The Roads To Paris

1

I'm on my phone in the passenger's seat of my sister's car.
Well, stepsister but who's counting facts?

We've been forced to go to school together even though they're like three other schools I can go to.
But apparently we'll get along better.

My mom died when I was really little and my dad was too sad to remarry ( I kinda felt sorry for him so I did my best to make him happy) and now he's over her and remarried to Danielle ( I can't help feeling sorry for myself).

Don't get me wrong it's not like I don't like Danielle, but I'm not loving Heaven ( my stepsister). Heaven; such a religiously conflicting name for such a devil ( excuse my French).
The funniest thing about my dad and Danielle getting together is the fact that they bonded over the fact that they both had daughters the same age. Add that to the fact that they were both single, lonely, old people and you have a blooming romance that was ironically fueled by my dislike for Heaven.
It's not like she's done anything particularly bad but I've been an only child all my life and now I'm sharing a room with some chick who's overstepping all my personal boundaries. Anyway, before I start drifting, back to me. So I'm on the phone in the passenger's seat of Heaven's car on my way to school, Heaven's school, with all of Heaven's friends and all the people Heaven's known since the beginning of time and she gives me that look, the look that says I'm about to go Dr Phil on you so don't be scared. I hate that look, it usually leads to a long and boring motivational speech.
" Are you nervous?" here we go with the mundane questions
" No." I really didn't want to answer but I feel like she'll be on it all day if I didn't answer her. Truth is, I'm actually really nervous because I'm not exactly down with the idea of being the new girl.
Apparently my answer does not satisfy Heaven and she parks by the road and looks me straight in the eye. God that thing she does makes me really uneasy. I mean, who looks a human being straight in the eye?
" Look Paris. I get that you had to drop everything you were comfortable with when our parents got married, but I promise you things won't feel all that different. Ridgewood is like any other school. I mean, I don't like this either, not being the only child anymore and everything but I'm willing to try if you are. Anything to see the smile your dad puts on my mom's face. They deserve to be happy. Don't you want them to be happy?"
She does have a point. I would kill to see my dad happy so I'm just going to have to put up with all the inconveniences this girl and her mother are causing in my life.
" Friends?" I look down to see Heaven's outstretched hand and begrudgingly take it.
" Yeah, sure, whatever." I say trying to hide my smile.
" I'll take what I can get. Anyways the school's pretty awesome and some of the teachers are pretty chill, although an after school activity is mandatory, sports or any of the clubs. I'm a cheerleader but not the type you hear about in movies. I guarantee you I'm like 69 percent nice at least and my entire existence is not based off some jock."
I laugh a little at that.
" Oh, here we are. School sweet school."
" Do you want me to stay out of your way while we're here?"
I know Heaven seems sweet when we are alone but most people become completely different people when they're in school.
" I don't mind. Besides Maeve and London have been dying to meet you."
I hop out of Heaven's car and keep my thumbs hooked in my Jean pockets and my backpack slung over one shoulder.
" So what after school activity are you going to be doing?"
The question catches me off guard and I almost stutter.
" Ummm I'll probably try out for a sport but if that doesn't work out I'll try out for one of those dead clubs like chess or something so that I don't actually have to do any actual activity just have my name signed up for something."
" I don't think it works that way Ri."
I almost loose balance over the nickname. I didn't know we were on nickname basis now.
" Well it'll just have to from now on."
Before I can catch my breath I'm pulled in the direction of two girls who I can only guess are Maeve and London.
" Guys this is my sister Paris. Paris these are my friends, Maeve and London."
I notice that she omitted Ste.
Maeve is really pretty with a platinum blonde hair that is in a ponytail like Ariana Grande's ( it's as long as Ariana Grande's too).
" You have really nice hair." I tell Maeve
" Thanks." The other girl, London looks mixed with her colourful box braids and her olive skin tone. She's really pretty though, I can tell I'm not really going to like her already. JK.
" I think I'm going to head to the principal's secretary office to get my schedule. See you when I see you. Bayyyyiii." I head in the wrong direction only to hear a
