All I Ever Wanted (DISCONTINUED)

Am I In Love?

Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic, second story... so, please go read my other story, and please, if you see an error, correct me in the comments! So... yeah. Sorry if this story sucks, but... have fun (I guess... is that the right emotion for reading?)!

Virgils POV

Before, I was nothing. Now, I'm Anxiety, but you can call me Virgil, or Virge for short. My job is to man Thomas Sanders' fight or flight reflexes, to be his anxiety and to... I don't really know what else, at the moment.
But I know that there must be more. Patton is Thomas' Morality and most of his emotions. Logan is Thomas' Logic, and makes sure he isn't acting stupid. I however, don't really have many extra uses.
Now, if you're a really good fan of Thomas (aka a Fander), you may realize that I'm leaving one person out... not including the Dark Sides... I don't like to talk about them.
I think, to properly explain why I didn't explain who Creativity was, while explaining everyone else, well... here goes:

A few years ago

The first Sanders Sides video I was in, was meant to get rid of me... how ironic, am I right? But that helped me, weirdly enough. It helped me to leave the Dark Sides.
Finally, I was free from Remus and Deceit, who always made me feel lonely. They were a couple, even if they hadn't told anyone else. Heck, they didn't even tell me.
I once caught them making out, and instantly retreated to my room, the whole time thinking I don't ever wanna see that again.
Needless to say, I left my room a lot less after that experience.
So nowadays, I was far away from the Dark Sides. Now, I hung out with Roman, Patton and Logan. They were all nice.
Well... all except Roman.
He continuously called me names, which meant that I had to fight back. He called me the Incredible Sulk, he became Sir Sing-A-Lot. He called me an emo nightmare, I called him Romano.
But one day, I woke up... and was looking into his eyes.
Not actually.
The day before, he had been staring at me for quite awhile, which made me feel self conscious and now his eyes were branded into my eyes.
I could feel a blush on my cheeks, from the staring yesterday, and from imagining Romans face.
Do I have a crush on him?
Great, just what I wanted.
"What am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?!" I silently shouted to myself (don't question me... there's another Sides room right next to his!) and started having a panic attack.
Even better. Today was staring just great.
I remembered what Patton always told me to do.
"Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7, then breathe out for 8... now do it again." I quietly reminded myself, as I did the breathing. (Just so y'all know, I don't get anxiety attacks, so idk how they work)
Pattons' room was right next to mine, and as I was slowly calming down, he walked in, without knocking. I didn't mind, he was like a father who was coming to check in on me.
"You alright kiddo?" Patton asked, yawning. Obviously I wasn't shouting quietly enough. At least Logan wouldn't come, cause he hates emotions, and Princey was probably too far away in his room to hear me freaking out.
"Yeah, I am Patton... you can go back to bed," but as I said that, the tears came back, betraying me.
Patton quickly used another exercise to calm me down.
"Kiddo, name 5 things you can see," he quickly said, sitting on my bed, but not coming closer. He knew that I didn't like it when people touched me when I was like this.
"Walls, poster, you, glasses, shoes." I said, looking down at my feet.
"Great, now 4 things you can touch, kiddo."
"Wall, sweater, bed, pillow." I said, picking up a pillow and putting it in my face, but it was working. I was calming down.
"Ok, now 3 things you can hear." Patton said, still calm as can be. He was used of this, me waking him up in the middle of the night with my nightmares, or with my panic attacks. He always seemed to know when they happened. I never said anything, never calling for him, and I cried silently. I had no idea how he knew.
"You, me, my breathing." I said, my breathing slowing more.
"Almost there, kiddo. Now, 2 things you can smell."
My room didn't have a particular odour, but I could smell somethings coming from the open door. "Romans cologne, the happiness from your room." Patton looked at me quizzically, but didn't question how I could smell happiness. It was more like, I could smell his room, which always reminded me of happy times.
"Ok, one more kiddo, 1 thing you can taste."
"The bile, in my mouth."
"Great job kiddo!" I was calm by now, "but it's 2 AM. Go back to sleep, Virgil, or else you'll miss breakfast!"
"M'kay, thanks Patton."
"It was nothing, kiddo. Have good dreams!" Patton said, as he left my room, yawning.
I put on some music, to help me sleep. It worked, after maybe a half hour.
——
When I woke up, I remembered what I had been freaking out about that night. Well, technically, earlier that morning.
Needless to say, I started freaking out again.
A few hours later, Patton was calling everyone for lunch. He was the only one who could cook real food, but we all helped what little we could, mostly with the clean up.
By the time I got there, there was only one seat left. Next to Roman.
