A Walking Dilemma [COMPLETED]

Chapter Nine [9]

Tuloy tuloy ang bagsak ng ulan sa labas ng dorm namin. Tapos na ang tag-ulan kaya halos nagulat ang lahat nang muling umulan. Tumingin ako sa may bintana at nakitang nagtatakbuhan na ang mga estudyante para sumilong. Napangiti ako habang tinitignan sila.

It's nice not to be uptight. Yung masaya ka lang at hinahayaan mo lahat ng emosyon mo. Wala kang iniisip na iba.

Muli kong tinignan 'yung social media account ko, kung saan nakita ko na may bagong thread na naman tungkol kay Apollo. It's a hate thread. Nagsimula 'yun nang pinost ng isang sports news site 'yung basketball highlights niya at halos lahat dun ay nagdudunk siya. People did not appreciate it, so Apollo received some hates.

Ignorant people don't really know how much time it can take to learn how to dunk.

Hanggang sa nadagdagan na nang iba't ibang thread. Gumawa ng thread yung naging kaklase niya raw dati, na hindi naman daw talaga pumapasok ng klase si Apollo. Sayang tax, kawawa mga follower, sabi nila.

I'm still uncertain with that news. Hindi ko alam kung totoo ba na hindi siya mahilig pumasok ng klase. I don't want to believe to some rumors. I saw Apollo liked one hate post and it made me pressed my lips together.

So...he saw it

He must be drained right now.

I do not have the guts to message him. Pero hindi ko rin kayang mag-isip lang nang mag-isip dito. Napagdesisyunan ko na lumabas muna, kinuha ko muna ang payong at dumiretso sa main library.

I don't know why I went here. Should I read some books? Study again? Huminga ako nang malalim. Bahala na nga.

Nagulat ako nang nakita ko si Apollo nakaupo sa isa sa mga lamesa. Halos wala na ring tao sa library. Nandun lang siya habang suot ang paborito niyang hoodie at nagbabasa ng libro. And it's a book related to his course.

Kumuha ako ng libro at tumabi mismo sa kaniya. He looked surprised as he saw me, but he just stayed silent. Tinignan ko siya habang nagbabasa, parang ang laki laki ng problema niya habang nakatingin sa libro. I never saw him holds a book, this is a first. Maybe, he's really affected by the post.

I closed my book and he stared at me as I close his book as well.

"Do you have exams?" I asked, umiling lang siya habang seryoso pa ring nakatingin sa 'kin. Walang bahid ng lungkot ang mga mata niya, na parang walang nangyari.

Binalik ko na sa shelf yung libro naming dalawa. Hinatak ko kaagad siya palabas, maybe a walk can ease the pain.

I don't really know how to comfort a sad person, but maybe my words can help him. Magaling talaga siya magtago pag nasasaktan siya and that's something I'm very curious about. Bakit niya tinatago? Hindi ko naman siya huhusgahan.

Walang nagsasalita habang naglalakad. The cold breeze made me shiver, gabi na at kakatapos lang ng ulan kaya mas malamig but I didn't show it to him. I love the rain, I love how it embrace the sadness he is feeling right now. Mas mukha na siyang kalmado ngayon.

"This walk will hurt your feet again" he said.

"As long as it's making you calm... and happy" ani ko. Not exactly happy but atleast it eases his pain.

He licked his lips and stared at me.

"Roadtrip?" He asked me. His mood is a little bit lighter now. Hindi talaga siya maka move-on nung nalaman niya na naglakad lang ako papunta sa condo niya. From his opinion, it's really far daw kaya pala namumula yung paa ko pagkarating doon.

"Sure, but let's buy a chocolate cake first," he nod.

Dumaan lang kami sa isang store na nagtitinda ng cake na nasa lata and we just asked for forks para makain namin sa sasakyan. Pagkarating namin sa sasakyan niya, inabutan niya agad ako ng hoodie.

"Wear this," ani niya habang binubuksan yung bintana. I knew it, he loves the cold breeze.

Umikot kami sa mga magagandang lugar sa Manila, the surroundings is full of buildings and lights. Tinitignan ko lang si Apollo habang nagdridrive, hinayaan niya akong mamili ng mga kanta kaya I literally chose all the comforting songs!

Siguro, sobrang nabobother nga ako na malungkot siya. Kaya ko pang tiisin 'yung nakakunot niyang noo at hindi pagngiti sa ibang tao, pero hindi 'yung ganito.

Pagkatapos naming umikot tumigil siya sa isang tahimik na lugar na may magandang tanawin ng mga ilaw.

This is too pretty. I smiled. Maybe he knew how much I love lights.

Binuksan ko na yung cake na binili namin. Agad kong inabot sa kaniya nang nakangiti yung tinidor para makakain na rin siya.

I don't want to bring up his problems, it is his choice kung gusto niya magkwento. Maybe we'd just enjoy this cake and move on silently kung hindi siya magkwekwento. Baka mas kaya niya maghilom pag mag-isa.

Bumuntong hininga si Apollo at tumingin nang diretso sa harapan.

"Maybe you saw it already" ani niya at pinili kong hindi sumagot.

"People are trying to bring me down, again. It's not new. It's not a big deal to me. Don't worry"

I stared at him as if I'm trying to weigh things.

"It's okay to be sad. Okay lang kung hindi ka muna maging matapang ngayon. Okay lang na nasasaktan ka."

He just pressed his lips together at huminga ulit nang malalim.

"They don't understand me, they don't even know me." ani niya habang may malungkot na mata.

Sadness is finally showing, he can't hide it forever. He needs to face it, kasi pag hindi mas lalala.

"It's true that I don't attend some of my classes. I realized that maybe studying wasn't for me. I prioritized my sport more than my studies. But, they're right. People's taxes pay for my education and allowance as an athlete. I need to do better." ani niya

"Kaya ka ba nagbabasa kanina?" I asked. Tumango naman siya.

"I'm sure... they're saying that for my own good. I also saw how you prioritize your education more than anything... it inspires me," he said

Tumango naman ako.

This is the real Apollo. Malayong malayo sa kinakamuhian nila. Akala nila mayabang, bastos at walang pakielam sa masasamang sinasabi nila. But he takes critiques very well, he always uses it for his character development.

Hindi siya natatakot kung magkakamali siya, hindi siya takot na baguhin yung sarili niya.

Because he knew... it's for his own sake

He knew it would help him develop his attitude.

Alam niya na may ibang naapektuhan kaya may babaguhin siya.

"I'm flawed, but I'm really trying to improve myself."

I smiled sincerely to him. I'm beyond proud.

"Your bruises made you a better person, you're a good person, Apollo." ani ko

"Always remember that not all people has the same privilege as yours, ang daming gusto makapag-aral sa school natin but they didn't make it. Treasure it," sabi ko

His eyes is turning red now. Siguro wala siyang masabihan ng problema niya, maybe it hurts him so much since back then.

Behind his masculine body and fierce face. He's a soft person who knows how to handles his emotion right away.

"Even though they call me rude and an ass?"

"Maybe they call you an ass because they like your ass, don't you think?" I said teasing him.

That sounded so corny, but he smiled.

"Keep on squatting, young man" I said mocking him.

He chuckled.

"You're ridiculous" sabi niya habang umiiling at nakangisi.