious, so it's my job to carry him, which means I'm the slowest person in the group. Hinata's a close second with a makeshift crutch. Sasuke is technically not a heavily injured person, but since he has an alarming curse mark traveling at an equally alarming rate across his body, it's probably not a good sign. 

 Everyone else is relatively mobile and has to protect us. 

Baby estimated that at our snail pace, we might reach the city before nightfall. 

Excellent! We'll be there in a few hours! 

*****

We have bad news. 

We followed the map and a compass to get to the city but we didn't see anything in sight.

I mean, the good news is that we haven't seen any other ANBU patrol groups. 

 The kids and I stopped to take a quick break while we tried to figure out why none of the landmarks were lining up.

"Oh...I see what the problem is," Shino remarked. 

"...what's the problem, Shino?" I asked with great reluctance. 

"The compass is broken." 

Of course, it is. Why wouldn't it be broken? 

Then, as if I was an idiot, Sasuke held up said broken compass to show me. 

"...thanks. I see it's broken." 

"Hn." 

*****

So with that (minor) inconvenience sorted out, we resumed walking. We had a lot of ground to make up after hours of aimlessly walking. 

"We gotta hurry, there's probably a second patrol group heading this way. They'll find us if we don't run!" 

At Baby's insistence, we did some more cardio (as if we hadn't done enough already). 

"Hold it!" 

We suddenly get surrounded by ANBU. There are like four of them visible, and many more in hiding. 

"This is not good. Most of our Chakra reserves are depleted from earlier," Shino muttered. 

"What do we do now?" Sakura asked worriedly. "We're also low on weapons." 

"Captain!" One of the ANBU yells. "There are reports of a pair of S-rank--"

And we never figured out the rest of the sentence because suddenly, the ANBU were attacked head-on. 

In response, the ANBU turned their attention to the more life-threatening issue and vanished from their original spots, just to have more weaponry thrown at them. 

"Stay low!" Baby hissed, crouching down and deflecting some of the kunai. "We gotta run while we can!"

"Oh, you guys aren't going anywhere." More ANBU stepped out of the shadows to confront us. 

Sasuke held up a defense position in the front with a kunai, glowering at our newest problem. 

"Naruto, we'll hold them off. Shino, lead the rest." 

"Aw right! Let's do this!" The only person excited and happy for more violence cheered. 

"Come on! This way!" 

But before Naruto or Sasuke could attack, the mysterious enemy took care of the ANBU for us.

"Captain, send more support! There's--aghh!" 

"Wait, hold your position--!" 

Poetically, the ANBU corpses rained down from the trees. 

"Retreat!" Someone made a tactical decision, but within the next several seconds, ANBU corpses littered the ground. 

More weirdly, Sasuke and Naruto were unharmed. Mostly. 

Okay then, who is our rescuer--oh no.

Out of the shadows appeared two Akatsuki members. 

*****

The two Akatsuki members are Good Intentions and Jaws the Jolly. 

I spared a glance at Problem Child One. 

He is completely unphased at seeing his older brother appear out of nowhere. In fact, Sasuke is very chill and very calm. 

(He's also practicing our breathing techniques, yes!) 

"I need to keep Samehada well-fed! You can take care of these kids, right? I'll catch up with you later." And Jaws the Jolly vanished, leaving us alone with Itachi. 

"Foolish brother." Itachi rebuked. "You're still surrounding yourself with these weaklings. You don't even have the resolve to kill me. Pathetic." 

"Is that your brother?" Problem Child Two asked Sasuke. 

"And, you even seek out power from others? You'll never be able to defeat me let alone master those powers." 

Ah, the curse mark on Sasuke thanks to Orochimaru and his gang. Right. 

Sasuke merely turned towards us. 

"This is Nii-san. He is an idiot."