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The next day, Dr. Mitchell and Jaden's nurse, Angela, joined us in the room. They explained that Jade would be on daily injections for a year and then could possibly get an insulin pump like Nick. But only if she maintained a healthy lifestyle and good A1Cs. They also explained how to count carbs, test her blood, recognize when her blood sugar was high and when it was low and how to treat her high and low blood levels.

Dr. Mitchell put her hand on Jade's shoulder. "I know it seems hard right now and it will never get easier unfortunately. But, you, are a very tough young woman and I know that you will take very good care of yourself and that you will jump this hurtle."

Jade gave a small smile and nodded.

I grabbed her hand and kissed her temple. She pulled away and held her knees to her chest. I knew that something was wrong but I let it go considering what Jade has been through the past week. I'd let her come to me when she was ready to talk.

I turned to Dr. Mitchell and Angela, "Thank you so much for everything. I think we know what we have to do. We'll see you at our next appointment on Tuesday," I said, standing up to shake hands with them and proceeding to exit the room.

"Great! We'll see you then ladies! Feel free to call the clinic if you have any questions, okay?"

I nodded and waved at the two women.

Jade and I walked out of the room with Nick trailing closely behind with Jade's bag and supplies. I reached for her hand and she pulled away and walked ahead of me.

Nick caught up with me and put his free arm around my shoulders. He pulled me close to him and rubbed my arm. "She'll come around Dems don't worry. It's normal for her to be like this. It's a lot to take in. Just be sure to be there to answer her call."

I nodded like I understood what he was saying, but I didn't. I didn't understand any of it: The diagnosis, the fact that she would be sick for the rest of her life, why she was pushing me away and why it had to happen to her. I wished more than anything that I could take her place. I deserved this, not her.

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4:01am

I layed awake that night. Thinking. Searching. Wondering. I needed to know why. I needed to know how. The fact that I didn't the answers to those questions killed me on the inside.

I decided that the best thing to do right now was to sleep it off and try my best not to think of it.

Then I heard an ear piercing screech. I jumped out of bed and sprinted into Jade's room. I found her on her bathroom floor, trying to open a bottle of Tylenol.

I ran over and grabbed the botttle from her. She fought to take the out of my grasp and we played tug-o-war for a while.

"JUST LET ME DIE!!! I WANNA DIE!!! WHAT'S THE POINT?" She screamed out at me. It broke my heart, but I just tightened my grip.

The pills spilt all over the floor and she just fell onto her knees and sobbed. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR??? WE ALL WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER OFF!!!"

I picked her up and placed her in my lap and placed her head on my heart. "Jaden, I love you so much. More than you will ever know. You bring me so much joy and I can't imagine my life without you. It kills me to see you in this much pain. I wish more than anything that I could take your place," I said, stroking her hair and flattening it out on her back, "But I have to believe that something good will come out of this. God put this in his plan for you for a reason and I know that it will make you stronger," I planted a kiss on her head and stroked her hair with the back of my hand, "Never, ever think that you are better off dead. You are so precious and so beautiful. You're my Jaden and I will always love you babygirl." I rubbed her back and kissed her cheek a few times.