1983 c.h. (au)

13: irwin party

Charlie found herself watching Ashton practice his twerking while listening to the gayest playlist possible. She hasn't attended one of his Irwin Parties in a while. To be completely honest she missed Ashton. He came back sweaty and tired from twerking so much and Charlie laughed at him for actually giving it his all. "What the hell was that?"

"That was you enjoying my beautiful ass shaking in the air for a continuous half hour." He collapsed on the couch exhausted. "I should have waited for Cliffaconda to show up for our Irwin Party. I mean he lives here practically. Even the doorknob smells like him."

"Why are you smelling the doorknob?" When Charlie hung out with Ashton a lot more right when Liv passed, she was getting to be a good friend with Michael. "Anyway, what do you want to talk about?"

"I wanna talk about you and CalPal." Ashton shot up immediately from his almost dead state. He happened to be a sucker for gossip and love and romance. He watched Charlie smile. "Aww you're smiling. That's cute. When are you guys gonna get together officially I mean. You totally should." He plastered on a artificial white girl accent that made him sound more gay than Tyler Oakley. Note: There is nothing wrong with being gay.

"That's the problem. I don't think we will get together Ash." Charlie slouched. "You already know how strict my madre is." Charlie rolled her eyes and Ashton went back to his half dead state.

"I hope this doesn't offend you but I really hate your mom. She can suck my ass. I don't understand why she wants to keep you away from Calum. She wants for you to be happy and Calum makes you happy. But she won't approve of it for whatever reason." Ashton half shrugged and half groaned still tired from all the twerking.

"Yeah I know. And it's not just her. It's Phoenix as well. I mean he gave me Liv's diary to read because all of the answers are in there."

"Liv is the best friend that died right?" Ashton was particularly new in the twisted web of friends and wanted to get everything straight.

"Yeah."

"And Phoenix is the guy that wants to be Pete Wentz."

"Yeah that's him." Charlie rolled her eyes at Ash's comparison. "Anyway he gave me her diary like it was nothing. But it clearly is something. She was my best friend and he was hiding her secrets from me all this time. I could've figured out why she did what she did." Charlie started to rage at Phoenix's sneakiness.

"I'm sorry but this isn't season 4B of PLL. Did you read it yet?"

"No I'm doing everything I possibly can to get away from my house. It took me a lot to come here. I had to say that I was going to meet you at the music store and then we were studying at your house just for this stupid Irwin Party."

"You're only calling it stupid because Calum isn't here. You wouldn't be acting as if you're on your period if he were here and you can't say that you are because you gave me schedule that shows me when not to piss you off." Ashton stood and placed his hands on his hips authoritatively.

"Umm. That's like borderline stalker and creepy. Can you not?"

"Can I not what?"

"Just can you not jump to conclusions." Charlie leaned back on his couch and her phone pinged next to her. She groaned as she saw it was her mom. "Speaking of the devil. I gotta go Ash. If I'm not home in the next 15 minutes then she's gonna think that we were doing things that we shouldn't be doing."

"Oh my god. You and Calum had sex and you didn't tell me?" Ashton slapped his hands on his cheeks and his gold-green eyes bulged widely.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because this is Calum Hood were talking about Charlie. Like Calum Hood is the San Fran equal of Queen Elizabeth."

"Since when the fuck was Calum British?"

"He's not. He's Asian." Ashton couldn't contain his laughter and Charlie joined along with him.

"I better go my mom will explode. Oh and Ill definitely tell him that he's Asian since I'm almost sure he didn't know that." Charlie calmed herself down enough to start to leave the short and very dry Irwin Party.

"No don't leave me Charlie." Ashton pulled her in for a hug but she pushed him away because of his sweatiness.

"Gross."

"If I were Calum you wouldn't be pulling away from me because of my sweat."

"If you were Calum I would probably oblige."

"If I were Calum you would probably lick the sweat off like a lollipop."

"This is why you don't have a girlfriend."

"No I don't have a girlfriend because I'm a demi sexual and most girls don't want a demi sexual man."

"What the fuck does demi sexual mean?"

"Demi sexual means that you aren't sexual but you still are. The prefix demi means half so halfway between asexual and sexual."

"Since when the fuck weren't you a virgin?"

"I'm a demi sexual for a reason. But oh my god I met this girl at Starbucks. She's beautiful but I don't really think that I'm giving up my virginity to someone like her. I mean I get that it's kinda hot and we live in San Francisco but wear some damn pants god. Some people just don't like clothes." Ashton shook his head letting go of Charlie finally.

"Yeah. Well umm I'm gonna go. Have fun trying to find someone." Charlie excused herself from the Irwin party.

(Hi freaks!! OMG I love this chapter because Calum isn't actually in it and because we have Ash wooo! okay love u guys.xxx.)