North America Gang

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!

Mexico and Canada were hanging out in the living room.

"What day is it?" Mexico asked. Canada took a long sip of his coffee.

"The Fourth of July," Canada responded. All of a sudden, America dove into the room. He was wearing an American flag cape and was holding a speaker that was blasting 'Party in the USA'.

"Ame, What the hell?!" Mexico exclaimed. America got up excitedly.

"It's my Independence day!!!!!" America shouted. Canada laughed and rolled his eyes. America would never, ever let anyone forget his birthday (aka 'independence day'). Especially not Britain.

"So Ame, how old are you this year?" Canada asked.

"Let's see...," America looked up in thought, "I gained independence in 1776.... so that would make me....246 years old!" America exclaimed. Mexico shrugged.

"Well, Happy birthday Ame, but what's another year when you're immortal and will never die," Mexico said. They all shrugged.

"So, what's our plan?" Canada asked. America just smirked and led Canada and Mexico to the backyard. It was decorated with red, white and blue. Everywhere you turned there was an American flag. There was an entire table full of food. And there was a pool that Canada swore wasn't there a day ago.

"What the fu- Ame! How long did it take you to do this?!" Canada asked fearfully. America shrugged.

"I honestly don't know how all of this got here, but it's here," America said nonchalantly. His roommates stared at him blankly.

"Ok... so, now what?" Mexico asked.

"Oh, I already invited everyone I know," America said, "they should be here in about an hour,"

"Oh, ok," Mexico said. They all stood in silence.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I now must go and freak out in my room over the concept of nobody coming to my birthday party," America said while walking away.

But before he could, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" America exclaimed. He opened the door and was immediately tackle-hugged by Nekomi.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY AME!!!" She exclaimed.

"......ow....." America said, pushing her off of him. China helped him up. "Oh, hey China! I didn't think you'd actually come!" America said. China shrugged.

"Well, you invited South Korea, who of course invited North Korea. I came to keep him out of trouble so South Korea can actually have a good time... and y'know, to avoid any fights," China said, pulling North Korea into the house.

"I don't need a f*cking babysitter," North Korea hissed, glaring at China. America shrugged.

"Well, Russia should be here in a bit. You guys get along well, right?" America asked. China shrugged while North Korea silently cursed everyone out. Suddenly, Russia and his siblings walked through the already open front door. "Hey Russ!" America exclaimed.

"Hi, America," Russia said.

"The vodkas out back, in case you were wondering," America said. Russia nodded and headed to the backyard where he was greeted by Mexico and Canada.

"Why did Ame invite you...?" Mexico asked.

"Because him and I have been calling each other every so often to sob over how stupid our countries governments are. It's a mutual loss of respect for humanity that binds us," Russia said.

"Impressive!" Mexico remarked.

America was standing near the pool talking to Japan, Germany and South Korea.

"So he was all like, 'a big a** doesn't count if you're fat' and then I said, 'and a big d*ck doesn't count if half of its you're personality!'," America exclaimed, earning a laugh from those around. He was looking around at all of his friends having fun and hanging out. He looked at the pool, where his brothers were having a water gun fight with Russia and a couple of his siblings. Then over to the snack table, where Phillip, Indo and Malaysia were eating everything like their lives depended on it. Then at the outdoor seating area, where Britain and France were reminiscing about the old days, back when America was in his rebellious fase. And then finally to the very corner of the backyard, where North Korea was sitting there looking bored. America frowned. "Man, I feel bad for him in a weird way," America said. South Korea sighed.

"He's just not into parties, which sucks, but it's fine because being an introvert is in no way a character flaw and also doesn't immediately make the introvert an edgy bastard just because they don't like crowds. My brother is just an edgy bastard and would still be an edgy bastard even if he liked parties," South Korea said. America just nodded and turned away.

Later, America was unwrapping various gifts he got from his friends and family.

"Thanks for the tea dad! Really appreciate it..." America said sarcastically.

"What? Now you can throw a tea party!" Britain exclaimed jokingly, "I can help you put one together if you don't know how,".

"Meet me in Boston and I'll show you how we throw tea parties in America," America threatened slightly less jokingly. Suddenly, Mexico pulled America aside and shoved a box in his hands.

"Open it," Mexico said, looking down, trying to hide the blush appearing on his face. America smiled brightly, and opened his gift.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" America exclaimed, being met with a small painting of a Bald and Golden eagle flying symmetrically together. "Give me a hug, you're such an amazing being," America exclaimed. Mexico made a fussy noise, like a small child, which only effectively made him more adorable.

"Don't be lame... my gift was stupid... I did a bad job-,"

"Silence. Nobody is allowed to speak about my friends art that way. Not even you. You better cut the sh*t talkin' before I kiss your forehead gently in the moonlight and tell you you mean the world to me," America teased, hugging Mexico close. Mexico once again fought his inner gay.

Soon, everyone was sitting around the fire pit talking and laughing, when all of the sudden Mexico pulled out a guitar from thin air.

"Any song requests?" Mexico asked. America shrugged.

"Something American I guess. Just not Sweet Home Alabama. It was a nice song before everyone made it awkward. And whatever you do don't play-," America started.

It was to late.

America was huddling in the corner while all of his friends and family were scream-singing country roads.

"COUNTRY ROAAAADSSS

TAKE ME HOOOMME

TO THE PLACEEEEE

I BELOOOOOOONG

WEST VIRGINIAAAA

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOMMMME

COUNTRY ROADS,"

(2022 Parker: Oh, and by the way, I did edit these chapters to make Mexico more gay

No need to thank me)