when to let go | l.h.

twenty three

i sat in my car outside of the old, yet familiar apartment building. daniel had easily agreed to meeting with me and told me he would meet me at our old apartment after he got off of work. to my surprise, daniel arrived right at six, parking beside me in the parking lot of the complex. i got out of my car and made my way around to him as he got out.

"hey laila." he said softly looking me over. i pulled my lip between my teeth out of a nervous habit as i took in his appearance.

"hi." i said back, holding onto my purse a little tighter.

"come in, we can talk inside." he said walking past me to lead me to the door. i followed behind him as if i were on autopilot, walking the familiar path.

once inside i took in the space, not failing to notice pretty much everything was the way it was when i left.

"haven't changed much." daniel chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "um do you want something to drink?"

i shook my head and looked around once more as we walked toward the living room. daniel was the first to sit on the couch and i followed leaving a bit of distance between us.

"so you wanted to talk?" he asked when noticing my silence.

i nodded, breaking myself out of the small daze i was in. "um yeah i do.." i took a deep breath as i glanced over at daniel to see him nod as if he was waiting for me to continue.

"i don't really know where to start. i guess i just want to know why?" i mumbled looking down at my hands.

"why i cheated?" he asked as if confirming what i asked. i nodded and waited for him to continue.

"i just want to start by saying i'm sorry laila. i know that doesn't mean much but i truly am. i went to a dark place for awhile when you left me. that sounds really selfish but you were such a big part of my life. i took that time to think about what i was doing and destroying but i think i came to realize that i was insecure and i didn't love you like i used to. that's not your fault in anyway and i really do care about you, i just don't think i'm in love with you." he sighed and reached over to cup my cheek, turning my face towards him. "please don't cry.." he whispered.

i quickly brought my hands up to wipe my eyes. i hadn't even noticed i was crying. "sorry.."

"don't be, i know the way i handled things was not right at all but, i want you to know you deserve to be happy. i'm truly sorry that can't be me. maybe one day we could be friends..." he pulled his hand away and i nodded slowly.

"maybe one day." i agreed and wiped my eyes again. "i'm sorry if i wasn't enough for you." i mumbled quietly.

"no laila, you were more than enough." he chuckled, sending me a warm smile. "i was an idiot. i did not deserve you." he leaned over and pulled me into a hug. "thank you for showing me what love was, i'm so sorry i couldn't do the same for you."

i slowly wrapped my arms around him and hugged back, sighing at the familiar feeling. "stop apologizing. yes what you did was wrong and you did hurt me but, you deserve to be happy too." i pulled away with a small smile.  "i should go..."

he nodded. "oh yeah okay. thank you for hearing me out."

i nodded. "thank you for clearing things up for me." with a small wave i walked out of the tiny apartment i used to call home and made my way to my car. as soon as the door was shut, i felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. i checked the time on my phone before starting the car to go home.

once i got home i went straight to my room to change before finding myself something to eat. i stood at my dresser wiping off my makeup when there was a knock at my door. i looked through the mirror to see luke sticking his head in before pushing the door open completely. he stood with his hand behind his back as he came in.

"hi.." he said gently, his lips curving up slightly.

"hi." i mumbled back as i continued to take off my makeup. i watch from the mirror as he made his way over to sit on my bed behind me.

"i'm sorry." he said once i turned around. the blonde brought his hand from behind his back, revealing a single rose. "i let my feelings get the best of me yesterday. i have no right to keep you from seeing daniel if you feel like that's what you need to do. i'm your best friend first and i'm going to be there for you."

i nodded and took the rose from his hands. "thank you luke..." i sighed, feeling relieved. i twirled the flower in my hands not taking my gaze off it. "i saw him today." i whispered.

"how'd that go?" he asked, gently reaching for my wrist to pull me down beside him.

"better than i expected." i nodded. "seeing him hurt, being there hurt." i didn't look up at him.

"i feel better though. i got some answers."

luke wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me toward him. i rested my head on his shoulder. "i'm glad you got some answers."

after a bit, i pulled away and stood from the bed causing luke to pout. i chuckled softly. "i haven't eaten lu."

he nodded and left go of my arm. "well after you eat do you want to watch a movie?" i nodded with a smile and skipped down the stairs to the kitchen. "there is left overs in the fridge." he called down as i was already about to heat them up.

i hurriedly ate, not really feeling as hungry but more excited to spend time with luke again. the second i finished i placed my plate in the sink and went up to his room where he sat with petunia, a movie already waiting to be played.

the blonde smiled at me and patted the bed beside him. i took the spot, instantly being greeted by the small dog climbing into my lap. kissing her head, i settled back against the head board and tucked my feet under the comforter.

luke pressed play on the movie before shifting so he was laying with his head in my lap beside petunia. his hand reached over to let the dog beside him while mine moved to play with his curls gently. my eyes trailed over the boy below me slowly, studying his every feature. laying there, he looked so peaceful yet effortlessly beautiful.

"is this movie okay?" he asked, shifting to look up at me.

"what movie are we-" i glanced up at the screen to see what he chose.

"maybe if you kept your eyes on the screen you would know." he teased before turned back towards the tv.

"sorry.." i chuckled gently.

he shook his head before reaching to hold my hand. and that's how we sat for the rest of the movie.

{author's note}
hehe two updates because i feel bad for not updating as much!
do you think laila is truly over daniel?
what's going to happen with lula?
let me know what you think.
love you guys!
(unedited)