North America Gang

Sabotage and Revenge

"HOW DARE THEY I CANT BELIEVE THIS UTTER BULLCRAP I SWEAR I WILL PROBABLY NOT KILL THEM BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO GO TO JAIL BUT IM SO FRICKIN ANGRY!" Canada screamed while pacing around the room.

"Dude! Stop! You're still injured!" America exclaimed, stopping Canada from pacing around.

"It was Saint Petersburg, I know it was, that sly son of a... he was my friend! My chess buddy! How could he!" Canada exclaimed. Mexico and America exchanged looks.

"Ok, ok, let's go talk to him ok? We're just gonna talk," America said. The trio got in Mexico's car and drove of to the hotel Saint Petersburg was staying in. They broke in the room and threw Saint Petersburg to the ground.

"We're here to talk," America said.

"Oh really? I couldn't have guessed," Saint Petersburg said calmly despite being pinned onto the floor.

"You sabotaged me! How could you?" Canada exclaimed.

"I didn't!" Saint Petersburg exclaimed. The trio were taken aback.

"Oh, for real? Sh*t, sorry bro," America said.

"Wait, how do we know you're not lying?" Mexico asked.

"I was literally talking directly to Canada the whole break. I'd be impressed with myself if I could somehow sabotage you while looking you directly in the eyes," Saint Petersburg said.

"Well if you didn't do it... who did?" Canada asked.

"Oh, that's easy! It was Novosibirsk. He's staying at a motel just outside of town, if you hurry you might be able to confront him yourself," Saint Petersburg said. The trio rushed out of the room.

"Thanks Pete! Send my love to Moscow!" Canada exclaimed as they left.

"Прощай! Good luck finding Novosibirsk!" Saint Petersburg exclaimed. The trio got in their car and stopped by their local lethal weapons store.

"Hello! What can I help you with?" The store clerk asked.

"Hey, where is your non-lethal kidnapping section?" America asked politely. The store clerk smiled.

"It's just over to the left! It's right next to the katana isle!" The store clerk exclaimed.

"Thank you so much!" America exclaimed. The trio made their way to the non lethal kidnapping isle and picked up some tranquilizer darts and tranquilizer guns to go with them. They also got some rope and duct tape.

"Shoot... this totals up to 200 dollars... how are we gonna pay for all of this?" America exclaimed. The trio glanced at each other, sighed, and took their shirts off.

Later, they walked out the store with their new kidnapping gear.

"I'm so glad we got these cool new undershirt taco compartments. They really come in handy," Mexico said. America nodded.

"It's weird... I didn't know that they actually made these. But it's cool that we were able to pay with tacos instead of money!" America exclaimed. With that, the trio headed to the motel where Novosibirsk was staying. They got to the motel and used their lock picking kit to break into Novosibirsk's room. They sneakily broke in, immediately getting spotted by Novosibirsk.

"What the hell? What are you-." The trio immediately shot him with a tranquilizer dart.

"Ok! Let's get this sucker home!" Mexico exclaimed. So they put the said sucker in the trunk of their car and drove back home, stopping at McDonald's for some nuggets on the way. When they got home, they tied Novosibirsk to a chair in the basement and sat around him eating nuggets waiting for him to wake up. When he woke up, he looked around in confusion.

"Nuggs?" America offered, holding a chicken nugget up to Novosibirsk's face. Novosibirsk looked at America like he was insane.

"Why am I here?!" Novosibirsk exclaimed.

"Why?! WHY?!? You sabotaged me! You unbelievable piece of human garbage! That was a bit rude, I apologize, but what you did was so screwed up! How could you? Why could you?" Canada exclaimed.

"Look, I'm sorry! Russia just really wanted to win this year! You win almost every year! Just let us have this!" Novosibirsk exclaimed.

"NO! I refuse! Mexico, bring out the torture device!" Canada exclaimed. Mexico began playing kids bop.

"Is this seriously our only torture device?" America asked.

"Well I don't wanna actually physically hurt the poor guy!" Canada exclaimed.

"My ears are already bleeding, I think this is torture enough," Mexico said. America facepalmed.

"Look, subjecting our victim to crappy children renditions of famous pop songs is not even classified as torture! Shouldn't we at least try to make this experience horrible?" America asked.

"I mean, you abducted me and tied me to a chair in your basement. So far all of this has been less than ideal," Novosibirsk said.

"Hey kids! Can you please explain why there is a police officer at our door looking for a 'Novosibirsk'?" Greenland exclaimed from outside of the basement.

"Tell them we don't know who that is!" America replied.

"Then why does he have security footage of you three breaking into his motel room and abducting him?" Greenland asked. The trio looked at each other in defeat. They untied their hostage and faced the police officer.

"I'm sorry about my sons sir, they are mentally incapable of making smart decisions," Greenland said. The officer nodded.

"Yeah, we know all about them. We already put them under house arrest. I already got the ankle monitors for them," the officer said, holding up three ankle monitors.

"No! Not advanced grounding!" Canada exclaimed. Greenland nodded and took the ankle monitors.

"Thank you sir," Greenland said. With that, The trio sat on the couch and dejectedly let them put the ankle monitors on them. The officer left with Novosibirsk, and Greenland gave the trio a lecture about how you shouldn't kidnap people.

"This suuuuuuuckkkkkkksssss we aren't even criminals!" Mexico exclaimed.

"You literally kidnapped someone. I genuinely can't believe they only put you under extremely unregulated house arrest. I genuinely believe this should have lead to you three going to jail," Greenland said. The trio remained silent for a few moments.

"So... um... about that therapist...," Canada started.

"I already booked you three appointments," Greenland said. The trio silently nodded.

"Erm... tacos?" Mexico asked. Greenland sighed.

"It pains me to do this, but there will be no tacos while you're on house arrest," Greenland said. The trio gasped.

"How could you?!" America cried.

"Stop doing illegal sh*t, and I'll let you have tacos," Greenland said, walking away to his room.

"Dammit... this is a great start to the holiday season," America said sarcastically.

"It can only go uphill from here....

Right?"