The Lucky Lofter

ch || 29

Today's Reya's big day and I couldn't be happier for her. I hope that Taylor and I will also be able to share this day in the future. I haven't talked to her since she kicked me out she hasn't tried to reach out to me or anything. I'm going to take Reya's advice and try to fix things.

I'm on my way to Taylor's flat, in hopes of fixing things and hopefully getting her to leave the flat and come to the wedding with me. I still had the key to her flat so I just let myself in. I mean, technically I still live here, all my stuff is here.

Almost instantly, I was greeted by my babies. I've missed them so much. Olivia ran up to me as soon as I walked in, I picked them both up and snuggled them up to my face, "Aww, I've missed my girls so much!" I looked over to their food and water bowls, they were empty. I put them down, "When's the last time you girls ate?"

I rushed over to where Taylor kept the cat food and filled up both their bowls. I also filled up their water bowls, and they immediately went to eat. Poor babies, they're eating like they've been starved, "Where's your mum?" I asked because the flat seemed relatively quiet.

I walked over to our–Taylor's–bedroom and she wasn't in there, I also checked the bathroom and she wasn't there either. I checked the music room and the guest bedroom where I stayed after Ronan passed away, not in there either. Where else could she be? Oh my god, I know where she is.

I quickly rushed back to Taylor's bedroom and slightly opened the door adjacent to the one that was for her bedroom. There she was, rocking aimlessly in the rocking chair we chose for the nursery. She was still wearing the same clothes as she did at the funeral. She was holding a teddy we got for Ronan, holding onto it for dear life.

I fully opened the door and was instantly hit with the smell of alcohol. It reeked, "What are you doing? Have you been drinking in here?" I covered my nose with my arm. I got no response, she stayed in the same position, just staring at the floor.

I looked around, in search of the alcohol bottles and that was a bad idea. Seeing the room in its entirety, made me want to cry. Taylor and I decorated and chose everything in this room together. Without the opinion of anyone else. We were so excited to bring Ronan home and show him his little room. I felt like I had just been crushed like a fizzy drink can.

I looked back at Taylor, still no response or any signs of a person behind the body, "Taylor, why are you in the nursery? That'll only make the pain excruciatingly worse," Again no reply. I saw her moved though, she hugged the teddy tighter. It pained me to see her like this, she doesn't even look like Taylor anymore. Her eyes were big and puffy, her skin was very pale, her hair was no longer straight and golden blonde but rather curly and a faded blonde, and her face was so lifeless. I went up and kneeled next to her.

"Taylor, I'm sorry for not coming any sooner. I really am. You said you hated me so I thought you didn't want anything to do with me. I was drunk for two weeks and couldn't bare coming back. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. I love you, Taylor, with my entire being. I want to be with you, I want us to get through this together. I want to try and fix this, I want to live here again with you and wake up beside your beautiful face every morning and have your face be the last thing I see before going to bed," tears began forming in my eyes.

I got no response or reaction out of her. It's like it went in through one ear and out the other. It hurt, I just poured my heart out to her and it's like she doesn't care. I want to fix our relationship but I don't know how that'll be possible with only one party participating.

"I, uh, called one of my best friends on my birthday. Her name is Reya, she's, um, she was my best friend for four years. I met her through you actually, we were both fans of your music. I called to catch up, and um, she invited us to her wedding. It's today, we should go. It's in Connecticut, a super pretty venue. It'll be good for us to go outside and take a little road trip, get away from the New York scene for a night. What do you say?" I asked nervously.