Best friends are torn apart, one moving away without explanation. Four years later, they are reunited. Family secrets and hidden letters are discovered threatening to ruin everything.
*****
When Josh moved away, he took with it everything Bonnie kne...
"Honey," Mom pleads with me, but I have no patience left anymore. "No, don't honey me, Mom, enough is enough," I scream, throwing my arms up in frustration. "I don't know what's going on with you lately, but I'm sick of all the secrets." Mom sighs and walks over to my bed. Sitting down, she lightly pats the empty spot beside her, but I choose to stand on the other side of the room.
"I kept those letters from you for a reason," she breathes deeply, closing her eyes and collecting herself. I can hear the shakiness in her voice. Something about those letters is hitting a part of her she doesn't want to show me. "There's something we need to talk about, Bonnie, something that is a lot bigger than some letters Josh sent you."
I cautiously take a step closer to her, something drawing me over there. I expected her to go get the letters and hand them to me, giving me some stupid excuse like 'she was just saving me from the heartbreak', but obviously that isn't the case. Mom is physically affected by whatever it is and despite my anger towards her, I don't enjoy seeing her this way.
"Mom, what's going on?" I ask on a whisper, taking a seat beside her on the bed. She turns to face me and reaches out, grabbing my hands in her. Her palms are faintly sweaty and trembling. I remove my hands and cover hers with mine instead, trying to calm her nerves.
"When you were little, your friendship with Josh was so incredible, but you know things were never easy between me and his mother." I nod my head slightly in agreement. Even though we were young, we could feel the tension between our moms. "Yeah?" I question, hoping she just speeds up and spits this out. "Well, there was a reason for that, a reason I never wanted you to find out, but I guess...." she sighs, "well, here we are."
"Mitch and I, we uh," she stops talking, her hands shaking so badly now I struggle to hold on to them, "we had an affair Bon. It was a long time ago and I regret it every day." My brain stutters for a moment, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. "An affair?!" I shoot up from my bed, the realization hitting me.
My mom had an affair with Josh's dad?!
"Are you kidding me?" I mutter under my breath, all feeling in my hands going numb as I drop my grip on hers.
"I still don't understand what that has to do with Josh's letters," I whisper to myself, trying to process everything and figure out how to connect the dots. I look over at Mom, and she looks completely broken. Like this secret she has been holding onto for years was slowly killing her.
"Bon, there's more." I sigh because I still haven't processed what she just told me. What else could there be? "Honey, please, come sit." I oblige, not because I'm okay with her indiscretions, but because I think I need to sit on a stable surface so I don't fall over and knock myself out.
"We had the affair before you were even born. It was a onetime thing, but we both knew what we were doing and how wrong it was."
"Not long after we were together, I found out I was pregnant."
The blood drains from my body, and I stop breathing. "Bonnie," Mom pleads with me to say something or at least react, but I can't. I just can't. The ringing in my ears taking over all other sounds in the room.
"Did you have a baby before me?" I demand, needing to know, but she shakes her head, her eyes growing wide with my accusation. "Oh no, honey, you are my only child," I frown at her because she's lost me now. How can I be her only child?
"I don't understand then. What happened to your baby?" Her eyes fall to the ground and I watch as she draws in a deep breath before looking back up to meet my stare.
"I had you," she whispers, but I hear her clearly. She had me after an affair with Josh's dad. Holy shit, she can't be telling what I think she is, right?
"Mom is Mitch, my father?!" I startle, pushing back into the headboard of my bed, needing to create distance from her. What the fuck is happening right now? I knew she was acting strange lately, but this?! I never saw this coming.
"No, Bonnie, he isn't, but we didn't know that until after he moved away."
"I don't understand then. Why keep the letters from me?"
"When Mitch told me they were moving away, I asked him to get a paternity test done for you. He didn't want to for a long time. It was a year after he left when he finally agreed." It all makes sense, but that still doesn't change the fact mom kept secrets from me, more secrets than I knew.
"I didn't want you and Josh growing closer like I knew you were if we weren't sure who your father was."
I feel numb, the reality of the situation just hovering above the surface, not yet sinking in. My Mom had an affair with Josh's dad. Is that why she was over at his house tonight? Are they sleeping together again?
"Does Josh know this?" I demand because if he doesn't, he needs to know. He deserves to know.
She says nothing, which is the loudest answer she can give me. Of course he doesn't know. He wouldn't be so kind to my mom if he knew the truth. He loved his parents and how perfect their relationship was. If he was to find out the truth, it would kill him.
"After you knew he wasn't my father, why did you still hide the letters from me?" I question because, despite the bombshell she just dropped on me, I still need to know what those letters said. I need to see them with my own eyes to believe that Josh had cared.
"I figured I had let it go on for too long. It was too hard to turn back," she shrugs and I want to scream at her.
"Where are they?" I snap. I don't want to hear her annoying excuses anymore.
"They're in the safe."
They've been in the safe this entire time. The last four years Mom has watched me hurt over Josh leaving and she knew all along that he never wanted to be away from me. She kept our friendship from me and it was hiding right under my nose.
"I want my letters." I don't leave room for argument. I get up and head to her room where I know the safe is. She follows me without hesitation, her footsteps echoing behind me as we walk silently down the hallway.
I sit on her bed and watch as she kneels in front of her safe, opening it up. Inside sits a pile of unopened envelopes, all addressed to me.
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