Today is just getting better and better, isn't it?
I took my seat, trying to seem normal.
"Hey, Jack Smellington, you're here. Now, we can finally eat!" Roman said, grabbing for a slice of the pizza Patton had made in the oven.
"Thanks, Pat." I said, as I grabbed a piece.
"It was no problem." Patton replied.
We ate in relative silence, except for Patton who kept trying to get us to speak. I stayed quiet, and he didn't make me talk much. Obviously, he remembered what happened earlier.
After we finished eating, Roman went to the living room to watch some Disney movie, Logan went to his room to read a book, and I started the dishes. It was my turn, after all.
As I started, Patton quietly spoke to me.
"You feeling better kiddo," he asked, scaring me, and I splashed water on myself.
"Yeah, thanks for calming me Pat." I thanked him again.
"Wanna tell me why? You don't tend to have an anxiety attack for no reason... but if you don't wanna, that's fine." Stupid reverse psychology. I was a sucker for it.
"I'll tell you later, okay Patton? Go wait for me, and I'll tell you in my room." I blushed lightly as I said it, and Patton, looking confused, walked down the little hallway.
When I finished, I went to my room, sighing.
Great, now I get to tell Patton, the only Side who can't lie and can't keep a secret for his life.
As soon as I walked towards my room, I could see Patton waiting for me. Unfortunately, he looked curious, meaning I would definitely have to tell him. I couldn't find it in my heart to lie to such a pure soul.
"What is it kiddo?" I dragged him into my room, shutting the door firmly, not wanting anyone to hear me.
"I..." I couldn't get the words out, but a blush started.
"Kiddo, you can tell me, if it'll help." Well, it might, meaning I'd have to tell Patton.
"I... I have... a crush..." I stopped, unable to continue.
"On who?" Patton asked, genuinely curious. He didn't want to tell everyone, but I knew he would anyway, since he couldn't lie.
"On.... R-r...." I couldn't say the name.
"On... Roman?" Patton asked gently. The blush started spreading lightly. I nodded.
"Oh, this is wonderful!" Patton said, hugging me tightly.
"Pat.... don't tell him, please, or even Logan. I don't want anyone to know." I blushed more, imagining Romans reaction when he heard. He'd never want to talk to me again! Oh, why Roman?! (Obviously, Virgil, it was for plot purposes, and I don't personally ship you with anyone else) That Prince would never give me the time of day.
"If you say so... but you'll have to tell him eventually, kiddo. It hurts the longer it's kept in here," he pointed to his heart. "I would know."
"Wait, what? You have a... crush on someone?" I asked. If it was Roman, I'd kill him and if it was me, I'd be forced to break Patton's heart.
"Um..." Patton blushed, and I could tell he didn't mean to say that.
"Hey, I told you mine, you tell me yours!" I said. It was only fair, after all.
"Fine... Lo?" Patton said, using Logan's nickname, that I never used. I only used nicknames when I felt close to that person... or if they were Princey, in which case it was payback.
"Really? Aw, you two would make an adorable couple!" I said, and it was true. The glasses couple. The cute and nerdy. It would be adorable to see them together.
"Do you think so? Do you think he has feelings for me?" Patton asked, not letting me answer the first question. But it was the second one that was the more pressing issue.
"Hmm... that's hard to tell, Pat. You know how Logan is with emotions... he doesn't show them, whatsoever." I had to tell the truth... I just couldn't lie to this guy!
"But, that doesn't mean no!" I said quickly, backtracking, as I saw his face fall.
"So... maybe?" Patton asked.
"Yeah, that's a maybe." But you know it's not. Logan doesn't have feelings. He's the hard truth, but at least he's better than the Duke. He uses math and science and stuff to find the answers, figuring things out smartly. Remus just lies, or says random stuff.
"So... should we tell them, together?" I asked. I didn't want to, but I could tell Patton did, and was too shy.
"Oh, kiddo, you don't need to, but if you'll be there when I tell Lo, that would be awesome."
"Of course, I'll be there for you!" I said, and hugged Patton.
"Thanks kiddo."
"No problem, Patton, just tell me when." I said.
"Of course. Now, I'm guessing you wanna listen to your music, so I'm gonna go start on dinner," he said, looking at my alarm clock, that I used as a clock, because the one on my wall was just there to freak people out. It worked. That's why Princey and Logan never came in. The continuously spinning clock face had freaked them out... or maybe it was me who freaked them out... either way works.
"Dang, it's already 4? I though just a minute ago it was 1 PM and I was doing the dishes..." Patton shrugged, probably not knowing how to answer, and left. I put on my music, and tried very hard not to think.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Just so you know, I don't usually write them this long... this one was practically double my typical length of 1000 words... so... yeah. I actually meant for this to be about when they first met, but... oh, well... it's 5 AM right now, so... I'm just gonna start writing the next part. Hope you liked it!