The Rise of the Divine Oracle

Chapter 167 - The Fool & The Desperate

.

Zewu Jun doesn't like feeling like a coward.

It's been over a month since Wuxian had his spirit container fixed and he has healed enough to resume his duties.

Zewu Jun was looking at the list of people he's supposed to vet and let in Cloud Recesses for a healing session or a spiritual reading.

He felt guilty.

He has accepted a long time ago that humans are bound to make mistakes. He is no saint and with humanity comes flaws. He's finding out that one of his is the fear of losing trust in himself and in others.

He never had to work hard to receive Wuxian's faith in him. Watching it slip as he forcefully tries to help the smaller man planted a seed of doubt in Zewu Jun. Was he even worthy to be by the Divine Oracle's side?

Grandmaster Qiren took it upon himself to assign Zewu Jun out of convenience above all else. Heaven knows Zewu Jun has committed his share of mistakes and he has nowhere to atone for them. All those involved were dead and he was left with self pity and trepidation.

A soft knock on the door breaks his pessimistic chain of thoughts and he gives permission for the person to come in.

Wuxian steps into his room and bows before sitting in front of Zewu Jun.

He seems nervous, so Zewu Jun offers him a cup of tea and waits for the smaller man to speak first. Wuxian takes a deep breath and says: "Brother, if you have the choice to do anything you want, what would you do?"

Zewu Jun was surprised by that question: "I like where I am. I love what I do."

Wuxian looks sadly at him: "Why does it feel like you're suffering?"

Zewu Jun purses his lips, not sure how to explain his predicament to Wuxian.

Wuxian felt the silence suffocate him so he whispers: "Do you hate working with me?"

Zewu Jun's eyes widened: "NO! Brother Wei, why would you think that?"

Wuxian grabs his flute's tassel and plays with it to avoid looking Zewu Jun in the eye: "I know you did not choose to be my advisor. Father is blinded by his devotion to me that he sometimes doesn't see the full picture but I do."

Wuxian looks into Zewu Jun's eyes: "I have a better grasp on my blessing now. I sense what other people are feeling and I know for a fact that when you are near me.. all I feel are your struggles. I don't want to be the reason for your unhappiness, brother-in-bond. You don't deserve this kind of life."

Zewu Jun sighs: "I am struggling, Wei Ying. But it's not because of you."

Wuxian cuts him off: "You don't have to coddle me.."

Zewu Jun reaches over and grabs Wuxian's hand: "I'm not coddling you. I am struggling because I feel like I am failing you. I failed you with my inability to be patient. I failed you with my inability to protect you. I promised you clarity with my actions and I broke it under pressure. I'm sorry."

Wuxian looks into Zewu Jun's eyes, trying to sense his emotions: "You're scared. Why?"

Zewu Jun smiles sadly at him: "I failed the last two brothers I swore to protect. I don't want to lose you but I sense that my insecurities are driving a wedge between us. You are dear to me, Wei Ying. I don't want our connection to weaken because of me."

Wuxian puts his hand over the one grasping his: "Brotherhood is not something that can be easily swayed, Zewu Jun. Jiang Cheng pushed me towards death once.. yet I am still willing to sacrifice myself once more to see him happy."