Your Name

The Cottage at Kashi

Jade and I were looking at the possibility of sending her to camp this summer. Jade said that she wanted to go back to Canada and visit her friends. So we were looking at a camp in Northern Ontario.
It looked absolutely beautiful. It was called Camp Huronda and was set on beautiful Lake Waseosa. Jade looked ecstatic at the idea. Me, well... I was having trouble dealing with the idea of my baby leaving me for two weeks. IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. It may be a diabetic camp, but that was besides the point.
I sighed and turned to Jaden. "I don't know baby..." I began, "Two weeks is a long time and... I just I don't know."
Jade's face fell. She took my hands and looked into my eyes. "Look," she began, tightly gripping my hands in her own, "If you REALLY don't want me to go, I won't. But, if you can give me up for two weeks, I'd really, really appreciate being able to go out and check it out. It'd be SO great for me to meet some other kids with diabetes and just... Just.. HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!!!" She explained, releasing my hands and waving her own aimlessly around her head.
I chuckled and pulled her close. "Okay," I said, kissing her cheeks, "I'll sign you up..."
She pulled away and gasped. "REALLLY, MOMMA? YOU'RE LETTING ME GO?" She asked.
I chuckled and nodded. "Yes, you can go. I really want you to have fun and meet some new friends. I think it'd be a great opportunity for you."
She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
I grinned before pulling her away and looking at her with my serious face. I don't use it often because c'mon, I wanna be a cool momma.
"But," I began.
"Uh-Oh, there's always a but," She said with a frown.
I rolled my eyes before sitting down and placing Jade onto my lap so that she was turned to face me. "I just... I want you to promise me that you will tell your counselor, friend, somebody if you are ever, and I mean EVER feeling bad or you feel like cutting again, okay?" I said, pulling her ear to my heart and stroking her hair.
She nodded and held up her pinky. "I pinky promise I will momma. Don't worry, okay?" She said, wrapping her pinky around mine and kissing it gently.
This was the pinky swear that Jade and I had invented together.
"The kiss seals it tight," She had told me, "The love from the kiss holds you accountable to keep your promise."
I laughed at her innocence.
I would never do a pinky promise the same way again.
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Three Months Later (She said in a French accent)

Jaden's POV

5:00AM

I'm super excited because I get to see Melia and Rose tomorrow. I haven't seen them in almost a year so we have ton of things to catch up on.

Although chilling with my girls is gonna be super sick, the part that I'm most excited for is definiately camp. When Momma and I looked it up it looked so awesome. I seriously just wanted to teleport there.

My family used to own a cottage about a half an hour away. It brought back good memories from when Rae and I would go out on the boat with mommy and daddy. I remember this one time, daddy took us out to Rocky Point and he, Rae and I all went fishing. I caught my first walleye that day. But the best part of that day was just being with Rae and daddy. It was so simple, but it was still one that I will never forget.

I looked out of the window of the plane and a tear falls from my eye. I lose my head in the clouds... Thinking of the good old days.

I feel a warm pair of arms wrap around me and kiss my cheek. I snap out of my daze and turn and face her.

Momma frowns and puts me in her lap. I rest my head on her chest. I sniffle as she rubs my back. She gently strokes my hair.

"What's up babygirl?" She asks, resting her head on mine.

I sniffle. "I was just thinking of this one time at the cottage with Rae and my dad," I explained, wiping the stray tears with the end of my Gap t-shirt.

Momma made a pouty face before pulling my hair and gently laying it on my back. "What did you guys do that day?" She asked with a small smile.

I smiled and wiped another stray tear. "It was such a great day," I began, "I caught my first walleye. It's this really big fish that lives in The Great Lakes and some smaller lakes in Northern Ontario. It's really hard to catch because it lives in between big rocks and more towards the bottom of the lake," I explained. I laid my head back on Momma's chest and she wrapped her one arm around my waist. She played with my hair and placed a few strands behind my ear.

I sighed and looked down. "I remember how proud my dad and Rae were of me when we pulled it up," I smiled at the memory, "There used to be this picture on the mantle of us holding it up. It was so massive," I chuckled and outstretched my arms so that Momma would have an idea of how big it was, "Me and Rae threw it back in as soon as my dad had caught the picture. It was SO heavy and slippery."

I laughed and Momma smiled.

She pulled me into her arms and pet my hair.

I sighed. I would never share moments with them like that again. I would never see the orange-tinge that stained Kashi Lake . Rae and I would never get to go canoing down to Hiker's Point. I would never feel the warm water splash onto my face as daddy tossed me in. I would never feel mommy's strong arms around my waist as we read Chicken Soup For the Mother and Daughter's Soul curled up with a blanket on the back patio. We would never sing along to Peter Gabriel, The Eagles or Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers. I would never hear mommy laugh as I did my best impersonation of Hootie from Hootie and The Blowfish. But worst of all. I would never get to play Name on the guitar while daddy and Rae sang. I would never get a request for an encore by mommy.

I had brought my guitar to LA with me and I had brought it with us today. The only problem is that I haven't been able to look at my guitar since the night that I lost them. Momma had asked me to play for her a couple of times and I had said yes, but I never ended up playing for her. I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It hurt too much.

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I blinked, allowing a few of them to gently roll down and onto my cheeks.

Momma rubbed my back and held me tight. "Try and get some sleep okay baby?" She said, resting her head on my own, "It'll make you feel better."

She kissed the back of my head and let her lips linger there. She then rested her chin on my head and then looked down at me. She lifted my chin so that I was looking her in the eye. "Before you doze off on me," She began, "I want you to promise me something while you're away at Camp."

I gave her a confused look. "What's that?" I asked, sniffling and wiping my tears with my wrist.

She raked her long finger nails through my hair. "Catch me some'in," She said, wiping my tears and giving me a smile.

I smiled back and chuckled. "I will," I held out my pinky, "I promise."

She wrapped her pinky around mine and I kissed them.

She smiled and opened her arms for me. I willingly fell into them. She wrapped her arm around my waist and held the back of my head with the other.She rested her head on mine and kissed me.

"Dormia hermosa. I love you my baby," She whispered.

"I love you too Momma," I said with a smile.

I closed my eyes and cuddled into her chest. I could hear her powerful heart beat pounding inside her chest. It was so soothing. I didn't fall asleep. I just kept my eyes shut and listened to Momma's breathing and the powerful rhythm of her heart beating away in her chest.

I hadn't felt this calm and secure in over three years.