Back to you | ✔

36 | Chapter Thirty Six

B O N N I E

"That was amazing!" I scream as we climb out of the water. Diving with those sharks and being so close to them was the best thing I've ever experienced. They were even more beautiful up close. Josh is laughing and beaming at me; I grin back, unable to hold back my glee.

"Did you have fun?" I ask, but I'm just teasing him. When we were down there, I could feel how scared he was. He was never a fan of sharks, so being that close to them probably terrified him.

"I had fun watching you. That's about it." I chuckle and throw my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his chest. "Thank you again. That was the best date ever."

"Even better than the ice skating?" he questions, and I nod with a sorry expression, "I loved the ice skating for many reasons, but this was amazing."

"How are you possibly going to top this one?" I ask, and he grimaces. "I didn't think that far ahead," he laughs. "Maybe I should've saved this date for last."

We wander around the aquarium for another hour, enjoying all the animals we could see. "This is so beautiful," I gasp when we stop in front of an enormous take full of so many fish. The colors on them are insane; I can't stop staring. "You're beautiful," Josh says, barely on a whisper, and I scoff at him. "Are you going soft on me, Joshy?" he smirks, and I realize that I've just opened him up for some sexual innuendo.

"Don't say it," I hold up my hand to his mouth, and he kisses my palm with a grin, "I didn't even need to for you to catch my drift." Rolling my eyes, I turn my attention back to the fish swimming around in front of us. He reaches out and laces our fingers together, and we stand there for what feels like forever.

"So, are you ready for the next part?" Josh questions, nudging into me gently to get my attention. "Ready for what? I thought this was it?" I frown, what else could he possibly have planned for today?

"I mean the next part of the letters from Josh saga," I chuckle and grin up at him, "you know, holding these letters hostage is kind of mean. I should probably hate you for it."

"Yeah, but you could never hate me."

An hour later, we pull up outside my house, and I look at him, confused. "Why didn't you just park in your dad's driveway? I do know how to cross the street, you know." I cross my arms, pretending to be annoyed with him, but I can help and smile at him.

"Sorry for trying to be a gentleman, I didn't want you to have to cross the street." he mocks, laughing at me as if I was crazy for not understanding his intentions. He gets out of the car, and I watch as he rounds the hood and walks to my side of the vehicle. He points at me the entire time, silently telling me to stay right where I am.

He opens my door for me and is grinning ear to ear. "Thank you, kind sir." I curtsey, and he winks, "anything for you, my lady." We walk down the pathway leading to my front door, but we don't hold hands this time. For whatever reason, we are still uneasy about showing our affections where our parents might catch us.

I don't know if it's because we don't want to risk them tearing us apart again, but that thought is always in the back of my mind. We aren't kids anymore, though, so even if they were to try, it wouldn't work. I'm thinking at this point; nothing could keep us from one another ever again.

I step up to the door and spin to face Josh. "Thank you for today. I had a great time," I blush and smile up at him. He isn't smiling though, his face stern, not with anger, but with something else, maybe lust?

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, his jaw clenched so hard I put my hand up to his face to ease his tension. Whatever is going on inside that head of his is working overtime to torment him. "Please do," I whisper, and he covers my hand on his cheek with his own, leaning down to press his lips to mine.

There goes that plan; our secret relationship is out of the bag now. I know for sure my mom is inside watching us from her window. She couldn't help herself. She already knows how I feel about Josh, but knowing it and seeing it are two very different things.

***

"I knew it," Mom's smug expression when I step inside and close the door behind me is the first thing I see. See, I knew she would be watching us. "You saw that?? I groan, and she giggles, "of course I did, you know how I love to people watch."

I frown at her, "gross, don't watch me kissing boys," we both laugh, and she throws an arm over my shoulder. "I'm happy for you, Bon, Josh is a wonderful guy."

Being around mom and acting so nonchalant feels so foreign to me. I'm still mad at her. What she did was inexcusable, but I understand why she did it. You can't help but love who you love; the trouble is she acted on it, and he was a married man.

"Where did he take you?" she questions, "we dove with the sharks," I tell her all about our day, about the sharks, and she was rightfully upset. You could've died! She told me over and over again, but I didn't die, so what's the big deal?

I hold Josh's letters in my hand. Mom has failed to notice them, and I unintentionally try to hide them from her. The last time she saw these letters, she hid them from me, I can't let them go again. "I'm tired, I might go shower and have an early night," I tell mom, and she nods, "alright, honey, did you want me to make you something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine, but thank you."

I get up to my room and put my letters on my bed. I need a shower; I smell horrible, how could Josh even want to kiss me when I smell like this? Then again, he didn't smell too great himself. I have a quick shower, eager to get back to my letters.

I lay down on my bed and unwrap the ribbon holding the letters together. I spread them out and reach for the first one.

THREE YEARS AGO.

Dear BonBon,

Are you seriously still ignoring me? It isn't my fault we moved away, I've told you this so many times, and you still choose to ignore me?

So much for best friends, right?

You know what, screw that, you don't deserve to be called my best friend, not now and not ever. Don't come crawling back to me when you are lonely, and no one wants to be your friend.

From Josh.

Geez, he just gets angrier and angrier with me as the years go on. I can't blame him though if it was me I probably would've written worse, let's be honest. I open up a few more angry ones and finally get to one that is slightly nicer and also makes me super sad.

Dear BonBon,

I'm sorry about my last letter. I still want to be your friend, your best friend.

I just thought you liked me as much as I liked you.

School isn't the same without you around; all I want to do is see you and trade Pokemon cards. I miss doing that.

I wanted you to be my girlfriend, did you know that? I know you hate seeing me with all these other girls, but they're just idiots. None of them even compare to you, BonBon.

I just wanted you to know that.

Please write back to me soon; I miss you and your stupid, perfect handwriting.

Love Josh.

Love, he used the word Love to end that letter. He loved me, too, even back then. I grab my phone from my bed and go to type out a message to Josh, thanking him for the letters, but my phone lights up with a message from an unknown number.

"Just thought you might want to know what Josh gets up to when you aren't around."