" You're going the wrong way."
In between laughs I turn around and continue searching for the secretary's office.
" Ms Baxter?" I here the Secretary call my name
" Yeah."
I'm handed my schedule, locker number and other important stuff. I say a quick thank you over my shoulders and hurry so I won't be late for my first class.
I bump into someone just after I've gotten some stuff in and out of my locker and I'm on my way to class.
I grab all my stuff and run away to avoid a very awkward moment. I hope no one saw that. I can't have my reputation be ruined before I even get the chance to actually have a reputation.
I'm in my first class of the day and so far so good. The teacher walks in just as I'm settled down and the class goes a little quiet.
" Morning class. I believe we have a new face in the crowds. I'll allow her to come and introduce herself."
I look up from my book that I'm currently doodling on when I realize that I'm the ' new face in the crowd.'
What I've learnt from all the movies about being the new girl is that to be able to not be the laughing stock of the entire school then you cannot mess up the introduction. I avoid stumbling or tripping as I make my way to the front of the class.
" Hi. I'm Paris Baxter."
The teacher looks at me as if to say go on .
" Oh that's it. I wasn't told to prepare a speech so all I came up with was that."
The whole class giggles and the teacher sends me back to my seat.
" For those of you who are new here I'm Mr Sanders. I'm going to be your teacher for a really long time so I suggest we all cooperate to get the best out of this year. I don't have a lot of rules but be sure to be in class before I get in and we'll all all be happy. Now let's get down to business..."
I drown out the teacher's voice and get engulfed in my own world. I'm dreaming that mom is still alive and we are all back in Springfield and I am with all my old friends and dad and mom and we are having the best time. Mom looks so beautiful with that gorgeous smile on her face and I wish I can just freeze time in that moment forever.
I promised myself long ago that I would never cry over mom's death anymore, that I would be strong for me and dad and I would take care of him and make him forget that he actually has a reason to cry but something about being in new town, leaving everything that was once so comfortable to me and starting afresh reminds me of life just after mom died. I allow myself to cry, to feel horrible for myself, to grieve personally and be selfish about this for once . Besides, I don't need to be strong for my dad anymore, I don't need to take care of him. He has Danielle now. I know I told him I was ok with her and I was happy that he was getting married to her but I'm not. I hate the fact that I'm the only one who even cares anymore. Even dad has gotten over mom, nobody remembers. If I forget, then her memory will be dead alongside her. I can't let that happen, so I cry, I don't care if I'm in a class filled with millions of other people and a stupid teacher who wouldn't shut up. I cry; for my dead mom, her fading memory, my new step family I'm having a hard time connecting with, the fact that my dad remarried, I cry for all the most shelf reasons ever and it feels beautiful to just grieve, to feel loss, to not hold back anything.

" Ms Baxter?" I hear a voice dragging me out of my trance.
I look up and see Mr Sanders. I see that stupid look of pity on his face. A look I'm used to by now. I hate it so much.
" I'm really not sure what's going on but the class was over about a minute ago. I didn't want to disturb you but I didn't want you to blame for your next class." he says awkwardly
" Thanks." I say, my voice sounding hoarse and like I'd just finished crying
" I don't think I'm in the place to give you any professional advice, but you might want to see the guidance counsellor. She's good with that. Second floor, third door to the left."
He adds.
Instead of repeating my thanks I silently gather my things and head for my next class.
I appreciate his concern but there's no way in hell I'm going to a counsellor. I'm pretty sure I can handle my own emotions by myself.
I wipe my tears and keep my head down. The last thing I want is for another person to see me crying. I don't want to be the girl whose Mom died ages ago but she can't seem to get over it and keeps crying every ten seconds just to gain sympathy from people.
I need to talk with Heaven about not telling anyone how we became step sisters . I hope she hasn't already told her friends Maeve and London. Last thing I want is for people to look at me the way Mr Sanders did today. I can handle a lot of looks but not pity. Never pity.