They were inseparable. Until he left without a word. Now he's back, and the truth might destroy them.
Josh was everything to Bonnie. Her best friend, her neighbor, her safe haven. Until one day, he vanished.
Four years later, he's back and he's det...
Seriously? I think to myself. I was the one trying to call and message him all day and night, of course, we need to talk. But maybe he has a different agenda. Maybe there's something more going on than even I know.
I type out a message, a little too angrily, and hit send.
"When and where?"
There, nice and straightforward. Let's hope this time, he replies.
After school, I walk out into the parking lot to find Liv and Scott, but the only person I find it Josh. Again, he is leaning against his car, but this time with a scowl on his face. I frown. He never replied to my message, but I guess we are about to get this talk over and done with.
I walk up to him gingerly, his frown growing deeper the closer I get. "What?" I grumble because screw him. He can be mad, but he doesn't need to take it out on me. Our parents sleeping together wasn't my doing, so I don't know why he's so grumpy with me.
"Get in," he says without waiting for me to object. He slides into the driver's seat and slams his door. I stand there for a few seconds in total shock. Should I really be getting in a car with an angry guy? Probably not, but I that going to stop me? Absolutely not. I open the passenger door, throw my bag into the backseat, and slide inside.
The tension in the car is suffocating, and I so badly want to scream at him and ask what his problem is, but I choose not to. Instead, I sit there silently as he pulls out of the school parking lot and drives away. I pick my phone out of my pocket and go to text Liv to let her know I won't need a ride home, but his words break my movements.
"Why didn't you tell me you had the letters?" he grumbles, and I stiffen. How did he know I have them? I hid them before he could see them the night he came over, and I know he didn't spot them or he would've told me then.
"What?" I say because apparently, that's the only word I know today. He glares at me from the corner of his eye. I've had enough of his mood at this point. "I said, why didn't you tell me you had the letters? Did you have them the entire time, and you were just messing with me? Huh?" he accuses, and I scoff.
Does he seriously think I would do that to him? Even after everything, I would never do anything to hurt him or play games with him. Even if he deserves it. "No, I only got them from mom the night I found out about her affair with your dad," I retort, and his shoulders relax slightly, but the scowl never leaves his face.
I watch him silently as he drives. His jaw is clenched so hard I could cut myself if I traced it with my fingers. I want to reach out and touch him, so he knows it's okay, but I don't. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to feel betrayed by what our parents did. It's okay to hurt.
"Josh," I whisper. His eyes flick to me, and they soften slightly. "I swear to you I only got the letters the night you came over," he sighs, and I relax a little. "I was going to tell you about them, but then I found out about our parents, and I don't know," I trail off, closing my eyes. I don't want to think about what our parents did. I still love mom, but I don't particularly like her right now.
"I believe you, I'm sorry," he mumbles. I reach out and place my palm on his thigh. I do it to relax him, but my touch causes him to stiffen more, so I pull away. "How did you know I had them?" I ask because I'm curious. I know when I left for school this morning, they were still under my pillow, right where I left them.
"You should find a new hiding spot, BonBon, you're too predictable," he smirks slightly, and I chuckle. "Did you break into my bedroom, Josh?" I tease, and he can't help but smile, but it doesn't last long before the frown is back in place. I know something is eating at him, and I know what that something probably is, but I don't want to push it out of him. I want him to talk to me first.
"I really should get a lock on my window," I challenge, hoping to lighten the mood, but he doesn't react, so I change the subject. "Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you home." His reply catches me off guard. All of this, just to give me a ride home?
"Okay, so are we going to talk there?" He nods.
"Are you okay?" I ask, even though I know he isn't. How could he be? We both just found out something that could've made us siblings. I shudder at the thought. If mom told me that Mitch was my father, I don't know what I would do. Josh and I have kissed, but she doesn't know that.
"I'm fine," he shrugs. Now I turn and glower at him. He's playing the girl card on me. I'm fine, rarely means they are okay. "You are not fine," I retort. He shrugs me off. "What happened with your dad?"
He slams the brakes on and pulls the car to the side of the road. His anger is palpable and I push back from him, giving him space. "He admitted everything," he growls, and I stiffen. I was kind of hoping it was all a bad dream and mom was just lying for some messed up reason, but I guess now I know it's all true. Our parents ruined each other's marriages.
He turns his scowl on me, "you could've been my sister Bon. Do you know how fucked up that is?"
"I do. Why do you think I didn't want to tell you?" I scream at him. We are both face to face now or scowl to scowl; however you want to look at it. Neither of us say anything for a few minutes. We just sit there and glare at each other.
"I am so sorry that my mom did that," I break the silence and my scowl falls. I'm not angry at Josh, and I know he isn't angry at me.
"It wasn't just her, Bonnie. You know that, right?" I nod because I know that, but I can't help but feel terrible. I never imagined my mom could do anything like that.
"There's more Bon," he mumbles, closing his eyes so he doesn't have to meet my confused stare. "What do you mean, there's more?"
He turns completely in his seat to face me and reaches out to grab my hands in his. "We didn't move away because my mom was sick. Well, we did, but that wasn't the only reason."
"I don't understand?"
"Mom found out about dad and your mom," he tenses, and I squeeze his hands, keeping them laced with mine. His palms become sweaty and his hands tremble. "Mom said he had to choose us, or your mom."
"He chose your family." I sigh. It all makes so much sense now. Why they left without even saying goodbye? Why Josh and I were kept from speaking to each other? All of it makes sense, but that doesn't make it any less painful.
"Yeah," he drifts off, "BonBon, there's one more thing." I look up at him just as his eyes fall to my mouth. I start to speak, but I am cut off by his lips crashing into mine.
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