The Rise of the Divine Oracle

Chapter 92 - Past Scars

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On the way to Cloud Recesses, they planned to stop at Mianmian's house to retrieve her trolley of items and have a healing session. Before they reached her home, Wuxian was joined by Jin Ling in his carriage. The boy was oddly subdued so Wuxian stayed quiet, hoping he would initiate a conversation when he's ready. An hour in, Jin Ling looks at Wuxian, who's petting a bunny Da Ziran and asks: "Uncle, why would a person like another person?"

Wuxian's eyes widened in shock. He remembers asking his Shijie the same exact question.

He took a few deep breaths and asked: "Why are you suddenly asking this? Do you have someone in your heart?"

Jin Ling pouts and shakes his head. It was clear that the boy was lying. Wuxian smiles a little to himself, remembering that he did the same exact thing. He never got a clear reply from his sister but after falling in love and bonding with Wangji.. he knew the answer.

Wuxian moved closer to the fidgeting boy: "We are born into this world helpless. As we grow and learn how to survive and thrive, we start to crave control. We get a sense of accomplishment when we believe that things around us are a product of our doing when in reality we command nothing but our own actions. The world flows randomly like a river and the heart chooses the best companion based on your needs not your wants. Love is rare. It takes you as a slave and it has no master. The more you fight it the more miserable you will feel. If you learn nothing from my sad history, know this.. love saved me when I accepted it and I hope you find yours one day."

Jin Ling looks down sadly: "What if the person you like doesn't like you back?"

Wuxian frowns: "How do you know? Did you ask them?"

Jin Ling: "They told me that they fancy someone else.."

Wuxian sighs: "For a long time I thought Lan Wangji hated my guts. It took a very.. very long time for us both to stop fighting the attraction and lean on each other. I don't know who you want to pursue but I would be patient and vigilant. The right person that will reciprocate your feelings and deserve your love will come to you when the time is right."

Jin Ling smiles at his uncle's reassurances. He knows for a fact that the person he likes doesn't like him back. But he's willing to wait and see how things play out. Jin Ling leans in to pet Da Ziran: "Uncle, I received a message from Jin Clan Leader. He wants me back to help with leading our clan."

Wuxian frowns: "You're leaving?"

Jin Ling nods: "I had plans to stay for a few more months until your healing sessions are over but with the recent delays added.. I don't think I can stay that long."

Wuxian looks sadly at him: "I'm sorry."

Jin Ling shakes his head: "Don't be! I'm just glad you're alive and well. Yuxio has been behaving recently and she promised to not overdo it in my absence."

Wuxian chuckles: "Behaving? She puts flowers outside my door like a shrine every morning!"

Jin Ling sighs deeply: "As long as she doesn't hurt anyone.. I guess we should take it as a win."

Wuxian shakes his head: "Jiang Cheng's low standards in what's acceptable is rubbing off on you."

Jin Ling: "What can I do? One cannot choose his own family."

Wuxian nods: "True."

He leans to embrace the boy and whispers: "I will miss you. Come visit me when you have free time."

Jin Ling nodded. He left to Jin Sect the next day.

They stopped a few days before reaching Cloud Recesses at Mianmian's house. She picked up the items she left there while Wuxian had his healing session.

Wuxian was laying under a thick blanket, deep in sleep while Wangji watched Healer Shi carefully clean his broken hand.

Wangji: "When will it be fully healed?"

Healer Shi: "In a week, he can remove the splint and use his hand lightly. A month from that he can resume regular exercise."

Wangji watched her slowly move a warm cloth over Wuxian's fingers. He puts his hand up and asks: "May I?"

She smirks and hands him the cloth and switches seats with him. She watches him for a few more minutes then asks: "Treasure Wei asked me while we were in Luxia City to go look for something to remove permanent scars. I know he doesn't have any so I assume they're yours?"

Wangji didn't reply, which was the confirmation she needed. She looked him over then asked: "That was the fifth time he asked me for it since I've come to know him so I assume it bothers him a lot. May I examine your scar to determine if it's removable or not?"

Wangji didn't lose concentration on the task in hand but answered her anyway: "That will not be necessary. I deserved those scars for betraying his trust."

Healer Shi: "It bothers him."

Wangji: "I know. But there are things in life that are out of our control."

Healer Shi: "I might be able to remove them."

Wangji: "You might be able to remove the visible ones.. but my sins will remain. What is the point?"

Healer Shi sighs and whispers in a low voice: "Men are so stubborn!"

Wuxian opens blurry eyes and looks around in confusion: "Where am I?"

Wangji smiles at him: "We are in Lady Lou's room. You just finished your healing session. How do you feel?"

Wuxian frowns at Wangji: "Why are you upset?"

Healer Shi was surprised. Lan Wangji's expression was stoic as usual. How can the small man tell the difference?

Wangji: "Healer Shi informed me that it will take over a month for your hand to fully heal."

Wuxian stares at Wangji for a few seconds then says: "That's not it.."

Wangji closes his eyes in resignation: "She wants to heal my scars and I refused."

Wuxian tries to sit up but stays down when the world spins around him. He takes a deep breath then whispers: "Why?"

Wangji: "I have accepted them. So should you."

Wuxian shakes his head: "It's not fair! You don't deserve these scars!"

Wangji rubs Wuxian's arm to calm him down: "It happened. Whether you remove the evidence or not. History cannot be erased."

Wuxian's eyes water and he says in a breathy voice: "I'm sorry. I know it's my fault you have those scars and we never talk about it but.. I'm sorry."

Healer Shi stood up and quietly made her way out as Wangji wipes Wuxian's tears: "You have nothing to apologize for. I didn't trust you."

Wuxian took a stuttering breath and used his good hand to grab Wangji's wrist: "Zewu Jun suggested that I meet your father to ask him questions. I got so nervous when he mentioned it and all I could see were the clear scars on your back. If.. If you have never met me.. none of this.."

Wangji pulled Wuxian's hand from his and kissed his knuckles to stop the stuttering man. He leans into Wuxian's space to breathe him in. After a few calming breaths, he looks at the sick man in the eyes and says with a warning tone: "Never say that again."

Wuxian frowns in confusion so Wangji elaborates: "Never say anything that suggests that we're not together. Ever!"

Wuxian was taken back by the threatening tone. Wangji leans in to soothe him by rubbing their noses together: "I will gladly sacrifice my life to spend just a few more seconds with you. So please never imply regret or shame in being with me. The scars stay and I will try to hide them if they bother you."

Wuxian shakes his head: "Never hide anything from me."

Wangji smiles at him: "Very well. Now sleep. We have a long journey ahead."

Wuxian tugs at the hand holding his: "Join me?"

Wangji wraps Wuxian's broken hand gently then lays down next to him, pulling the smaller man into his chest. He whispers to the sleeping man: "As long as I have you, I will gladly receive a million scars. You're mine and I am yours."

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