Dramione One-Shots

Lyric Prank! Hermione to Draco

Hello

Hello. Who are you, and how did you get my number?

It's me.

Who's "me"?

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

Well then, who are you?

To go over

What?

Everything

Is this one of my friends from before Hogwarts?

They say that time's supposed to heal ya

No, medecine will.

But I ain't done much healing

So you're not a healer... ok?

Hello, can you hear me?

Buying a wizphone 1 was a terrible idea. Spammers. Wait. Is that a feature of a new wizphone? Having the texts spoken aloud to you? Sounds like an easy way to have your information stolen. Must be a useless, pricey version. Pricey. Expensive. Superior... I MUST have it. Does Potter have it? Say, do you know Potter?

I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be

Ahh... you're an Ilvermorny nut. Yankee.

When we were younger and free, I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.

I AM NO LONGER A DEATHEATER! I'm GLAD the light won, the world fell at your feet. Viva... Potter. Ugh. 

There's such a difference between us, and a million miles

Didn't know the US was a million miles away. Say, who are you?

Hello from the other side

Yankee, deatheater... crazy... bad at geography... hmm.

I must've called a thousand times

No, I just got the wizphone 1. Did I get it LATE?!?

To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done 

What'dja do?

But when I call, you never seem to be home 

Did you call Malfoy Manor?

Hello from the outside

Are you outside my manor? Are you a stalker?!? 

At least, I can say that I've tried 

An American Deatheater Crazy Useless At Geography Stalker? An ADCUAGS?!?

To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart 

Are you Astoria Greengrass? If so, sayonara. Don't tell Blaise I said hi.

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Dramatic... are you PANSY PARKINSON? If so, it's ok. Really. REALLY. REALLY AND TRULY. 100%. Please. Move on. I forgive you. 100%. Forever. Now leave me.

Hello, how are you? 

You already said hi..?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry

No no, keep talking... Tell me more. Like, for starters, your name 

I hope that you're well 

Well, yeah

Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?

... "town where nothing happened" , are you talking about Malfoy Manor? You're right, it is the size of a town. But so much happened! I became a deatheater, VOLDEMORT lived there... SO MUCH.

It's no secret that the both of us 

Are what? Mortal enemies?

Are running out of time 

Wait, WHAT? Are you trying to kill me or something? 

So hello from the other side 

As in... death?!?

I must've called a thousand times 

Wait, are you dead tho? Are you calling me... from beyond?

To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done 

You're repeating yourself, Spirit. You've already said that.

But when I call, you never seem to be home 

You're still repeating yourself, siriusly.

Hello from the outside 

So are you a Kreacher from beyond?

At least, I can say that I've tried 

To do WHAT?!? Merlin, you're frustrating.

To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart

Here we go again 

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore 

Nothing is tearing me apart! Siriusly, who are you?

Ooh, anymore

Err... anymore is a lovely word, I guess

Ooh, anymore

Ok... 

Anymore

Your point..?

Hello from the other side 

Well, hello. I feel like we've been here before.

I must've called a thousand times 

Really, now?

To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done 

WHAT ON BLOODY EARTH DID YOU DO?!? Merlin... I sound like a Weasley... eugh

But when I call, you never seem to be home 

I try.

Hello from the outside 

Ok, I give in, you must have called 1,000 times! Merlin! You keep repeating yourself!

At least, I can say that I've tried 

Well you've done a brilliant job of it, YOU KEEP REPEATING YOURSELF!!

To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart 

Yeesh, here we go again.

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Siriusly, nothing is tearing me apart.

LOL 😂 You were so confused.

What? Of COURSE I was confused, you sounded like you were singing or something, not texting... oh.

Oh wow it took you that long?!?

Well I don't text sing to random people! Speaking of which, who are you?

Hermione Granger

Ahhh... hey does that mean you've changed your mind?

Well... I guess so.

YES!! 

Oh no.

Haha, Granger is my girlfriend!!!!

🤦‍♀️ I regret changing my mind already.

😘

"Hello" by Adele

JKR owns HP, not me :..(