when to let go | l.h.

four

i hadn't been more excited nor more ready to finally be done with school and be able to start my future. not that i necessarily looked forward to working the rest of my life but at least i was doing something i enjoyed doing. i already had a job lined up working with one of luke's friends for a company who produces music. although, i was only starting as a secretary, i was excited none the less.

i was excited to tell daniel about my new job; he's been pretty busy so i haven't had the chance to tell him about it yet.  but, i knew he'd be excited because we could finally get started on the future we have always talked about. we had both agreed we wanted to have stable jobs and be done with school before we thought about moving out of our small apartment, marriage, and eventually children, but now that i was finally done with school, we could begin working towards that together.

i secretly hoped that this news would bring danny and i closer again since he's felt so distant lately. i hoped it would make him happy. that i would make him happy.

we sat quietly on the couch together watching tv mindlessly. my head leaned on his shoulder and i slowly ran my fingers up and down his arm.

"baby?" i mumbled eventually, looking over at him while my chin stayed resting on his shoulder.

"hmm?"

i sat up taking his hand in mine and crossing my legs to face him. "so you know how i'm graduating tomorrow?"

he furrowed his eyebrows slightly "shit, that's tomorrow?"

"uh yeah." i frowned. "you forgot.."

he shook his head. "i knew, i just didn't think it was this weekend. i sort of made plans, but i guess i'll just cancel."

i nodded slowly, looking down at my hands before i continued. "anyway, i just wanted to tell you i already have a new job. luke's friend calum got me a job with him, working for a music producer." i sent him a small smile.

again, he furrowed his eyebrows. "you know i don't like calum."

"danny come on, i wouldn't even be working with him, he just got me the job. and now we can focus on our future!"  i watched as he just shook his head and pulled his hand away from mine.

"some future." he mumbled. "how am i ever supposed to trust you when you're working with him?"

"baby, this is so good for me, they were hiring and he just put in a good word. i would never lie to you.." i whisper.

"i'm going out." he sighed and stood up. i stood with him placing my hand on his chest. i really thought he'd be happy about this and i didn't think he hated the boys anymore.  this was a great opportunity for me, why couldn't he see that?

"please danny.." i whispered. "please stay, i'm sorry. i won't take the job okay? i just thought you'd be happy to start our future." he shook his head and pulled away from me anyway. i stood silently, watching as he grabbed his keys and walk out the door.

i hadn't noticed i was crying until i leaned down to grab my phone. i harshly wiped my eyes before dialing the number of the one person i knew i could talk to.

"there better be a good reason you're calling me during my show." luke giggles the second he picked up.

i chuckled quietly. "sorry lu, i can leave you to it." i whisper, leaning my head back on the couch.

"i'm kidding lay, what's up?"

"i don't think i can take that job with calum. daniel got mad and left when i told him.." before i even finished my sentence, the tears were falling again.

luke scoffed on the other end. "what does he have to be mad about? it's a great opportunity for you!"

i shrugged even though he couldn't see me. "you know how he feels about the other guys.. he won't trust me ever if i work with one of them."

"that's fucking ridiculous. you're really going to give this up because daniel doesn't like you talking to another guy? you've never given him a reason not to trust you. he can get over it." i stayed quiet for a little while, thinking about what luke said. he was right but i didn't want to piss danny off. i wasn't sure how long i was quiet for but luke spoke again. "listen, at least think about it. don't just give up the job yet. focus on graduating right now. you have a few weeks before you start."

"you're right." i mumbled.

"are you okay?"

"i will be, thank you for listening to my stupid issues." i sigh.

"your issues aren't stupid, your boyfriend is. seriously laila, i don't understand why you're still with him. you know you deserve better."

"i love him luke.."

***

i sat quietly watching as each of my classmates walked the stage. i made sure to clap along with everyone else but it felt as if my body was on autopilot.

daniel never came home last night, so i doubted he'd show up today but that didn't stop me from looking around to see if i could spot him. names were being called surprisingly quick as hemmings was called about 20 minutes ago and they were now on to the m's. i was anxious yet relieved that my name wasn't until the end so, it gave daniel more time to show up.

after what felt like only 10 minutes but was really more like 30, my row stood and made our way to the front. when it came to me i took one last glance around still not seeing daniel. luke gave me a thumbs up as my eyes spotted him and i smiled, grateful that i had some support.

the rest of the ceremony went by quickly and i eventually found luke who was standing in a small group with the other boys. calum smiled, spotting me first and ran over to hug me. i giggled as he spun me around before setting me back down.

"congratulations laila." he smiled. the other boys all congratulated me as well. i hugged luke last and smiled up at him.

"so we're finally done." i giggled looking up at him. he smiled down at me but his smile soon changed when he looked over my shoulder. i furrowed my eyebrows and turned to see what he was staring at only to find daniel standing there with a rose.

he looked like a mess: his hair was messier than usual, the shirt he was wearing was wrinkled, and as much as i wanted to ignore it, his lips were lightly swollen.

"i'm sorry i'm late baby." he took a step closer and took my hand in his. "i stayed at a friend's last night and i woke up late."

i nodded and bit my lip. "it's whatever daniel. doesn't matter. but i'm going out for drinks with the boys to celebrate. you coming?"

he raised his eyebrow at me and shook his head. "no, come on. we're going home."

i shook my head at him. "i'm celebrating with my friends daniel. can't you just be happy for me?"

he scoffed pulling his hand away from mine. daniel's cheeks were now red with anger. "if you are gonna pick these assholes over your own boyfriend then obviously i have a reason not to trust you!"

"and what reason do i have to trust you when you're never home and constantly pushing me away?" i could feel all the guys' eyes on us. they may not have known as much as luke did about daniel, but they didn't like him either. it sucked because i wanted nothing more than for all my favorite people to get along.

"if you don't trust me then why don't you leave?" he scoffed. i could see the anger in his eyes and i knew he wouldn't listen to anything i said. but, i guess i took too long before i responded because before i knew it he was walking away.

{author's note}
who do you guys picture daniel to be? i'm curious.
thank you for reading if you're still here. feel free to comment, i love reading them.
(unedited)