Praying Under Pressure

20 - Sorrow In The Sandbox

"Are you sure you're okay? We can skip the beach and say here if you want. Stay here for some more pressure?" Noel leaned against the bathroom doorframe, frowning in concern at her best friend while he applied special sunscreen for his skin.

The night had not been an easy one. Elliot went out with Ryan and Sarah, the rest of the group ordered in Chinese because Ward was too tired to fight against it. Then Noel and Ward went home and gave him the pressure he needed to lay still in bed. Not saying it stayed that way. 

Noel woke up to him shaking and whimpering his 'don't touch me' 'i don't want to' over and over. When he woke up he just clung to her. After a while, she fell asleep but Ward didn't dare close his eyes no matter how tired he felt; Lucky for him, his medication had a particular side effect of insomnia. 

When she woke up, Ward was in the kitchen on his third cup of coffee, hour-long shower, and making eggings like nothing had happened. He also insisted they go to the beach like they planned yesterday. He could probably ignore Ryan, and if he couldn't he sure as hell could get on him. 

Ward rolled his eyes, running his hand through his despite knowing it was going to get messed up in the ocean, "I'm fine. It's fine." Though pressure did sound good.

"And Ryan? Can you stand him for a day?" She wanted to say home and do anything that made it easier for Ward. Because if Elliot could cause a three day break down than Ryan had to be doing some shit to him. 

He sighed, turning off the bathroom light and turning to his friend, "Fuck Ryan. I'll never stand him." That got Noel to smile.

"He was a cocky motherfucker. Thought he knew everything about your whole life," Ward snorted as he passed her to his room. That did sound like Ryan. Noel followed him to his room.

He went about his way, packing more sunscreen and shorts for after they wash off. Noel watched him do it all, fighting the urge to ask something she can't forget anymore. He seems...good this morning. Better than the reaction to Elliot.

"Um, Ward?" He simply hummed. Then he realized she was so shy about it that something was up. So he turned around, narrowing his eyes at her, "Why didn't you tell me about Jace?"

Ward tensed. The shorts gripped by white knuckles. Jace? Ward knew Ryan was going to blab about what he had done to Jace. It was part of the sob fest. He just prayed no one brought up his older brother after last night. They didn't know about him before they can ignore him know.

Jace was not for them to choose.

"What about him?" It was a bit of a growl, unaware it even happened. 

Noel should have known this would happen. His older brother fucking died, why would he want to have a little bond session over that shit? She should have known happy Ward would fly away and replace with stone gravestone Ward.

But she couldn't back down. It wasn't what she did, "Why didn't you ever tell me about him?"

He turned away, stuffing the shorts in the backpack with far too much force, "He doesn't matter anymore."

Noel scowled, crossing her arms over her chest, "How could he not matt-"

"-He's fucking dead, Noel. He isn't relevant anymore," It was rude. A blunt bark of anger. Because Jace is fucking dead and that's where the story ends. So fucking what?

He shoved past Noel to go get waters from the kitchen. Noel scoffed, angered by Ward's brutal write off of his own brother. A close brother if the stories are right.

"What the fuck, Ward! He's your brother, he's always relevant!"

Ward tossed the backpack on the kitchen table and spun around to Noel. He growled, shoving his finger in Noel's face, "How the fuck is he relevant? Huh? Over a nice family dinner did you want me to just tell all about how I killed the only person who ever genuinely cared about me?"