Praying Under Pressure

37 - Powdered And Powered

I apologize for what you will read. I don't know why I try but I sincerely can not write smut and it infuriates me. Sorry :( And this baby will be small, sorry :(

While the world may be stuck on a tilt, it never stops spinning. 

Ward's world had always been on a tilt, sometimes so off-kilter he had no bottom or top. Though his stop could not handle it, his world kept spinning in any direction. 

After the poor fight between Andy and Tom was stopped, the table came to a somber stop. Ward still wasn't a fan of eye contact so he couldn't see their pity. Elliot never let go of his hand -not until they stood in Elliot's room, just the two before Ward left to comfort someone else.

Sheri shoved the dishes in the sink claiming to do them the next morning and ushered her family into the cramped living room. Tom squeezed Ward's bicep once in silent support that Ward preferred, then he shoved Noel off the couch and took her spot while Friends played. Andy -the oblivious idiot- laughed saying 'Shit, I ain't got no excuse to call in sick for work now, huh?'. Sheri slapped his chest repetitively but he just chuckled.

Noel tried her hardest. 

She thought she should have known. She was always the one who knew the most about Ward Baxter, the most light in the utter darkness. She knew the break downs and night terrors. She knew the tears and the bitter laughs. She knew Ward like a stained on the back of her hand. 

But she never guessed right. The man that supported her in her toughest shit went years smiling in defense towards all the shit that that was thrown his way. She never got an answer to who the hands belong to in his sleep. She never put two and two together and got molestation. 

Noel tried her hardest in all the ways. And to her judgment, she was never enough. 

The saddest part about never knowing was the fact that Ward never wanted her to know. He wanted to keep her as safe and happy as she ever could be. He accepted her blindness and encouraged it as far as he could. 

They were each other's platonic second half. Whether Ward was a little victim to the happiest pedophile in the world. Or if he was produced the loudest sex noises he could in the family bathroom of the mall while she fixed her lipstick. Whether she knew his roots or if she knew the real person making her eat healthily. No one as at fault. It was not important to their intertwining puzzle. It was not their identity and so it was not their relationship.

She managed clear eyes through the night. She sat on the side of Ward that Elliot had not claimed. She leaned her head on his shoulder while Elliot described their small town. 

When they got home together, however, neither could see through blurry eyes. They both attempted words but in the end, it was all blubber. So, without much motivation or tools, they just cried on his bed until they couldn't breathe and it was already a whole new day. It was something they needed. An apology and acceptance all in one. 

From that day, the world kept spinning. There were a handful of things that stayed the same yet there were a handful of things that changed. 

The first few days it was rough. Ward ended up screaming at them all to throw away the pity and just fucking act normal. They tried their hardest so that mattered. In the end, it took a full week to spring back into the most real and normal Ward he has ever been. Only then did everyone truly feels comfortable being normal. 

School started -that fucking sucked. But it was a nice distraction from the reality of Ward's life. It also sucked because he was too distracted to be a normal amount of distracted he was during school. Back to school essay was a shit show at best. On top of it, Elliot was away more and that also fucking sucked.