Across The Great Barrier

31

Tatlong araw na simula ng maconfine ako sa hospital but I feel like I was not hurt at all. Pakiramdam ko ang saya ko parin, kasi they never leave my side. Lagi lang silang nandito sa tabi ko, paminsan minsan nagpapalitan sila ng oras ng tulog para bantayan ako. Ang sweet lang nilang tingnan dalawa.

but I felt like something's missing..

"Amber, May bisita ka." Mama said, Napatingin ako sa kaniya na nasa pintuan, bumukas ito ng buo at bumungad sa'kin si Clyde na mukhang hindi nakatulog dahil sa itim ng ibaba ng kaniyang mata. He's wearing a white plain t-shirt partnered with a black jogging pants and a black nike slides. Bumaling ako kay Mama at tinanguan siya para sabihin na maayos lang ako, She smiled at me and She closed the door.

I looked at him and I can see a sadness in his eyes.

"Why are you here?" I asked him, sinenyasan ko siyang maupo at sumunod naman siya. Hindi niya ako sinasagot but He's still looking at me, I raised my eyebrow dahil mukha na kaming tanga dito na nagtititigan.

"J-just visiting you..." He said and I just sighed at him, hindi ko na pinansin ang sinabi niya at bumaling nalang ng tingin sa bintana.

I know how to forgive someone pero alam ko din na masyado akong marupok sa kaniya, kapag pinatawad ko na siya. Who knows na mayroon nanaman siyang plano na lokohin ako? Who knows na gagamitin niya lang ulit ako? Pwede naman siguro na patawarin ko siya ng hindi sinasabi at pinaparamdam sa kaniya 'di ba?

I may not show it to him but deep inside I know to myself that I already forgive him.

Even Xavier, I just don't want him to throw his Career just because of me. I can't do it.

"D-does it hurt?" He asked, I looked at him and his pointing my stitches.

"Time heals all wounds..." wala sa sarili kong sabi.

"Did you already forgive me?" He asked that made me chuckled.

I'm not going to tell it to him.

"Who knows? Maybe someday?" I asked him at napahalukipkip naman siya sa sinabi ko. I sighed and I looked away.

I already forgive you, Clyde.

Hindi ko kayang magtanim ulit ng sama ng loob sa'yo.

It's been 3 years and I think I need to move on. After all, tapos narin naman at wala narin naman akong magagawa. Magkaka-wringkles lang ako kapag nagpaka-stress pa ako.

"Are..you okay with Gomez?" He asked pero hindi ko parin siya tinatapunan ng tingin.

Am I really happy?

"Would you believe me if I told you that I fell inlove with you?" He asked, "And I'm still crazy inlove with you?" Hinayaan ko lang siyang magsalita, hindi ko siya pinapansin at tinatapunan ng tingin.

It will be hard for me to let him go kung titingin ulit ako sa mga mata niya.

Nakakalunod ang mata niya at wala akong nakahandang salbabida para masagip ang sarili ko.

Yes, I already forgive him pero wala na akong planong bumalik ulit sa kaniya. Ayoko na.

"Clyde.. pinatawad na kita." I said at bahagyang napabuntong hininga.