Chasing Love

Chapter 25

I wish I had never left because then our daughter would still be here, and I wouldn't have met the devil dressed as a man.

-Charlie 

Chapter 25

Chase glanced over at Charlie who was fast asleep next to him. He had tried to fall asleep for the last few hours and had no luck. Sitting up in bed knowing it was no use, he ran his hands through his thick hair and sighed.

He had a daughter.

Charlie's heartbreaking story kept playing through his mind as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he had a daughter that he would never know. He would never get to hold her, he would never get to watch her grow up, but he would never get to see Charlie be the amazing mother he knew she would be.

Sliding out of bed quietly, Chase pulled the blankets up to make sure it covered Charlie before walking downstairs into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and took a small sip as it burned like fire down his throat, warming his chest up. Dropping his head, he rolled the glass across the benchtop as a sob worked its way through his chest and out his lips.

He had a daughter named Ava. Ava Sinclair. 

She had been alive, and he didn't know. He didn't blame Charlie neither of them were ready for children they would have been 23 with no steady jobs and no guarantee their futures as an author or artist would be successful.

Chase let the tears run down his face, and he picked up the phone and called his mum. He knew it was late, but he needed his mum.

"Chase?" His mother picked up on the third ring and his only reply was a broken sob escaping his mouth.

"Chase has something happened you're scaring me, honey." Chase went to open his mouth and speak, but a strangled sob slipped out instead. His shoulders were shaking as he hunched over the island bench.

"Chase, if you don't tell me what's going on, I'll drag your father out of bed and we will be over in 20 minutes." Chase knew he didn't want his mother coming out so late, so he inhaled deeply and tried to release the deep ache that was building up inside of him.

"We had a daughter Mum; Charlie had a baby, and she lost it. I had a daughter." He sobbed through the phone as he put a hand over his mouth to keep the pain and wails that wanted to escape him. He didn't think he could feel the loss of someone he didn't know, but he was wrong. He felt the pain as if he had known her for her entire life. 

He grieved her despite her passing 5 years ago. 

 He felt an ache in his heart he didn't know was possible for a tiny life he lost before he got the chance to meet.

"Oh, Chase sweetie." He sobbed on the phone to his mum who whispered comforting words to him telling him it would all be okay and everything would be fine.

"Her name was Ava Mum, Ava Sinclair, I didn't even know her. I, I feel like I have lost something. That there is now a part of me that will always long to know who she would have been." He sobbed quietly as he slowly moved over to the couch and sat down and lowered his head.

"Of course, you will feel like you have lost something she was part you part Charlie and even though she isn't here today that will never change. You were her Dad, and you are allowed to grieve, you are allowed to hurt. Did you want me to come around?" His mother's soft voice spoke through the phone and he wiped his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"No, it's late. I'm sorry I called; I just feel so lost. It happened 5 years ago I didn't expect to feel like this. I feel lost and I feel like I let Charlie and Ava down by not being there or knowing." Chase ran his free hand through his hair again, frustrated and heartbroken.