when to let go | l.h.

nine

for the last two days, luke and the boys have been nothing but caring for me and i couldn't be more grateful for the friends i have.

the night i showed up at luke's apartment, he let me talk until i had nothing else to say, he held me when i cried, and occasionally he tried to make a few jokes to try and cheer me up. not once did luke try to tell me 'i told you so' and i was quite relieved because i didn't think i could handle much more at the moment. it was hard enough for me already to even tell what i was feeling. the easiest word to describe it would be lost.

daniel had been the love of my life for the past four years and it was over within seconds. every emotion from every moment from over the years, good and bad, had came rushing to the surface and hit me like a truck but afterwards left me feeling empty. all of those memories would soon be forgotten like they never happened at all and i had no idea how to move forward.

that night, luke let me stay in his spare room and told me it was mine for as long as i needed. he left me to sleep but not without a reminder that if i need anything that he'll be there no matter what. luke was one of the most generous people i knew and i couldn't be happier to call him my friend.

that night i barely slept, as every time i closed my eyes i was brought back to each argument and fight between daniel and i except this time, each one ended with a rough slap to my cheek and caused me to sit upright in bed. this left me alone with my thoughts until the early morning as i would not even consider bothering luke at this hour.

when 6 o' clock rolled around, i was up out of bed and outside, running. my feet carried me all the way to the apartment i once thought of as home. i was grateful to see daniel's car wasn't there so i could quickly grab a few things i would need until i could get all my stuff out for good.

by the time i had arrived back at luke's, it was just past seven and he stood in the kitchen with a mug of coffee and two hot plates of food waiting on the counter. it wasn't until i smelled the warm food, that i realized how hungry i actually was. we sat to eat and quietly talked for bit before luke asked where i had gone to so early in the morning. it was then that he promised that him and the boys would get all my things out of my apartment for me within the next couple days.

i told him it wasn't necessary but he wouldn't take no for an answer; which is why i'm currently sitting in my car, staring at my old apartment building anxiously only a few days later. later that day after luke promised to help me gather my things, we told the rest of the boys what happened between daniel and i and they were just as caring about it as luke. except for calum who mumbled a "thank god that dick is gone.." after he was told. i'd be lying if it didn't make me chuckle a little though. i knew calum always disliked daniel and i understood why.

each boy promised to be there the next day, bright and early, to help me "get my shit the fuck out of that hell hole" as michael so elegantly put it.

so, there i still sat in my car, luke beside me, as i nervously chewed on my lower lip. i was relieved to see daniel wasn't there seeing as each boy seemed to have multiple reasons as to why they wanted to beat my ex to a pulp, but the main one being the lingering bruise that was left as a reminder on the side of my face.

"ready lai?" luke asked gently from the passenger seat. i broke my stare from the building in front of me and turned my attention to him with a nod. together we made our way out of the car and waited as the boys did too before we made our way inside.

as i unlocked the door to the apartment the boys quickly made there was in behind me and waited patiently for instructions. it took me a moment to take in my surrounds before a sigh pushed past my lips.

michael and calum were on clothes and shoes duty. ashton was in charge of gathering all my skin and hair products together. which left luke and me left to get anything else i needed to take with me.

we were making good time, we had been there for about and hour and ashton was already done and helping a bickering michael and calum which made everything go a lot smoother. luke and i had got all of my pictures, books, and any other little things i found along the way packed up and i was going to take a walk through the apartment once more incase there was anything we missed. luke headed to the room with the other boys who were almost done packing as well to help them finish up and i made my way to the living room, slowly walking around and making sure nothing was missed.

i made it through most of the house when the boys came and met me in the kitchen with proud smiles on their faces. i had just set my key to the apartment on the kitchen counter and i told the boys i needed to check the room once more then we could leave. besides the few childlike whines from michael about needing to hurry up because he was hungry, they all nodded their heads before i left the room.

i'd be lying if i didn't say stepping into my old bedroom, now missing of the pictures and my thing that were scattered around the room, made me feel lost all over again. despite the sad situation of packing up all of my things, the boys had really helped to distract me for a little while.

my mind wandered, running through all the good memories that happened in here, from the first night daniel and i spent together in our new apartment to the nights where we would wake up at 2 am to make pancakes and talk about our future while we ate in bed. these memories came and went, making my heart hurt more a little more as each one passed.

it wasn't until i heard shouting come from outside the room that i was pulled from my thoughts and realized how long i had actually been standing there. with one last quick glance around, i hurried out, not expecting to see the scene that was unfolding before my eyes.

{author's note}
ooo things are finally starting to pick up!
i'll try not to leave you guys in suspense for too long ;)
thank you again to everyone whose been reading and commenting, it really does mean a lot to me.
let me know what you think!
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