North America Gang

You Wouldnt Like Me Before My Covfefe

Mornings are always relaxing for the North America trio, especially since they are all too tired to radiate too much chaotic energy. They all had their morning routines. Canada was just drowning his pancakes in maple syrup, Mexico was sitting around eating a breakfast burrito and America was making his morning coffee that he would drink before his afternoon coffee,

and his evening coffee.

and his night coffee.

"Why do you drink so much coffee?" Mexico asked, worried for America's sanity.

"Oh trust me, you wouldn't like me before my coffee," America said, using his best 'quirky mom' voice.

"That's funny, 'cause I hate you all the time-," Mexico started, denying his inner gay. America cut this negativity off by taking an extra loud sip of his coffee. "You have a serious problem Ame, you drink that stuff all the time. You legitimately need help," Mexico said.

"Me? Need help? Wasn't that obvious for a while now? I hear voices that tell me I'm in a fictional story, and I should kill everyone," America said.

"What does the voice sound like?" Canada asked, already finished with the plate of pancakes. America looked up in thought.

"Well, he sounds kinda like me..... except with more of a Southern accent.....," America said. Mexico and Canada exchanged worried glances.

"Don't tell me it's..." Mexico started.

"It can't be...." Canada continued.

"Confederate.....," They all said. Suddenly, they heard the 'DUN DUN DUUUUUUN' sound effect.

"Goddammit, why do I have to be haunted? Why can't I just be schizophrenic like a normal person?!" America exclaimed.

"I dunno...What now?" Canada asked.

"I don't know, what are you supposed to do when you start hearing the voice of your long dead twin brother?" America exclaimed.

"Good point. I don't think we can actually do anything about it," Mexico said. They all sat in silence for a few moments.

"Well, I guess I should be fine...."

Later, America went to his office at the UN building early to get more stuff done so he would have the weekend off. He was working all morning, and barely noticed when Mexico walked in the room.

"Hey, the meeting is in a few minutes. Are you ready for your presentation?" Mexico asked.
America smiled.

Kill him! Take his land! Manifest destiny!

Americas smile faded to a frown.

"Is everything ok? You look concerned," Mexico asked. America stood up and straightened out his coat.

"Yeah, it's just that Confederate is telling me to kill you and take your land again. It's getting a bit annoying. You would think being haunted would be at least a little fun," America said. Mexico shrugged.

"I wouldn't know. Anyway, you and Canada wanna meet up for lunch this afternoon?" Mexico asked.

"Yeah sounds good," America said as they made their way down the hall to the meeting room.

Later, America, Mexico, and Canada were all trying to figure out what to eat for lunch.

"I don't know, what do you wanna eat Ame?" Mexico asked.

The souls of the innocent

"A bagel!" America exclaimed.

No!!!

"Two bagels!" America said.

Ohhhh it's always what YOU want, isn't it? I hate you with every ounce of my nonexistent being.

"Hey guys, I got a question. How do you eat souls? Confederate says that's what he wants for lunch," America said. Canada looked up in thought.

"That's a good question. How does one eat souls?" Canada reiterated. Mexico frowned.

"More importantly, why would you want to?" Mexico said. They all sat in silence for a few moments.

"Y'know what? Let's just get tacos," America said. Everyone quietly agreed and they went on their way.

(2022 Parker: lol ok, vines are inevitable in this house, I see u middle school Parker <3)