Costiño Series 5: The Painful Battle (HANDSOMELY COMPLETED)

Kabanata 8

Kabanata 8

Pahinga

Hindi ako pinansin ni Ruslan ng dumating ang umaga. Halos tutok na tutok siya sa paghahakot ng relief good sa storage room. Hindi na rin ako nanggugulo nung una pero nang dumating ang lunch, hindi niya parin ako pinansin. Kinalma ko ang sarili para mawala ang nagbabadyang inis sa kanya.

What's wrong? Why is he acting like this? Kagabi naghintay ako sa kanya, I was hoping he'll sleep with me then nothing came. I was just saying what I'm feeling then he get pissed. What's wrong with him?

Well, I don't want to be bossy and command anything I want. But I cannot stop myself controlling him. Nakasanayan ko na kasi ang ugaling iyon noon. He spoiled me. He obey what I want. He tolerate my attitude. That's why, I'm being control freak here. But now, sinabi ko lang sa kanya na hindi pa ako handa para sa relasyon na hinihingi niya, nagalit siya. Then he said, he waited for me. Really? Who command him to wait me?

I didn't ask him to wait for me because he shattered me before. Grabe ang pinagdaanan kong sakit at lungkot. I was deliriously crazy crying in the dark, while my parents and brother are worried. I've become defiant towards my parents. I didn't listen to them anymore. Next to become wayward, I was lost in myself for months. And then I feel untoward for his touch, his love and everything about him. My father control me but I'm just recalcitrantly. And lastly, I've become obstinate. I forlorn myself, I didn't eat, sleep well and neglect everything surround me.

Nawala talaga ako sa sarili ko pero natauhan ako sa sampal ni papa. He make me realize that love is a matter of sacrificing and surrendering. Means, not all you want will end you. Kaya si Ruslan ay hindi napa sa akin. And now, bumabalik sa hindi ko malamang dahilan. Maybe he was so boring and he want a mingle for his boredom. Or, he want to play again. Kaya mahirap magtiwala sa kanya ulit e, minsan na kasi akong hindi pinili kaya baka dumating sa huli ay maiwan ulit ako sa ere.

We'll never know. Fate is something good to play heart. And if you are not wise, then you'll be broken again. So for the meantime, I accept him as my fling. Pwede naman kaming maging mabagal sa lahat. If he really want me to be his girlfriend, then he must be patience and wait. Hindi madaling makalimot, at mas lalong hindi madaling kalimutan ang ginawa niya sa akin. So as for now, flinging is my way to be in touch with him.

Pero ang brutong iyon ay isnabero ngayon. Halos isang oras na akong naghihintay dito sa labas ng storage room ngunit hindi parin siya lumalabas. Mabuti nga't walang isinugod na mga pasyente ngayon e. We can relax for a day, sigurado kasing bukas o mamaya ay dumagsa na naman. Ang naiwan naman na mga pasyenteng nakaligtas ay mabuti na ang kalagayan. Nasa hallway sila at doon nagpapalakas. Mahigit seven hundred na pasyente ang nandito ngayon at lahat sila ay virus free na.

Kaya malaki ang pagpapasalamat ko sa panginoon dahil dininig niya ang panalangin ko. I've heard over the news, sumampa na sa sampung daan ang nagpositibo sa naturang sakit. Karamihan sa kanila ay matatanda at buntis. At gaya ng sabi ko, sa East Medical Center dinadala ang mga vulnerability; tulad ng buntis. Ang matatanda naman ay pwede sa amin o sa ibang hospital ngunit limitado lamang. We can't take plenty of vulnerability because this hospital is not huge. We can entertain but in limitation.

The president announced also that the vaccine might be release next year. Ibig sabihin sa susunod na taon pa. Marami pang buhay ang mawawala. Marami pang inosenteng bata ang mawawalan ng pag-asang mabuhay. At marami pang tao ang mawawalan ng oportunidad na mabuhay. Bakit sa susunod na taon pa? Why not now? What's wrong?

Napahinga nalang ako. Tama nga naman, hindi naman sila magbibigay ng ganyang kahaba na panahon kung hindi pa handa ang bakuna. What about capsule or tablet? I am trying to contact my mother regarding this matter, I want to ask her if I can experiment my own vaccine or any other healer. But the department of health told us to stop making or experimenting vaccine. Ika'y may parating naman daw na bakuna.