Little Lies (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 17 [M]

I sat at the beach, the one we went to together just a few weeks ago, the drive here resembled something like peace. But the heavy feeling in my gut made it hard to focus on anything but road signs. The time passed quickly, faster than I though it would.

I squeezed the sand in my hands and let it go, seeing the grains getting stuck in the soft folds of my gloves. The salty air made me a slightly dizzy with memories and buried feelings.

I heard the foot steps when they were too close, I didn't have to turn around to know it was Lina. To be completely honest I was afraid to look at her, I missed her too much to be seeing her in place where we made so much love, and I don't mean sex. I mean actual heavy, real feelings of infatuation driven by a thriving, hungry heart.

Though my heart isn't so hungry for love, my body still craves Lina, it craves her in a way that I can't explain. Its learned her, her curves, her weight, the way she loves with every sing touch.

My body wants its drug back.

I sigh when I feel her sit down next to me. All the animosity was diminished and it was just us, just like June. Lina in June was the love of my life, but not Lina in November; this Lina is untouchable, unreachable, unloveable, crippling, and unforgettable.

She meets my shoulders as we sit and watch the waves crash and pull for us. The feeling of vulnerability rose quickly and I found leaning into it and soon her head is resting on me.

"She knows about you," I say and the air trapped in my lungs seemed to flow out after just a day of sitting on the news.

"I know, I figured it was either her or Grey, Bailey wouldn't go though my things and leave it a mess," she speaks gently, unmoved, unbothered is a better word.

"Grey?" I ask cautiously. Grey could know about us, and I wouldn't feel bad at all for that.

She nodded against me,"yeah, He's not the most faithful, but neither am I, we're not that different."

"Don't compare yourself to him," I defended her, then it hit me, "why do you stay with him Lina, why do you keep choosing him?"

"Because Chris," she started as if it were the most simple thing, "I don't have anything else, I have nowhere to go, I don't have anything of my own. They say thats how marriage is supposed to be and that fine, until you want to run away and you just can't."

I could tell just by the sheer tone of her voice thats she'd given up hope, "you know he's cheated on you?"

"Baby, he's cheating right now. I know all of it, at this rate we're honestly just in an open relationship," she chukled to herself and I could tell it actually held humor. I was so max at her I didn't want to know this part of her story so I made assumptions. I assumed she laid down and took for the sake of American values but no in all honest this relationship is her safety. The question o have now is why he says with her.

"Why does he stay with you if he's cheating?"

"Christoph, we have two deaf kids and he's gone more than half the time. If he divorces me it'll look bad on the board and he won't get the promotion he's been chasing. the company's CEO is very family oriented, and no doubt, he wouldn't want one of his leading executives to be divorced for infidelity. It implies that hes not trust worthy, compassionate, or for that matter, dependable."

"But isn't he all those things?" I ask looking over at her, and he face breaks into a smile. She stars to laugh and I missed that so much. I smirk at that, mainly because I didn't mean to make her laugh.

Her laughing calmed and we were quiet again. Hold her hands while she cuddled into me, I love my Nova, never doubts that but, Lina...Lina just rips my heart out.