Our Real Story

Chapter 22

December 30th: 

Tomorrow was New Years Eve and I had no idea what we were going to be doing. I wasn't concerned about it either, Cameron always has a plan for one of two reasons, 1 he needs something to keeped him entertained at all times, 2 he wants to make our time together special. I got up and showered and got dressed in a black top, white sweater, black pants, black and gray cheetah scarf and brown boots. Cameron was watching tv when I walked in, "What you watchin?" I said as I climbed back into bed. "Just a movie." He said turning it off, "What do you want to do today?" He asked kissing me good morning. "I'm not sure. What haven't I seen yet,that I should?" I asked, "Well you haven't seen a whole lot because of the shoot most of the day." Cameron said, "Yeah I guess.Well what should we go see?" I asked again. Cameron grabbed out his phone and said "Well we could go to Rockefeller Plaza tonight and see the Christmas tree all lit up. 6th Avenue has some pretty cool decorations, we could overlook the Manhattan skyline with the Empire State Building, Bloomingdales has cool lights, so does Macy's, Macy's also has cool window decor. So our night can be walking all over the city looking at window decor and lights. We got Grand Central Station, Chinatown, the Flatiron Building, little Italy, We are definely going to see the love sculpture in Manhattan." He finished locking his phone again. "Well we better hurry up and grab Jack and Tay because I want to eat in Chinatown." I said walking in the bathroom to do my hair and make up, "I expected nothing else." he laughed as he left to get Jack and Taylor. 15 minutes later we were out the door in winter jackets, hats and mittens. We managed to make it to Grand Central Station, little Italy and Chinatown by lunch when we stopped at Oriental Garden. They had soo many food options is was insane, Cameron made me try random crap and I'm glad he did. Cameron has this way of making me try new things. He has helped me overcome many things I didn't think were possible, like my fear of flying or bigger things like the possibility of me being happy. When I'm with Cam my world is perfect, I'm happy and laughing, the way I used to be. We decided to head back to the hotel and swim a bit before we go look at Christmas lights over the city. We got back and put our suits on, I changed into my black strapless fringe bikini, threw on my cover up and we left for the pool. We got to the pool, it's New York City during Christmas time so it had about 15 other people there. We walked in and 3 girls came running up to Cameron and Jack. I backed up to Taylor as Jack moved forward. The girls were in tight little bikinis, had full make up on, and were all over our boyfriends. I didn't like that so much, so I went to Cameron's other side as they started talking to the guys. The blonde girl in a tight pink bikini who was very rude said to me "Just because you think your all cool shit and stuff because your dating Cameron Dallas doesn't mean you own him. You know over half of his fan base doesn't like you for many reasons. One being your 17 and he is 22,two being your ugly, three he doesn't like blondes and lastly you should just kill yourself and let someone who deserves Cameron and his happiness, have what they deserve." By the time she said that I had turned around tears in my eyes, running back up to the room. Now I know her opinion has no value to me but she said exactly what I tell myself. Battleing with myself is one thing but when you find out that your boyfriends whole fan base doesn't like you and tell you that is another. I got in the room and locked myself in the bathroom with my phone and a knife. I had never realized I hadn't been looking at my social media comments and mentions. I put in my earbuds and opened Twitter, as I read the hate comments which kept coming and coming the knife got deeper and deeper into my wrist. "You are an ugly whore who only wants his money. You should kill yourself. I'm going to kill her if this reationship goes any longer." the comments kept going. Death threat after death threat I got from his fans because they didn't want to see me with him. I started going dizzy as I slowly hit the floor. Cameron and Taylor had been yelling for me to open the door for 20 mins now, Cameron finally got in and wrapped my wrist in a washcloth. I sobbed, I screamed, yelled, I had no intention of living anymore. Cameron held me for an hour as I kept sobbing, screaming and yelling. I had no idea he was crying to, after I had calmed down a little he said "It hurts me to see you like this. I mean I know your depression was bad but this is way worse that I had thought. I thought I was helping but it turns out I was making it worse. I don't want you to believe anything any of my fans say, they just are hurting you to get to me.I dont' really like the idea of you being alone either other than like changing and that kinda thing." he finished. "This is why I drank, and why I cut, but the only difference is its not just internal anymore, it's exteranal." I said threw tears, "I'm sorry." he said as he held me close. We eventually ventured out of the room around 7, Jack and Taylor were doing their own thing so we decided to do the same thing. We went to Starbucks and got hot chocolate and just walked around the city. We didn't say a whole lot, I walked around with tears in my eyes, hot chocolate in one had and Cameron's hand in the other.Every once in awhile I would let go of his had and wipe my eyes, he didn't say anything but everyonce in while he would kiss my head. "I love you, Emily Jean Aarons and believe me when I say it." Cam said as we walked back into the hotel. Both of us had completely lost our appetite so we cuddled in bed until we fell asleep. 

