All In For Fitz

Chapter Twenty Six

*Five days ago*

"Where are you going?" Parker asked me as Alena and I stood in the elevator

Parker was currently in Shangai and it was ten in the morning there and it was ten at night here. In four short days he would be back in the states after being gone for more than a month.

Long-distance sucked but we made it work.

"Alena and I are going to run to the corner store to get some snacks for our girls night in." I somewhat lied to him, "I know you probably have a meeting to go to so I'll let you go. I'll text you when I'm going to sleep."

He nodded, "Alright, I love you."

"I love you. Bye Parker." I ended the call

Alena just stared at me, "You're not going to tell him?"

"I'm having a scare and it might be just that. I don't want to worry him when he's across the ocean." I explained myself to her

I took a deep breath.

I hated being in this position. I felt very anxious and scared.

Out of all of the times I could've been having a pregnancy scare, I didn't want it to be when I was only twenty-one years old.

Yet here I was.

Alena walked into the store with me to buy a stupid test after I'd been nervously pacing for the whole week.

"I hate this." I mumbled as we stood in line to check out, "And I thought buying Plan B was embarrassing."

"Well didn't you take that?" Alena questioned me and I gave her a nod, "Maybe all of the hormones in that just made you late."

I nodded my head, "You're right. Yeah, it's probably just that."

We took the test and our ice cream and headed back to our apartment.

Alena held the test as I sat nervously on my bed.

I was usually never one to pray but I was praying to whatever God was up there to not let me be that p-word.

At twenty one years old I had so many plans.

I wanted to travel, drink lots of alcohol, party, dye my hair impulsively, I didn't want to be somebody's mom. I had so much life left to live and this is not how I wanted adulthood to kick off.

I heard the gasp leave Alena's mouth and that droopy eye expression gave me the answer.

She handed my the tests.

There it was two solid lines on all three of the tests.

My heart dropped to my ass.

I watched all of my dreams, vacations, and plans disappear right in front of me.

"Oh my god." my voice trembled, "What am I going to do?"

"You have to tell him." Alena advised

I looked at her, "I'm not about to tell him over the phone!"

"Our families freaked out when they thought we got married in Vegas, what are they going to do when they hear I have a fuckin' fetus in my uterus?"

"I mean right now it's an embroyo." she tried to make me feel better

I shook my head as I began to cry, "It was only one time before he left and a couple other times. I have to finish college, I have to figure out who I am, I can't be somebody's mom!"

"My whole life I was supposed to get my degree, travel, get married, settle down, and then maybe have kids in my late twenties. I'm barely in my twenties and I'm fucking -" I couldn't even bring myself to say the world

Alena put her hand on my arm, "What do you want to do? You have options."

An abortion. I could go get an abortion without Parker knowing.

What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

But keeping that from him and living on a lie would hurt me and eventually hurt our relationship. At the same time, I wasn't ready for a child.

"I don't get it Alena. I did everything right. I was on the pill, I got the Plan Bs, I did it all by the book and I still ended up being that unlucky one percent? Why me? I'm not ready." I cried to her

She rubbed my back, "Don't make any impulsive decisions right now. You're going through a lot. Just take a few days and think about it. Think about everything."

And I did.

It brought me to where I was currently, crying in Parker's apartment.

"You're pregnant?" he finally asked me

I nodded my head as I wiped my tears, "Only about five or six weeks or so."

"How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me when you first found out?" he poured out all of these questions

"I was scared, Parker! I've only known for four or five days. You were across the country and I've had a lot of shit going on."I responded

Parker looked at a lost for words.

He would open his mouth but nothing would come out.

"I - what do you want to do? It's your body and I understand that it's your choice. You have a lot going on and I just want you to be happy. What are our options?" he proceeded to say

"I walked into the clinic, I filled out the paperwork and I got on the table. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't live with something so traumatic for the rest of my life and the fact that I was keeping it from you." I confessed, "It was going to be a lot of trauma to my body and soul and I just couldn't do it."

"And I can't carry this thing for forty weeks and feel it move just to give it up to some stranger. My heart couldn't stand it." I wanted to cry just imagining the situation

Parker put his arm around me and pulled me close, "We'll be okay, all three of us."

"It's not the end of the road, it's just a bump in the road." he calmed me down as he stroked my hair

That made me feel a little better but we still had a lot to figure out.

Where were we going to live, how were we going to raise them, how are we going to tell our families?

"Who knows?" Parker wondered

"Only Alena. I don't want to tell anyone until I'm twelve weeks. It's past the risk for miscarriage and after Lydia's wedding. I don't want her to think I'm stealing her shine or anything." I clarified

Parker held me closer to him, "I'm sure she wouldn't think of it like that. It's not like we planned on this."

"What are we going to do?" I brought the question back up, "This is a big deal. It's a whole ass human."

"Do you... do you want to get married?" Parker asked reluctantly

I sat up and looked him in the eyes, "It is the twenty-first century. I don't want a shotgun wedding. We've only been back together for ten months, I want you to ask me when the time is right and it's not right, right now."

"You're right." he agreed with me, "That was stupid to ask."

"I know everything seems scary and uncertain right now but we'll get through this. We'll figure out something." Parker went on

"Maybe I'll fly to Los Angeles every weekend or so." he said with a straight face

And to think some people only got pregnant to keep the relationship together. It seemed like it was ripping my relationship apart.