Amnesia {bts ff}

Chapter 17; Forgetting is salvation

I sneaked out very late that night and went to the place where everything had started. I came back to the woods carrying only a flashlight and absolute determination to get the answers on my own. I went back the place where I woke up the morning Jimin found me. That's the place! Jimin found me here... I remember how scared I was when I saw him for the first time. I looked around in order to find any lead or beaten track. My first memories are related to this place, but I don't remember how I got here. I could've continued straight ahead to get to the antenna, but that wasn't my goal. Or I could've flipped the coin to choose one path. Hmmm... Which way should I go? I looked to the left and saw some broken branches. It was certainly a sign that somebody had passed through there. It could've been me, but it could have also been some wild animal. I came closer to the bushes looking for tracks in the snow. 

It's no use, the snow was falling so much that it covered all tracks. I made a few more steps and stopped. I listened... Deafening silence... I heard a owl hooting and felt chills down my spine. I understood that as a sign to go back and take the other path. I was walking very slowly in order not to miss anything. I was following the trail of broken brances and marking every tree on my way so that I could come back. It's unbelieveble that Jungkook went this far when he found my purse. I was using the flashlight to examine every inch of the ground and I was more focused on the surroundings than on the path I was walking on. That was how I got my injury -yet another one in row. But it was worth it. At first I thought my leg got stuck in some branches, but it turned out the branches were actually an overturned snowmobile covered in snow. 

In the meantime....

''Y/n! Y/n!'' Jungkook yelled stressed. ''Jungkook why are you yelling? Ans why aren't you in bed?'' Hoseok said when he saw Jungkook. ''I couldn't sleep... I had a bad dream.'' Jungkook said scared. ''Come on, you're a big boy. You know it was just a meaningless dream.'' Hoseok said. ''If it doesn't mean anything, where is Y/n then? I dreamed that she moved away...'' Jungkook said. ''Maybe she's in the bathroom...'' Hoseok said looking at the boy. ''She isn't, I checked! She left...'' Jungkook said sad. ''Damn it! Listen to me Jungkook, don't leave the house! Do you understand?!'' Hoseok said worried. ''I understand... I'll wait for Y/n.'' Jungkook said and she sat down on the sofa. ''I'll be back soon and if I don't come back by morning, go to Jane and Jimin and tell them what happened.'' Hoseok said. ''Fine..'' Jungkook said. 

I put the flashlight away and started digging the snow with my bare hands. I didn't mind the fact I was freezing or being completely alone in the woods 'cause I'd finally found something which could tell me more about my past. I even forgot about the pain in my knee... Nothing was more important than my discovery. 

Several minutes later, I put my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath. I was covered in snow and my fingers were frozen, but I was standing above the snowmobile. It was on it's side damanged by hitting the tree. I was handles of a traveling back under it... I have to get that bag! I suppose my handbag that Jungkook found had fell out of it. He probably couldn't notice the snowmobile because of all the snow. I used all my remaining strenght to move the snowmobile, but in vain. That was why I pressed my legs against a tree, took the bag handles and pulled as hard as I could, hoping to get the bag out. Of course, that didn't happen... The bag tore apart and most of its content just scattered on the snow, while I found myself on my back. And then while I was looking at the clear sky, I saw myself packing and leaving angrily. I heard my father's voice yelling.. ''Stop her and tell her that if she leaves now, she's leaving forever! She should remeber that.'' I wiped the tears off my cheeks and looked at him for the last time. Then she came in... She told him: ''Father... Let her go.'' Back to the present: I wasn't sobbing, I wasn't even breathing, but the tears were running on their own and freezing on my face. I... I have a sister! And my father... Oh no! My father doesn't love me... 

The woods were one of those places that would either bring you peace or instill fear. I wish things had been as simple with me. Also, I wish never made a decision to walk through the woods alone at night. But.... It was too late for regrets. My heart was broken and my thoughts mixed so much that I believed I was on the verge of loding my mind. I pulled myself together, got up from the ground, and picked up my things. I'm so angry with myself right now! I'm done here! I wasn't paying attention to the contens of my bag... And why would I when, all of a sudden, everything became irrelevant. My family had rejected me and nothing could heal my broken heart just like that, and especially not a few dresses. 

''Y/n! Hey! Y/n!'' I heard Hoseok yell. That's him! He's looking for me! Oh god! I can't imagine how he must've felt whe he found out I wasn't in bed!  ''Y/n, can you hear me?'' Hoseok asked. I won't answer him... I think that'll make him angry. ''Y/n! Just follow my voice if you can hear me!'' He yelled. I hear him clearly now... He's close. ''Y/n! Oh, thank god! You're here! Huh! It's good that I found you!''  Hoseok said happily. ''What are you doing? Don't sneak up on me like that!'' I asked him. ''Sneak up? I'm shouting at the top of my lungs! And besides, I saw the light of your flashlight so I knew you were here.'' Hoseok said and I just stayed silent. 

''Will you explain to me why you did it again? Why are you tempting fate?'' Hoseok asked me worried. ''I don't wanna talk about that now...'' I said looking down. ''But you'll have to Y/n 'cause I wanna be part of every aspect of your life.'' Hoseok said. ''My life is my life and it's my problem.'' I said stern. ''No, this is our life now.'' Hoseok said. ''You don't know me at all! One day, when you really get to know me, you'll run away from me, just like everybody else!'' I said mad. ''Run away?! What are you talking about, Y/n?'' Hoseok asked me worried. ''Easy there... Everything will be clear to you soon.'' I said and I gave him a moment to calm down and think carefully about my words. Only then did he look down and notice the travel bag which I was firmly squeezing in my hand. ''What's with that bag?! Y/n, you're not planning to run away from me, are you?'' Hoseok said and I could see his face getting really sad. ''No! Do you honestly think I would dare do such a thing?'' I said. ''I don't know, you tell me. I know what you're like when you're up to something - you're unstoppable! That's why I'm done..'' Hoseok said. ''What do you mean you're done?! You're giving up on me?'' I said and I could tell I'm getting sad and angry at the same time. ''I'm just done persuading you. I hope you'll tell me yourself weher you found that bag yourself.'' Hoseok said. And I did. On our way home, I told him everything about the bag and that I was sorry I wanted to find the truth so despertaly. And for the first time, his hugs couldn't comfort me...