December 31st:

After yesterday I wasn't up for a whole lot, Cameron managed to get me out of bed to shower and drink something, eating wasn't happening. When I get like this, I ususally don't eat, or talk, I just sit, cry and listen to music, but sometimes its so bad I can't even listen to music and for me that's saying something. Taylor hasn't left my side since she got up, I was suprised Jack had gotten her to leave last night. Cameron wasn't himself either, he usually is smiling, laughing and making jokes but ever since he saw me the way I was yesterday he hasn't been the same. I felt bad because I didn't want him to feel bad or even worse I didn't want him to pitty me. I wanted him to feel okay. I checked twitter for reason unknown and saw a tweet from Cameron "I had no idea people could be so extremely horrible to others. I was bullied and I just witnessed and protected my girlfriend from someone bullying her. The worst part is seeing her now and thinking they are right. If you are a true fan you will be happy for Emily and I in our relationship. Now you can either be happy for us or just plain stay out of our lives. I'm done with shit like this." I went over to Cameron and hugged him as tears ran down my face. "Can we be us again?" I asked him, "This isn't going away and I understand that but I do want to go back to normal." he said as he kissed my head. "I'm assuming you had plans for us today?" I asked laying in Cams lap now, "Yes, I was planning on watching the ball drop from our window and then we have a party. But if you don't want to go I understand." he said still trying to go back to normal, "No lets do what you have planned. The positive publicity will be good for our image after your tweet, which I loved by the way." I added, "Okay well we can just chill for now. We don't have to be anywhere until 11:30, so movie, cuddle, snacks and nap?" Cameron added with a huge grin on his face. "Of course." I said getting into bed, we got half way threw the movie New Years Eve while eating candy when we passed out. Taylor and Jack passed out right along with us, we slept from 2-5 and ordered room service, typical me finally eating ate chicken nuggets with ranch. "Cam, do you think we will be able to get good spots if we try and go on the street to watch the ball drop?" I asked, " Well that's kinda part of your suprise, we are watching the ball drop from a roof top of the party. It will be an amazing view of the city too." Cam said trying to hold in his laughter. "You are seriously the best?!?!?! How did you manage to do that?!?!?" I asked in astonishment. "Well Shawn is performing at a party and we all got invited to go with him. So that's the whole reason we went shopping on Rodeo Drive, one of the reasons we even came to New York for New Years. I'm actually still suprised I can still catch you so off guard about everything. For you hating suprised, you do seem to enjoy mine." he said laughing. "Yeah well you manage to give me enough time to process everything and time for me to prepare myself physically and mentally." I said, "Yeah, I forgot about mentally but I'm glad I give you enough time." he said walking away. "Where are you going, Dallas?" I said as he started laughing out the door, I ran after him, we ran to the elevator, when we got inside he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me, long and hard. Once we got out of the empty elevator we bought more candy and went back to the room. Until 10, we just sat around and watched Christmas movies with Jack and Taylor. Once 11 hit, Taylor and I started on getting dressed, "Girls we have to leave in 15 mins and you aren't even out here yet?!?!" Jack yelled threw the bathroom door, just as he finished we walked out, "Zaymm!!!" both of them said as I bent over to put my shoes on, "Dallas, quit stairing at my ass, so we can leave." I said and he just grinned as I put my coat on and we left. Once we got to the venue it was 11:45 and we said hi to all the guys and their dates and we made our way threw photographers and to the roof. We had an amazing view of the ball. Cameron had left to get me a drink, I was astonished at the view, when I felt arms around my waist, "Hey beautiful, will you be my New Year kiss?", I knew who it was instantly "Yeah I think I can arrange that." I said as I turned around to be looking into Cameron's brown eyes. "Your drink." he said as he handed me a glass, "You do remember what happened the last time we partied with the guys and alcohol was involved?" I said, "Yep we all got drunk and high.It was a pretty good party." Cameron said as he kissed me. We counted down with everyone and Cameron was my New Year kiss. We danced and partied for awhile and left around 4.