Through The Rain

Chapter Nine

After that, I know I'm fucked up, so I just decided to message Issa.

@kayegee
Hi Issa! Goodluck for tomorrow's game! ;-)

I don't know what's on my mind nung isend ko sakanya yang message na 'yan. I feel nothing.

After  a minute, my phone beeped and I quickly grab it to see who messaged me. Okay, I assumed that it was Blake but unlucky, it's not.

@issaocs
Thank you, Kaye! Goodluck too! :-)

I just pressed her messaged twice so that it will have a 'heart' reaction on it.

I'm now done drying my hair and I'm good for a nap. Just a nap since may dinner pa naman mamaya kasama ang family.

Oh right! Family.

Maybe I'm not welcome. Di na naman ata nila ako tinuturing na pamilya eh. That was just one mistake but it affected my whole existence and my whole damn life.

Settling my phone in an Airplane mode and alarming it for 6pm, I immediately jump on my bed and take a precious nap.

"Ma'am, gising na po. Kakain na po kayo." Our maid said as she tries to wake me up.

"Okay ate. Thanks." I answered kaya naman umalis na siya sa kwarto ko. Sa kwarto ko lang sila pwedeng pumasok kasi sa ibang kwarto bawal na bawal na.

I immediately get my phone and turn off the aiplane mode. Sunod-sunod na tunog ng messages and calls ang nareceive ko after ko i-off yung airplane mode. Naku naman!

From: Badbtch

Omg sizt!!!!!Nandito boylet mo sa mall with his ex!!!

Sizt lika na ditooo!!

Hoy Kaye Aphrodite!! Halika na ditoooo!!

It was sent almost 30 minutes ago kaya di na ako nag-abala at nagmadaling magpunta dun since gabi narin and I need some energy for tomorrow. I just texted Clei to assure her.

To: Badbtch

Slr. Jwu. Hayaan mo na sila.

I just sent it to her right away. Then immediately jump out of the bed and fixed myself since we're having a dinner. I was supposed to say Family Dinner, but I think I'm not a part of the family anymore?

After I fix myself, agad na akong bumaba at naabutan na silang kumakain sa dining table na wala ako. Ganon naman palagi eh, di na nila ako inaantay pero pag si kuya or ate ang kulang, hihintayin pa.

I wanna protest but I guess I don't have the rights. So I just shyly walk into our dining table and sat on my seat, then immediately started eating.

"What's going on between you and Blake, Kaye?" Dad asked me while having our meal so napaubo ako agad at napa-angat ng tingin.

"We're just good friends, Dad." I answered casually and continued eating. Di ko naman alam kung anong meron samin. Wala naman kaming label, and that idea sucks. Wala kaming label kaya di ko alam kung totoo ba ang mga pinapakita niya saakin. Besides, he's going out with his ex now, I guess they're coming back together again.

Was it wrong? Was it wrong to fall inlove with someone who's not yet finished loving someone from the past? I guess he still love Issa. From my perspective, I guess his love for her never faded. It was always there.

Why am I always an option? Or maybe not even an option. Maybe I was not in the choices, cause if I'm in, maybe someone chooses me already. Nakakapagod narin. All my life I was never a priority, I was never a choice, but always an option.

All these years, I've been begging someone else's love, care and attention. I'm a strong girl, yes. But behind this strong girl, is a soft and fragile heart and personality.

After having our dinner, dumiretso na ako sa kwarto ko para mag half-bath tsaka gawin ang aking skincare routine.

Cetaphil lang naman ginagamit ko for my face tas kung ano pang mga anek-anek na nirecommend sakin ng mga teammates ko. I was just putting some skincare products on my face when my phone suddenly rang so kahit nasa desk yun sa likod ko kinuha ko parin at sinagot na ang tawag, without even looking who the caller was.

"Hi." I greeted the person on the other line, not knowing who she or he was.

[Hey,] I froze for a bit after realizing who called me. That voice! That voice has always been a music to my ears. But hearing that voice also causes me pain.

"Blake." I called him with my soft voice on.

[Still up?] He playfully asked.

"Uhm? Yes? Obviously!" I answered back with a sarcastic tone.

I heared him chuckle on the other line and swear, that's so sexy to hear. Music to my ears.

[Goodluck for tomorrow!] He greeted me happily. I was the happiest right now.

The man of my dreams just sent his Goodluck to me. I'm gonna be the best version of myself tomorrow. Watch me.

"Oh, thank you!" I thanked him happily. If he could only see my face right now. I'm blushing for real.

[Just wanna send my goodluck to you that's why I called. Goodnight, Kaye!] He said and then immediately hung up the call.

I was supposed to say "Goodnight" too but he didn't let me. Kainis naman.

I washed my face and then I put a towel to let it dry then agad na ako lumabas sa aking bathroom para matulog.

Tomorrow will be a long and tiring day. I need to gain some energy that's why I need to rest early today.

I was just laying in my bed and waiting for my eyes to close when I remember something.

Parang kanina lang si Issa pa kasama ni Blake. Masayang nagkukulitan at nagtatawanan tas ngayon naman bigla siyang tatawag na parang di niya alam na nakita ko lahat ng yun.

Napaisip tuloy ako. Am I just his past time or what? Panakip butas or what? Pampa-selos or what?

Kase kung ganun lang pala ako sakanya. Ititigil ko na. Ayokong masaktan ulit.

Loving him caused me pain. He still love the past he left behind. I don't want to be with a guy who is not yet finished loving someone else. Kasi kung ganun, naglolokohan lang ata kami.

I am determined now to sleep that's why I prayed to God na, "Father in Heaven, if he's not for me. It's okay. If he's not for me, then maybe he's just a lesson. Thank you for giving him to me, for letting me know him and love him. Please guide me, him, my friends and my family always. Please guide me tomorrow too, injury free po sana. All this I ask in your name, Amen!"

I immediately did a sign of the cross after I prayed and, my eyes went closed already, causing me to fell asleep.