when to let go | l.h.

seven

"you were drunk.." i repeated mostly to myself. "you accused me of not being trustworthy while you cheated on me again."

my eyes finally met his while he sat there with an unreadable expression on his face. he looked as if he was about to speak but i cut him off before he could.

"luke was right, you missed our anniversary, you missed my graduation, you weren't even happy i found a great job!" i took a shaky breath, scanning his face again for any sign of emotion.

"i can't do this." i blurt out with a shake of my head. i felt so stupid because everyone around me told me daniel was no good and i would never listen. i forgave him every time he hurt me because i was head over heels in love him even though part of me deep down always knew he would cheat on me again. part of me always knew he'd never be happy with me. part of me knew i was never enough for daniel.

when the silence remained i pushed open the door of the car and quickly pushed myself out. my body felt as if i was on autopilot as my feet carried me to our apartment and straight to our room where i locked the door leaned my back against it finally letting the tears take over me.

i hadn't missed the "i'm sorry.." that came from daniel before i shut the car door and he drove away and it confused me. why was he sorry? for playing me?

i sank to the floor as a sob finally made its way past my lips. i felt absolutely lost, like part of me had been taken away.  i felt stupid because this isn't the first time it happened and i should've known. everyone told me how dumb i was to stay with him after he cheated on me the first time but i stayed because i couldn't find it in me to let go. i still loved him. i still do.

i don't know how long i sat on the floor but the tears had soon dried up and i made my way to the bed. i had no strength to cry any longer but that didn't make the aching feeling in my stomach go away. i wrapped my arms around myself and pulled the blanket up to my chin in an attempt to block out the world. a useless attempt at that as my phone started ringing showing one of my favorite pictures of luke holding his dog petunia.

i couldn't find it in my to answer my phone as i was in no mood for an 'i told you so' lecture. he's been telling me for years that i deserve better than daniel and i didn't need anyone celebrating that he was gone while i still felt like shit.

i watched as the screen turned black again before flashing once more to say that luke had left a voicemail. with a sigh i reached over to grab my phone and press play on the voicemail.

"uh hi lai.. hey.. i don't know why i'm still waiting for an answer." there was a quiet chuckle that left his lips before he continued.

"i just wanted to call and apologize for earlier, you're right.. i should've kept my mouth shut, it's none of my business. i just don't like seeing you so upset over that assh- daniel."  he let out a sigh.

"just call me back yeah? i don't like when you're mad at me. bye laila."

why luke's call had made me cry again i wasn't really sure of but i did know the tears were falling yet again and my body felt drained. as drained as i felt though i pushed myself up, leaning my back against the head board and calling him back.

"you got my message?" luke asked as he answered the phone. i didn't miss the hint of nerves that were in his voice while he asked.

"yeah.."

"i really am sorry laila."

"y-you shouldn't be." my voice came out quieter than intended and i almost wasn't sure he heard me until he answered.

"what do you mean? you were right, i overstepped, i was just trying to look out for you. but you're a strong girl, you can handle it and i shouldn't be butting in."

"you were r-right luke." i forced out the words only to be cut off but a lump forming in my throat. my teeth bit down harshly on my lip to distract myself from the tears threatening to fall.

"right about what? you aren't making sense. what's wrong?"

i didn't want to cry, i didn't want him to think i'm weak, i was scared of what he'd think of me after i said what's been clouding my mind. if i said it out loud, it would be true.

"d-daniel and i b-broke-"

"where are you? are you at home? is he there? i swear i'll kill him."  he'd cut me off before i could even finish but i know he knew. luke knew me better than i even knew myself.

"he's not here." i whispered hearing shuffling on luke's end.

"i'll be there soon lai okay?"

before i even had a chance to answer the line went dead and again i was left in silence. the only thing being heard in the room was the sound of my uneven breathing. 

after taking a moment to gain enough energy, i stood and made my way out of the room, knowing i'd have to let luke in. i dragged my feet to the front door, unlocking it before plopping down on the couch. soon enough there was a soft knock on the front door before the handle turned revealing my blonde haired best friend.

he gave me a sad smile as he came over, sitting beside me on the couch and opening his arms for me. i instantly leaned into him, allowing a breath to be let out. we stayed like this for a couple minutes before he broke the comfortable silence.

"so what happened?.." he asked cautiously, not knowing how i'd react but i just squeezed him a little tighter before pulling away all together to face him.

"i told you already, you were right. he cheated on me again.."  i kept my gaze on my hands. "i told him i can't do this anymore and he drove away. i don't know when or if he'll be back but i came here and that's it." everything came out rushed and we both remained quiet for a second before he spoke.

"it can be hard to know when to let go.. but you deserve so much more."

{author's note}
poor laila. :(
its a little rushed but i was excited to get it out for you guys.
i love you all so much.
thank you again for reading!
(unedited)